d Unspoken: wRitten

Work in Progress

2012-01-28T18:32:00.000-06:00

He created you, uniquelly beautiful, wonderfully complex in His image.

Make no mistake, you are planted on this earth for a purpose.

So find it and live it.

So it's a new year and I'm in a new country.
Actually on the New's Year Day I boarded a plane and left sunny Lagos for freezing Canada
not the best day or time of the year to switch vocations and locations
but through it all God has amazed mii at each step.

The itch to write came last week but I wasn't sure if this blog still had a purpose
and so I scratched my palms and looked at the snow flakes until the yearning left.

I have issues with pride, patience and peace.
Most days I keep pride tucked away where no one can see it
but the nature of the beast is that it has a way of sneaking up on you when you are least aware and I've had moments this year when I've fallen flat on my spiritual face and had no one to blame but myself.

I broke up with Anxiety and married Peace but it seems like at least once a week I still crave the illicit relationship I had with anxiety and so I wallow in worry.

I'll leave the discussion of Patience for another day.

And so now I realize that I must write, not because I have it figured out but because I need to chronicle the journey, the process, the snippets of grace in a maddening world. Growing up in the church, as a Christian you knew the law and you chose to either follow it or ignore it. I'm the good kid, who knew the law and did her best to follow it and when i fell short, kept up the appearance of GOOD. But what I've come to appreciate in this new year is that He wants us to testify of our struggles and triumphs, our mess and our mission, the things that make us scream and those that make us praise. Because at the core, we are all just a work in progress, that will be completed on the day Christ returns.

And so the theme placed on my heart is WORK IN PROGRESS. My aim is to focus on the reality of the Christian walk and not the feel good messages we are spoon fed just to loosen our wallets or the 10 second soundbites the religious right gives to score political points.

So welcome to the discussion, feel free to be honest because the prayer that precedes all prayers as C.S. Lewis says is "May it be the real me that speaks ..."

May

2011-12-31T20:07:00.000-06:00

May the grace of God chase after you
May you be slow enough that it overtakes you
Even on the days that you try and run
May His wisdom trip you up
May joy and peace cushion your fall
May happiness, peace and prosperity order each step you take

Why He came the way He did

2011-12-25T03:06:00.001-06:00

He was born in a stinking smelly manger so that you can rest assured that regardless of your birth place you have a place in this world and a home up above

He was born to an unmarried virgin woman so that you can rest assured that regardless of the mystery or circumstance surrounding your birth you have a bright future

He was born into the lowest family in the heirarchy so that you can rest assured that regardless of your parents connections or lack thereof you have access to greatness

He was born at the appointed time predetermined by God so that you can rest assured that God will make EVERYTHING beautiful in HIS time

He was born and placed in a human womb, bound by the laws of nature so that you can rest assured that God who created this world can and Will work inspite of this worlds limitations and laws.

He was born without fanfare or noise, without recognition or fame, recognized only by the lowly shepherd men so that you can rest assured and boldly approach the throne of God.

And even if none of these things above occured he still was born to save you and me and this alone should give us hope.
So be at peace
And rest assured
That He who began a good work in you WILL complete it

Only God Can

2011-12-06T16:14:00.000-06:00

Only God Can
Comfort us when we're mourning
Heal us when we're hurting
Mend us when we're broken

Only God Can
Forgive us when we're guilty
Rebuild us when we're ruined
Show us when we're blind

Only God Can
Humble is when we're proud
Exalt us when we're humble
Fill us when we're empty

Only God Can
Guide us when we're lost
Love us when we're hating
And lift us when we're fallen

This was written by Robert Feteke who lives in Camden South Carolina I saw it and had to share it.

Welcome to December

Sssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhh

2011-11-21T12:00:00.000-06:00

Don't tell anyone.

I FORGOT ABOUT THANKSGIVING.

My excuse:
I've been out of the US for almost a year.
To be exact, it's been 11 months and 19 days and i guess a couple of seconds.

I'm blaming it on the weather.
In Nigeria, it has gotten hotter and so my mind isn't thinking autumn and leaves, pumpkins and turkeys.
I'm thinking beach, sun, sunscreen and grading papers.

ANYWAYzzzzz.

Here's my thanksgiving list.

My mom: I really believe that God sent an angel to help my human (pastor) father. Because every single week I'm amazed by her graciousness and caring demeanor. Every morning she makes breakfast and/or smoothies and then goes to work before I'm even up. I am soo spoilit.
My kids: Tiny and DD: This year has been crazy hard, 90% of the people I love and consider close friends live in the US but I have these two kids that aren't mine but each day I see them its like joy mixed with happiness and sprinkled with spontaneity. Of course they parents are like an added bonus.
Skype: What would the world be without Skype? I just saw Sunshine for the first time in like 5 weeks and i can't believe that it has almost been a year since we stood in the same space. I mean i get the whole long distance of 3 months but 1 year. Thank God for SKYPE cuz without Skype, Sunshine and I would, wow, i don't kow how our relationship would be.
My students: especially 300 Level CIS. Oh my word. So i didn't expect to fall in love with teaching. I didn't expect to fall in love with Naija. But now that i'm about to leave I think about all these wonderful young people that made this year one of purpose. When i'm in class lecturing or dealing with registration issues I forget about all my issues and all those things I wish I had. When I look into their eyes and see the seeds of knowledge take root and know that they get the concept, i feel fulfilled. I can't really believe that I'm going to miss them but I am.
My mother's husband: seriously my dad is a basket of emotion and a teddy bear. Wonderful.
Sisters: SLynM, JbJd, OgeOge, LAnn, RB: they kept in touch. I don't have that many friends but these four ladies called mii. Spent money to call mii every single month, texted, bbmed. I am blessed to have these five ladies in my life. They are like my sisterFriends. So I'm taking God for my sisterSisters (who love mii) and my sisterFriends, ALL EIGHT OF THEM
Trinity: I don't understand how this year ended up being such a wonderful year. It amazes mii and confounds mii. I was supposed to be miserable, but I'm not. I was supposed to be depressed but I'm not. Sooo for some wierd reason that is only known to the Trinity this year has been beautiful.

I've found purpose for my life, i can finally say definitively that I know what I'm supposed to be doing till He returns.
By leaps and bounds, my self worth has grown to the point where I'm now battling with pride. :(
Most importantly, I know that beyond a shadow of a doubt that even when it doesn't make sense, and even when it hurts, He will make all things beautiful.
So i got peace that the world cannot purchase nor appreciate or understand.
I AM BLESSED.

So that's mii
What are you grateful for.

...

11.11.11

2011-11-11T16:09:00.000-06:00

Does a date matter
Who cares that this is the last time on this planet most of us will see this triple date sequence of 11

I don't care if something special happens today but all I know is that it says in the book of Galatians that Jesus came at the fullness of time

Hmmmm
Think about that

FULL MOON

2011-11-10T17:03:00.000-06:00

There's a full moon tonight.

Billions of miles away is a moon suspended in space and created by God.
Billions of seconds ago you were formed and created uniquely beautiful in your mothers womb.
Billions of days ago before the foundation of this world, God made a plan for salvation.

Before He created Adam, he had a plan to redeem Adam.
Before He created you, he had a plan to clean up your mess.

So tonight take a peek at the full moon and rest for a moment or two in the fact that He who created the moon, suspended it in space, taught it to reflect the sun's light and govern night and day Has made provision (in advance) for any mess you find yourself in today

God has made provision for my mess.

Wow

Awesome is HE.

GOD IS

2011-11-08T03:24:00.001-06:00

God is able to do exceedingly and abundantly more than I ask or imagine.
He has promised to perfect that which concerns me and so in this I rest.
In the midst of the storm I can hide under the shadow of His Almighty wings.
Because Jehovah Jireh is my Lord provider and will establish, prosper, bless and settle mii.
He will not only do this but He will continue to work in mii until He accomplishes what needs to be done in order to save mii.

And so in conclusion, as I try and get out of bed and venture into this turmoil filled world, I WILL not fear because ALL things must work together for my good.

ALL THINGS

A Proverb A Day Keeps Stupidity Away XXXI

2011-10-31T12:00:00.000-05:00

CHPT 31 V. 25

Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come.

What are you clothed in, is it Armani, or Gucci, Louis Vuitton or Polo, Chanel or Vera Wang?
What are you clothed in?
Sometimes we tend to focus more on what we wear and less of what character we wear.
Dangerous times, dangerous thoughts.
We judge people based on what we can see, not on how they act.
Beauty is fast replacing honor.
May this not extend to us.

PRAYER: Lord let strength and honor be my clothing.

A Proverb A Day Keeps Stupidity Away XXX

2011-10-30T23:59:00.000-05:00

CHPT 30 V. 7 - 9

“Two things I ask of you, LORD; do not refuse me before I die:
Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches,
but give me only my daily bread.
Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say,
‘Who is the LORD?’Or I may become poor and steal,
and so dishonor the name of my God.
(NIV)

And then he prayed, "God, I'm asking for two things before I die; don't refuse me—
Banish lies from my lips and liars from my presence.Give me enough food to live on,
neither too much nor too little.If I'm too full, I might get independent, saying,
'God? Who needs him?'If I'm poor, I might steal and dishonor the name of my God."
(MSG)

Solomon is asking for two things. Can you ask God for the same?
Can your daily wish be to be free from lies and blessed with just enough to live off of?
Or are you determined to be rich?

PRAYER: Lord free me from lies, help me be content.

A Proverb A Day Keeps Stupidity Away XXIX

2011-10-29T23:59:00.000-05:00

CHPT 29 v. 7

The righteous considers the cause of the poor,
But the wicked does not understand such knowledge.

Can you be a Christian and not consider the plight of the poor?
Can you indulge yourself and satisfy every want you have, ignore the needy and still claim to follow Christ?
Hmmmmm
Let's look at the second part.
King Solomon says that there is knowledge in contemplating the plight of the poor.
Does this mean that because you see poor people that you are wise?
Or does it mean your ability to put yourself in their shoes makes you smart?
Or does it mean that an understanding of their situation gives you wisdom?

I don't know.
The one thing I have learned this month is that there is much that I do not know about a lot of things soooo let us pray and just ask God to give us wisdom to understand it all.

PRAYER: Wisdom is what I ask for this day.

A Proverb A Day Keeps Stupidity Away XXVIII

2011-10-28T12:00:00.000-05:00

CHP 28 v. 9

One who turns away his ear from hearing the law, Even his prayer is an abomination. (NKJV)
God detests the prayers of a person who ignores the law. (NLT)

What do you think of a man that rapes his 8 year old daughter every Tuesday evening.
ABOMINATION.
What do you think of a mother who locks her daughter in a dog’s cage .
ABOMINATION.
How would you describe a boy that kills his parents and cuts their bodies to pieces and stores it in the freezer.
ABOMINATION
How does the Bible describe the prayers of a person who ignores God’s law.

ABOMINATION.

PRAYER: Lord may my prayers not be an abomination. At every point, open my eyes and help me to see your law.

A Proverb A Day Keeps Stupidity Away XXVII

2011-10-27T12:00:00.000-05:00

CHP 27 v. 6 and 17

6 Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy
17 As iron sharpens iron so a friend sharpens a friend (NLT)

Every year when the new season of American Idol starts I always ask myself one thing. WHO ARE THEIR FRIENDS? You know what I’m talking about, people with HORRIBLE voices drive hours to the audition site and they always tell the judges that their friends and family say they are good. Then they open their mouth and the china breaks and you try your best possible NOT to laugh.

WHO ARE YOUR FRIENDS?
Do they sit around and quietly observe you as you mess up your life, one destructive decision at a time? Or is their voice hoarse from shouting at you, their skin scratched and bloody from being dragged across the ground as your make you way to the water’s edge?

PRAYER: Lord, please give mii friends that speak the truth at ALL TIMES and help mii to be such a friend to another. In the name of Jesus I pray, AMEN.

A Proverb A Day Keeps Stupidity Away XXVI

2011-10-26T12:00:00.000-05:00

CHP 26 V. 12

There is more hope for fools than for people who think they are wise. (NLT)

Of my goodness, please read chapter 26 of Proverbs. By the time you get to verse 12, you start to feel sorry for fools. Likened to dogs who return to their vomit, stripped of honor, and compared to horses, the first part of this chapter does not mince words in describing the foolishness of a fool. Verse 12 then says that fools are better off than those who think they are wise. So a person who considers himself (herself) to be wise is more foolish than a fool.
OUCH

PRAYER: To be reachable, I must be teachable, pride will destroy mii and I must admit that even though I know this on paper, I don’t want advice or think I need it at times. Father, please don’t stop working in mii. Ever. Do what you have to do to save mii especially from myself. In Jesus’ name I pray. AMEN.

A Proverb A Day Keeps Stupidity Away XXV

2011-10-25T12:00:00.000-05:00

CHP 25 V. 19

Putting confidence in an unreliable person in times of trouble is like chewing with a broken tooth or walking on a lame foot. (NLT)

Have you ever tried to climb a flight of stairs with a sprain ankle? Or eat a plate of rice after a root canal?
Seriously it hurts.
So does trusting an unreliable person in desperate times. I think I have said this before in this series, but know your friends, know those who you cantrust. And above all “to thine own self be true.” NO
Above all, trust not in man but trust ONLY in God who creates man and orders all our steps.

PRAYER: I have put my faith in men and been disappointed. I sometimes treat you like an unreliable car, forgive mii God for lumping you into this category. Ancient of Days, Jehovah Jireh, you will just as you have in the past, provide for any obstacle I encounter in this life.

A Proverb A Day Keeps Stupidity Away XXIV

2011-10-24T12:00:00.000-05:00

CHP 24 V. 16

For a righteous man may fall seven times and rise again. But the wicked shall fall by calamity (NKJV)
The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again. But one disaster is enough to overthrow the wicked (NLT)

A smart person once said that we are not defined by our successes but we are defined by how we rise up when we are struck down. I hate disappointments, sometimes I don’t even set a goal or mention to others until I know I have accomplished it, just because I don’t like failing. But I WILL FAIL. At something, at some point, at some time we will slip and fall but knowing that if I rely totally on Him, I will rise again makes this journey bearable.

PRAYER: You are the God that holds mii up when I fail. You are my ALPAH and OMEGA. Before the foundations of this world, you made provision for the fall of man. Each mess I make, you have already provided a solution to. Each step I take, you direct. You will hold mii up with Your righteous right hand. Thank you Father.

A Proverb A Day Keeps Stupidity Away XXIII

2011-10-23T12:00:00.000-05:00

CHP 23 V. 35

They have struck me, but I was not hurt; They have beaten me, but I did not feel it. When shall I awake, that I may seek another drink? (NKJV)

Alcohol is not the devil, but it doesn’t bring you closer to God. Jesus said and is quoted in Matt 12:30, “This is a war, there is no neutral ground, if you are not gathering, you are scattering, if you are not helping me you are making things worse.”
Can I extend it to say, that anything you do that doesn’t bring you closer to God is hurting you? Or is that a generalization. Alcohol is NOT the devil, but when you lose control and have to be reminded of your actions the next morning. Something is wrong.

PRAYER: I don’t drink, but there are addictions of the heart that I commit in secret, that have negative impact on my relationship with You, please Father help me to seek you and not hid behind such destructive habits.

A Proverb A Day Keeps Stupidity Away XXII

2011-10-22T13:20:00.001-05:00

CHP 22 V. 7

The poor are always ruled over by the rich, so don't borrow and put yourself under their power.
(MSG)

The culture of borrowing is spreading across seas and into the lives of all. Governments are bankrupt and in need of aid. Mothers are getting second mortgages just to have even money to throw a lavish wedding for their daughters.
Is there such a thing as an acceptable debt?
Is there such a thing as a moral debt?
I don't know.
All I do know is that King Solo says you become a slave to the one you owe.
Be it a bank, a person.

So thread carefully in this credit filled world.

PRAYER: I have more than 5 credit cards, I like back ups and security blankets, I also like spending what I don't have. I need help Father and so do my friends.

A Proverb A Day Keeps Stupidity Away XXI

2011-10-21T12:00:00.000-05:00

CHP 21 V. 13

The one who shuts his ears to the cry of the poor, he too will cry out and will not be answered. (NET)

ENOUGH SAID

PRAYER: Lord, the things that break Your heart let them move my hands to act. The constant images and news report may cause us to be desensitized to the sufferings of the poor. Please Father forgive me and move mii to help alleviate another’s suffering in some way.

A Proverb A Day Keeps Stupidity Away XX

2011-10-20T12:00:00.000-05:00

CHP 20 V. 19

The one who goes about gossiping reveal secrets; therefore do not associate with someone who is always opening his/her mouth. (NET)

Gossips can’t keep secrets, so never confide in blabbermouths. (MSG)

Why are you surprised when the confidential information you shared with a talkative ends up on everyone lips. Solomon tells us to NEVER confide in a BLABBERMOUTH.

NEVER.

Let he who has an ear hear.

PRAYER: Sometimes I just can’t hold it in anymore and I vent to whoever is nearby, forgive mii Lord. Help mii to choose my confidants wisely. Also help me to be more discrete in sharing what has been told to me. Basically, Lord help me to shut up.

A Proverb A Day Keeps Stupidity Away XIX

2011-10-19T12:00:00.000-05:00

CHP 19 V. 21

There are many plans in a man’s heart, nevertheless the Lord’s counsel – that will stand. (NKJV)
We humans keep brainstorming options and plans, but God’s purpose prevails (MSG)

Plans and back up plans, alternate routes for every section of life’s journey. We estimate and rearrange it all depending on the traffic or obstacles in our current path.

To what end?

As a child of God, His Will prevails.
But we are conditioned to make plans, escape routes and contingencies but God orders the steps of the righteous. Each fork in the road He sees before you got into your car, each pothole He sees miles ahead. So try, even though it’s hard to be at peace with where you are, because His will prevails.

PRAYER: Seriously God, this is NOT what I need to hear today. I need a proverb that says that you will give me the desires of my heart because I am a good Christian. Instead I get stuck with this one about how Your will will prevail regardless of my back up plans. I need help. Am I interpreting this wrong? Please have mercy Lord.

A Proverb A Day Keeps Stupidity Away XVIII

2011-10-18T13:04:00.000-05:00

CHP 18 V. 21

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit (NKJV)
Words kill, words give life, they’re either poison or fruit – you choose. (MSG)

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt mii, when I die you will cry for all the things you called me.
Child school rhyme recited by many but NOT TRUE. Words do have an impact. Words are powerful, they breathe life or death. So choose the words that you speak very carefully. It’s not just about what you say to others it also includes the words you speak about yourself.

PRAYER: Seldom do I think every word through because it carelessly falls from my lips. Help me father, to only speak life forgive mii of all the times I didn’t. Send your holy spirit to daily remind mii.
For more on the power of the Tongue read James 3.

A Proverb A Day Keeps Stupidity Away XVII

2011-10-17T12:00:00.000-05:00

CHP 17 v. 3

The refining pot is for silver and the furnace for gold, But the Lord tests the hearts (NKJV)

Silver is refined in the refining pot and gold is made pure in the furnace. The Lord chooses to refine and make pure out hearts with trials. That is the only explanation that you will get, so hold on, stand firm, seek His face and be encourages that He who began a good work in You is able and will complete it before Christ returns.

PRAYER: I want a better explanation God, I want you to punish the wicked and give mii at least 30 weeks of pleasure each year because I’m your child. This is what I want but you say gold is made pure in the furnace, so keep mii in the furnace until I reflect ONLY Your love. I know it hurts, but do what You need to Father. In the name of your son that intercedes daily on my behalf, I pray. Amen.

A Proverb A Day Keeps Stupidity Away XVI

2011-10-16T12:00:00.000-05:00

CHP 16 v. 3

Commit your works to the Lord and your thoughts will be established (NKJV)

Depend on the Lord in whatever you do, and your plans will succeed (NLT)

Roll your works upon the Lord [commit and trust them wholly to Him; He will cause your thoughts to become agreeable to His will, and] so shall your plans be established and succeed (AMP)

The Amplified version amplifies (LOL) it, or should I say it sheds more light on the proverb. I think I’ll just let that marinate.

PRAYER: Lord, You know my desires, my plans and my aspirations. I am nothing without You, Lord, please draw mii close to You so that my desire is Your will, and until them keep me close, give me strength to accept the answer NO.

A Proverb A Day Keeps Stupidity Away XV

2011-10-15T12:00:00.000-05:00

CHP 15 v. 16

Better to have little, with fear for the Lord, than to have great reassure and inner turmoil (NLT)

I really do want the new car that always works and a safety net of like $10,000 (USD) in my bank account.
But at what expense?
Some chase wealth at all cost and end up forsaking family and God; others are surrounded by wealth and a table full of enemies planning their demise. The next verse says

“Better a bread crust shared in love than a slab of prime rib served in hate.” (MSG)
May God have mercy on us.

PRAYER: Lord if the only way for mii to be wealthy is to disrespect You, break Your commandments, maltreat others, ignore those I love, make a bed with liars, please give mii the strength to accept poverty.

A Proverb A Day Keeps Stupidity Away XIV

2011-10-14T12:00:00.000-05:00

CHP 14 v. 12

There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death (NLT)

The scary thing is not the death part, at some point we all WILL die if the Lord tarries for another century. The scary part is the fact that the person thought they were on the right path. Can you trust your heart to lead you home? According to King Solomon you can’t. Hollywood tells us with every single TV show that is feelings should be our guide, follow your heart, do what you feel is right. What does your heart say and then the guy races across town to find the lady of his dreams and they live happily ever after.
NOT.
There is a way of life that looks harmless enough; look again – it leads straight to hell. (MSG)
So trust not your feelings and lean NOT on your own understanding.

PRAYER: The older I get, the more confident I feel in my opinions. Lord help me not to trust myself, because my opinions may seem right but aren’t. Shake mii so that I rely ONLY on YOU to direct my path. Let your word but the light guides my feet.

A Proverb A Day Keeps Stupidity Away XIII

2011-10-13T09:00:00.000-05:00

CHPT 13 v. 20

Become wise by walking with the wise; hang out with fools and watch your life fall to pieces. (MSG)

Have you ever been on a stage and tried to pull someone on the main floor up to where you are? It isn’t easy. It is actually easier for the person on the main floor to pull you down from the stage. It is easier to become a fool than it is for one to make a genius, not impossible but easier. It would take two people to pull up a person as opposed to one person pulling down another.
Solomon puts it bluntly, if you associate with fools, YOU ARE A FOOL AND WILL BE DESTROYED.

PRAYER: Lord You know my friends, help mii Father. Please.

A Proverb A Day Keeps Stupidity Away XII

2011-10-12T09:00:00.000-05:00

CHP 12 v. 1

Anyonewho loves learning accepts correction, but a person who hates being correctedis stupid. (NLT)

Is stupid. OUCH.

About 5 years ago, one of my fave. Pastors preached a sermon titled “ARE YOU TEACHABLE”,there were five main questions that were used to help us determine if we wereteachable. The one that sticks in my mind is … DO YOU GET ANGRY WHEN PEOPLECORRECT YOU?
Simple answer. Yes. I don’t like to be corrected. This feeling is rooted in pride,and I simmer when one points out the error of my ways to mii.

To be teachable is to be reachable, if you know it all, Solomon just comesright out and calls you stupid. Stupid people don’t make it into heaven becausethey are fools, fools who are full of themselves that there is no room forChrist to dwell in their hearts.

PRAYER: Lord please make me teachable.

A Proverb A Day Keeps Stupidity Away XI

2011-10-11T09:00:00.000-05:00

CHP 11 v. 22

A beautiful woman without good sense is like a gold ring in a pig’s snout. (NCV)

Is a beautiful woman beautiful if she lacks common sense?
Wrong question.
What is the use of having a beautiful woman in your life if she lacks discretion?
She is likened to a gold ring on a pig. I don’t think I need to say anymore. I could go on and on and talk about our society norms and the value it places on blondes and size 2 models, but I’ll stop and say this.
If you are female I pray you are not useless and if you are male I pray that you will not become burdened with a beauty body cursed with an empty brain.

PRAYER: Lord, I have to admit that some days I pay more attention to my looks than I do my inner being, I groom and primp, tuck, snip and powder away the packaging oblivious to the fact that You care more about my heart and the way I love others than my looks. Help mii, so my inner beauty shines true for You this day.

A Proverb A Day Keeps Stupidity Away X

2011-10-10T13:17:00.000-05:00

CHP10 v. 19

Inthe multitude of words sin is not lacking. But he who restrains his lips iswise. (NKJV)
If you talk a lot, you are sure to sin; if you are wise, you will keep quiet.(NCV)

Imagine having to transfer water to a wine bottle from a bucket (20 feet away)with the use of a teaspoon. Is it safe to say that the more trips you make themore water ends up on the floor and that your chances of slipping and fallingincrease? The same could be said of our thoughts. James says to master controlof your tongue is a gift and hard so why do we open our mouths as frequentlyand let thoughts slip out.

If you talk a lot, you are sure to sin; if you are wise, you will keep quiet.

PRAYER: My heart Your home, my lips Your instruments, Lord please guide mii,please help mii to speak less and listen more. May my lips be an instrument ofpraise and peace and not one that defames and degrades humanity.

A Proverb A Day Keeps Stupidity Away IX

2011-10-09T12:00:00.000-05:00

CHP 9 V. 10

Thefear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. And the knowledge of the Holy Oneis understanding. (NKJV)

What is FEAR: feeling of profound respect for someone or something, feelings ofrespect, reverence, and acknowledgment of strength

What is KNOWLEDGE: psychological result of perception, learning and reasoning.

What is WISDOM: trait of utilizing or the ability to apply knowledge andexperience with common sense and insight.

So let’s rewrite the proverb
The acknowledgment of His strength and power which produces feelings ofprofound respect and reverence is the beginning of having the ability to applyknowledge and experience with common sense and insight. AND the information inyour brain that is a result of a conscious learning and reasoning of God isunderstanding.

PRAYER: Head knowledge is useless if each day I do not reverence Your goodness,grace and person. Lord You are all knowing and more than I can comprehend, helpmii Father to learn more about You and let it affect my decision making.

A Proverb A Day Keeps Stupidity Away VIII

2011-10-08T12:00:00.000-05:00

CHP8 V.13

All who fear the Lord will hate evil. Therefore I hate pride and arrogance,corruption and perverse speech. (NLT)

Profanity, sexually explicit lyrics, derogatory words and curses, do theyreally offend mii?

The movie laced with expletives does it make mii shudder or do I smile andlaugh at their crude humor?
Do I dabble in iniquity and secretly delight in blasphemous speech and juicygossip?
My answer to all three questions is the same. NO.
How about you?

PRAYER: To fear You is to hate evil. Lord open my eyes so I can see evil forwhat it really is. In song, in conversations, in all that my senses are exposedto, please show me the evil that has become the norm.

A Proverb A Day Keeps Stupidity Away VII

2011-10-07T17:17:00.000-05:00

CHP 7 V. 3

'Tie them on your fingers as a reminder. Write them deep within your heart' (NLT)
'…etch it on the chambers of your heart.' (MSG)

The preceding proverbs says to obey my commands and guard my instructions butit takes it a lil’ bit further in verse 3 when it says tie it to your fingers.Have you ever tried to tie something to your fingers and not noticed it ortried to use your fingers and be totally unaware of what was on them?Impossible. You will constantly be reminded of the object tied to your fingers.So I guess that is what the wise ones want us to do, to be so familiar withGod’s commands that every action, every step we take requires us to first bereminded of His truth.

PRAYER: Lord I’m not there yet. I takeyour word when it suits mii, when it is fashionable but I never let itinconvenience mii or cramp my lifestyle. Forgive mii Lord, You are Elohim soplease forgive and etch your truth on the chambers of my heart so that eachheartbeat is for you.

A Proverb A Day Keeps Stupidity Away: VI

2011-10-06T12:00:00.000-05:00

CHAPTER 6 VERSES 16 - 19

These six things the Lord hates. Yes, seven are an abomination to Him (NKJV)
There are 7 things he cannot stand (NCV)
No, seven things he detests (NLT)
There are 7 things that the Lord hates and can't tolerate (GNT)

A proud look,
A lying tongue,
Hands that shed innocent blood,
A heart that devises wicked plans,
Feet that are swift in running to evil,
A false witness who speaks lies,
A troublemaker in the family. (MSG)

Abominations that He can't stand, he won't tolerate because they detest him. these are strong words, he didn't just say "I don't like these behaviors" NO
He likened them to sex between a father and his 7 year old daughter. Abomination
He likened them to child sacrifices to get rich. Abomination.

... and yet sometimes we find ourselves on this list. Lying is second nature, and pride goes with the territory of being blessed and highly favored. And being a troublemaker, come on its extenuating circumstances and she deserved it.
But to Him.
It's all an abomination.

PRAYER: Lord, unconsciously i exhibit some of the traits on this list. Forgive me. Open the eyes of my heart so that I might see and accept that what breaks Your heart should break mine too.

A Proverb A Day Keeps Stupidity Away: V

2011-10-05T12:00:00.000-05:00

CHAPTER 5 VERSE 15 -16 (NLT)

Drink water from your own well— share your love only with your wife.
Why spill the water of your springs in the streets, having sex with just anyone?

I want to say more to hone in on the message of a man with 700 wives and 300 concubines but I won't because I'm not married, so what do I know about sex and fidelity.

PRAYER: Infidelity and me have a long history, not the sex but the seeking of amusement and thrills from movies, books, parties instead of from You. Help me Lord to find contentment solely in you. Shield my mind from the silent sexual sins that dwell in the mind, graphic and immoral thoughts that I assume hurt no one, but they cloud my mind. So please, help mii.

A Proverb A Day Keeps Stupidity Away: IV

2011-10-04T12:00:00.000-05:00

CHAPTER 4 VERSE 25

"Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you." (NLT)
"Keep your eyes straight ahead; ignore all sideshow distractions." (MSG)

Imagine a 100m Olympic athelete turning to look at the shoes another competitor is wearing in the middle of the race.
Or a race car driver pulling over to complain about a certain opponents tactics right before the final lap.
Or two members of a soccer team pausing in center field to dicuss the lack of skills the opposing team goalie has.

IT WOULDN'T MAKE SENSE

Neither does my focus on another person's blessings on this life's journey or my cry to God when the wicked prosper, or my gossipping about another Christians moral fall.

I am to fix my eyes not on others or their blessings or their issues but solely on my destination, heaven. This is the standard.

Prayer: Facebook and TV make it hard Lord for mii not to compare myself to others. Forgive mii for all the times I have used another person as the standard instead of you. This sideshow Lord, help me to ignore and focus solely on the author and finisher of my faith, your Son, Jesus Christ

A Proverb A Day Keeps Stupidity Away: III

2011-10-03T12:00:00.000-05:00

CHAPTER 3 VERSE 7 NLT

"Don't be impressed with your own wisdom. Instead fear the Lord and turn away from evil."

The smarter you think you are the less you fear God, the more you scheme and postulate, the more you sin. Case in point: King saul thought he knew it all, and so he decided to help God be God and do Samuel's job, nexxt thing you know he is disobkeying God's command to destroy the Amalekites and sipping tea with the Witch of Endor. Slow and slippery but ultimately my wisdom will corrupt my spirituality.

Prayer: Lord save mii from my wisdom, reveal to mii the folly of my thinking so that I will always fear you and never willingly turn to evil.

A Proverb a Day Keeps Stupidity Away: II

2011-10-02T13:20:00.001-05:00

CHAPTER 2 VERSE 3 - 4

Cry out for insight and ask for understanding.
Search for them as you would for sliver, seek them like hidden treasures
(NLT)

I hate looking for things, i hate the process of searching for a much needed misplaced item. The more important the item, the more frustarted I am. Imagine misplacing your winning lottery ticket, or your passport 3 hours before your flight leaves. The intensity by which you will search for it would rival that of a swimmer against a feroucious current. I want to be wise and discernment would be cool but searching that intensly as if it were a lost hidden treasure eludes mii.

Prayer: Father each day that I live help me to search for understanding and seek insight. I lack the dedication, so please help mii.

A Proverb A Day Keeps Stupidity Away: I

2011-10-01T13:14:00.000-05:00

"When you grab all you can get that's what happens: the more you get the less you are" (MSG)
"So are the ways of everyone who is greedy for gain; it robs them of life."
(NKJV and NLT)

In the climb and pursuit of worldly gain they lost the true meaning of life, step by step, piece by piece their humanity was stripped away by each choice in their quest for wealth and power.

Prayer: Help mii Father to focus on You and not on these things that will eventually pass away. May Your truth never be watered down with compromise in my life. Guide and lead so each day draws mii closer to You. Amen.

A PROVERB A DAY SERIES

2011-10-01T13:09:00.000-05:00

Have you ever been surprised by the amount of injury simple mistakes can cause.

Does frustration begin with a simple trip down memory lane as you recount poor choices made in haste.

Or maybe you are a veteran of slipping on milk you previously spilled.

I believe a proverb a day keeps stupidity away so join me as we begin the last quarter of this year.

Each day, this month, I will read a chapter in the book of proverbs and highlight a verse that speaks to mii. Feel free to share your favorite proverb as we journey together through this book of wisdom.

Prisoner of Hope

2011-09-16T14:56:00.001-05:00

Chain me with praises, tie me down with dreams, shackle my feet with promises because I'm choosing to be a prisoner of Hope

For more snippets of grace follow me on Twitter @UnspokenSnippet

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld from Glo Mobile.

Hiatus

2011-08-25T20:34:00.000-05:00

Follow me on twitter
@UnspokenSnippet

I can't remember the last time I updated my blog. Ever since moving to Nigeria, internet connectivity has been infrequent but when there is a will there is a way so I really can't blame Internet

Some days I get the urge to write but thoughts only come out in snippets no longer am I blessed with full length poems

I find myself talking freestyle and voicing 5 minute messages, some days I will just record inspiring voice notes that when I replayed amaze even mii

It seems even in the messy parts of life, God still speaks. Sometimes its only five words that He gives that usher in peace and on other days its 3 minutes worth of heavenly insights.

I tried sharing these messages via audioboo but then the fire on campus destroyed what lil' internet we had left and audio files can't be uploaded using my phone so I'm believing that in the appointed time this rants, monologues will be shared.

Anyway so until something changes, this blog won't be updated, but you can follow me on twitter

@UnspokenSnippet

Is my handle

I never understood the whole twitter phenomenon

(I never tried it, curiosity didn't even compel me to look at it from a purely academic standpoint, one would assume that any computer scientist born in the last 30 years would be vaguely interested)

until God started speaking in snippets and so snippets I will share
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld from Glo Mobile.

The Love of God

2011-08-08T15:49:00.000-05:00

This song is timeless and this third verse is so vivid I just had to share with y'all

Please pray for me, I need a miracle in the next 24 hours and it is requires Gods intervention

But yeah read d lyrics below

O love of God, how rich and pure!
How measureless and strong!
It shall forevermore endure
The saints' and angels' song

Could we with ink the ocean fill,
And were the skies of parchment made,
Were every stalk on earth a quill,
And every man a scribe by trade,
To write the love of God above,
Would drain the ocean dry.
Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
Though stretched from sky to sky.

O love of God, how rich and pure!
How measureless and strong!
It shall forevermore endure
The saints' and angels' song
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld from Glo Mobile.

Bank Issues

2011-07-07T16:12:00.000-05:00

Between 8:30 pm Wednesday night and 9:35 am Thursday Morning
I visited my local bank 5 TIMES.

Yes 5 TIMES
Listen to the story via audioboo

Bank Issues (mp3)

So yeah,

Thank you Lord that the God I serve doesn’t need to be serviced
Thank you Lord that the God I serve allows me to boldly approach him

Thank you Lord that the God I serve knows my need before I even whisper it to him

Thank you Lord that the God I serve has everything he needs to meet ALL of my needs

Thank you Lord that the God I serve is always available regardless of man made holidays

Postponed

2011-07-03T04:36:00.000-05:00

Due to internet connectivity and electricity issues the A Proverb a Day keeps stupidity away will begin in August

Enjoy this month
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld from Glo Mobile.

A Proverb A Day Keeps Stupidity Away: I

2011-07-01T17:52:00.001-05:00

Have you ever noticed how out of touch with reality most rich people seem. Have you ever been stunned speechless by the lack of compassion some political leaders have for their constituents. Look no further because verse 19 of the first proverb has an answer.

"When you grab all you can get that's what happens: the more you get the less you are" (MSG)
"So are the ways of everyone who is greedy for gain; it robs them of life." (NKJV and NLT)

In the climb and pursuit of worldly gain they lost the true meaning of life, step by step, piece by piece their humanity was stripped away by each choice in their quest for wealth and power.

Prayer: Help mii Father to focus on You and not on these things that will eventually pass away. May Your truth never be watered down with compromise in my life. Guide and lead so each day draws mii closer to You. Amen.

A Proverb A Day Keeps Stupidity Away Series

2011-07-01T17:42:00.001-05:00

Jesus came so that eternity is mine and this earthly life will be abundant. But fraught with mistakes and poor choices I walk straight into ditches.

I believe a proverb a day keeps stupidity away so join me as we begin the second half of this year as I read the book of proverbs. Each day, this month, I will read a chapter and highlight a proverb that speaks to mii. Feel free to share your favorite proverb as we journey together through this book of wisdom.

Sabbath Series: twentysomething

2011-06-18T12:50:00.002-05:00

"It is in the quiet crucible of your personal, private sufferings that your noblest dreams are born and God's greatest gift are given in compensation for what you've been through."

************************************************

I had one of those weeks and then this beautiful sabbath day begins with drops of rain from heaven that clouds the sky and obstructs the sun. The gloominess continues all day. But right now I'm on my blackberry skipping vespers to watch Gaither and Whitley Phipps says the words above and I pause to thank God for this crazy week and the unexpected trials that illuminated my inadequacies and forced me to my knees.

Have a blessed new week and may you be blessed with a heavenly perspective which outshines all difficulties that might prove to obstruct your view of Him
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld from Glo Mobile.

My NonCountry

2011-06-09T14:17:00.000-05:00

I was on The Activist's blog and read her post about the violence in Nigeria and these words spilled out

Listen!

i love Nigerian people.
i love our spirit.
our resilience is matchless.
no one no where can survive like we do
throw us lemons we make lemonade in four different flavors and sell it back to you at a profit
banish us to a foreign land we teach them our way of life and thrive
we are who we are.
i'm not ethnocentric
i believe other cultures and people are equally gifted
but we define and REMAKE and then embody the word RESILIENCE
we take misery and work it out till it becomes our mission.
we take pain and drain it until it sings a song of praise
we take adversity, sketch a picture to remember it once existed and then demolish it to dust
we are who we are

and so i'm waiting to see when my resilient nation will open her eyes and accept the truth.

I've been in Nigeria for 6 months after being gone for 12 years
and one thing is certain
we are not meant to coexist.

a creation by the greedy to transport goods safely through a region.
that was why we were amalgamated in 1914
don't let anybody tell you different
forcing two separate people together in order to transport the peanuts from Kano to the coast
look it up
sad but Lord Lugard made a mistake
the amalgamation was a fusion of oil and milk
it can never be digested
it will never milk
and so will struggle to try and make something beautiful out of this mess but I dunno

i saw a funeral yesterday for the corper from Otun Ekiti and i cried
a college graduate burnt because he did his job
because he answered the call to serve his country

after 50 years of marriage we still can't stand each other
after 50 years of marriage we still can't respect the sanctity of life
after 50 years of marriage we still draw blood to make a political point
after 50 years of marriage
no after 97 years of being called ONE NATION we still kill
we still destroy,
we still maim
we still suspend our humanity to justify our brutality

chalk it up to brainwashing, misguided youth, poverty, indoctrination, politics.

it doesn't matter
here's the bitter truth
brothers do not kill brothers
brothers do not decapitate the limbs of brothers and put them in an empty well
brothers do not enter churches to kill children

we are not brothers
we have never been
we can never be

so let us be
separate and friends
not together like this and enemies.

it is totally cool not to agree with me on this, it is wonderful to pray for peace and unity, blessed are those who believe this mess can be fixed. blessed are those who strive to fix it daily. I applaud them and respect them because swimming against the tide is futile but laudable.

Stupid

2011-05-26T14:48:00.001-05:00

Listen!

The 12th verse of the 10th chapter of Paul's Second Letter to the church in Corinth says,

We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise. (NIV)

Oh, don’t worry; we wouldn’t dare say that we are as wonderful as these other men who tell you how important they are! But they are only comparing themselves with each other, using themselves as the standard of measurement. How ignorant! (NLT)

We won't dare compare ourselves with those who think so much of themselves. But they are foolish to compare themselves with themselves. (CEV)

              NOT WISE
             IGNORANT
+            FOOLISH
                  STUPID

I am not calling you stupid, i really can't do that, but he who has an ear let him hear let him hear what Paul is saying.
The internet, facebook, television create this false hierarchy of success and unfortunately at times I'm stupid enough to feel bad because on facebook my friend is pregnant and I'm single, I'm stupid enough at times to feel sad because I'm driving an '06 Corolla and Meredith Grey has a 2011 mini cooper. Sometimes I'm stupid enough to get online and window shop and end up sad and discontent because of a yardstick that is false and unrealistic.

So yeah this isn't about you,

it's mii.I have my stupid moments.

Times when I spend money

I don't have on things

I don't need because of what people who

I don't know have.

Seriously,

this isn't about you.

It's mii.

I'm stupid

He wept

2011-05-18T13:25:00.000-05:00

I could have saved more people
I could have gotten more of them out
This pin could have saved two lives
This car could have saved at least 10
If I had made more money, if I hadn’t wasted and squandered it early on in life I could have saved more.

You have done a lot
1100 people are alive because of you

And yet He wept

I just finished watching Schindler’s List and so i open up my computer and with tears streaming down my face starts to type

Stripped of everything

He bankrupted himself to save them

He was a German of the Nazi party and yet he wept for the dead Jews he didn’t save

He wept bitterly because he had only saved 1100 lives
From the Polish ghettos he conscripted them to work in his factory.
Saved from the concentration camps of Auschwitz and the death trains headed into the unknown, he ransomed his wealth so that they might have a chance at life.
And yet he wept
He had made a difference in the lives of 1100 and yet he wept

He had given them dignity, saved them from the gas chambers and yet he wept

He had given them hope, traded his diamonds for their lives and yet he wept

He had given them a community, helping them avoid the death marches into the east and yet he wept

Who will weep

While the world was just finding out about the horrors of the labor and concentration camps
The ghettos of Warsaw, Bergen-Belsen and Auschwitz
Where to conserve ammunition they were lined up so that one bullet could kill five people
Promised freedom they were made to dig their own mass graves in the cold.
To conserve the poisonous gas they were stripped naked and forced to march around the chambers so that some would die of coldness.
The world knew not but Schindler wept
He wept for the lives that he couldn’t save because he lacked the means
He had made a difference
He had extended the lives of over 1100 people so that they could live for an extra 50 or so years ad yet he wept.
Everyday they die and I don’t weep.
We have the opportunity to touch lives for eternity, not just for 50 years and yet here we sit.
Lamenting our need to upgrade the electronic devices we have and change our hairstyles
Christ hung on a tree so that all men can live eternally
and yet we do nothing to tell them of his love and each day they are dying in the gas chambers of this world, suffocating on sin gasping for their last breathes unaware that life is just a prayer away

Who will weep

Who will weep for the children who are dying daily from drug abuse and neglect
Who will weep for the slow decay and genocide that pervades the mind of adult by Hollywood
The incineration of the mind that occurs by the media
The neglected souls that lay wasted and strewn on the floors of this land

Who will weep?
Will you weep?

Cuz each day genocide occurs right in front of your eyes
Lives are being incinerated by the devil’s machinery
Bullets of pride, disrespect and immorality penetrate the minds of our youth and yet we sit down and do
nothing

One bullet kills several; one ounce of cocaine is split and inhaled like gas into their lung chambers

One bullet kills several; one song about sex infects them like rabies till they go at it like rabbits

One bullet kills several; one video game in their hands gives them power to kill another in their mind

One bullet kills several.

Destroying their ability to think and function and yet I sit and do nothing
Frozen cold, desensitized by the media portrayal of violence they feel nothing at the death of another.
Video games at the age of 10 put them on trains destined to hell and I shed not one tear.
Daily they dig their own graves for promised fame, fortune and happiness

Who will weep?

And it doesn’t end with weeping
Nay the lament is the beginning, a precursor to the action and the lifesaving efforts that must take place
But Who will weep
He wept for the lives that he couldn’t save from Hitler’s demented order
who will weep for the lives dying daily from Satan’s demented order

I spend my money to finance his wars, the music I buy the movies I watch, the actors I patronize all work for him in the Secret Service of Hell and yet we weep not.
We are funding his secret war to destroy humanity.
And so we weep not.

Weep and then act.
Or pray that He reveals to you the dead and dying souls just so that you can learn to weep
Cuz after the weeping must come the action
Schlinder wept cuz he could only save 1100 lives from Hilter’s wrath
So weep and then save
Each day touch a soul
Each day extinguish the gas by praying for another
each day spread His love to inoculate those infected by sin’s disease
Each day weep

'Cuz Jesus wept
twice he wept in the bible
one for Lazarus, and the other time for those that dwell in the city
He looked at the city
The decadence, the decay, the fast paced lives that destroy relationships
and he wept
he wept for Jerusalem and all that lived there who were chasing a dream of houses built on sand.
I don’t know

But this movie struck a chord, cuz after 180 minutes of me watching Schindler help the Jews for over 5 years he wept cuz he believed he could have done more to save more lives.
I’m stunned
Seriously y’all
Okay I’ll stop talking and just go and pray that God lets me care enough about what break his heart and makes Him cry 'cuz yeah I really don’t care that much about those that die daily in sin, I don’t and yet I should

until we reach the point where what breaks His heart breaks ours
until then ...

i dunno

So I’ll go pray

ACGTTCGATC

2011-05-12T14:13:00.000-05:00

This thought is just floating but isn't controlled by my brain's gravity and so it floats, at some point i will refine it and clean it up but here it is defying gravity until i can slow down and concentrate and not be afraid to think and write. Sometimes I fill my mind with junk, just so I don't have to deal with the thoughts that hurt, I call it defying gravity just because rational thoughts have a way of weighing you down. But yeah ....

I love you,

Before the foundations of the world, I knew who you would be.

Each brain cell,

Each blood vessel,

Each hair,

Each thought,

So can't you just for one second believe that your blessings are also customized to fit your unique spiritual size.

Can't you just try and imagine my child that your blessing cannot be the same as his because you are not him.

Can't you just pause for one second and try and accept the fact that your blessing is and will always be customized to fit your physical and spiritual DNA.

To give you what you want is to feed a plant salt, a chicken eggs and a cow beef.

So chill, be still, cuz I actually do know what you really need.

I need you

2011-05-05T11:11:00.003-05:00

I need someone who can appreciate the beauty of silence peppered with looks

Someone who allows me to cry while I watch dreams die

I need to be able to marinate my fears in a warm embrace until all

that I feel is wholeness

Devoid of the physical touch thoughts cross the distance and

fill the void with each whispered word.

I need you.

I need someone who understands my fears and laughs at my jokes

A person who drags mii to the master with his soft request for prayer

One whose humility causes mii to pause a bit before I curse

Someone who loves mii just as I am and prays each day that I grow

closer to the One who alone can enact change

Mercy,I need you.

*************

I miss the man that loves me. It has been exactly 5 months since I last touched him.
This is the longest we have ever be apart, we habitually did 3 months because of school, but 5 and counting ....
i'm sad

I miss my sunshine.

Hit my head with a stick

2011-04-27T13:54:00.002-05:00

Listen!

I am dressed in praise, masked by applause

I dwell in others harmlessly but to you I’m an airborne disease that travels thru their lips to your head

I infect you so easily

So boldly you ingest me without even realizing that I am so deadly

I hide in your accomplishments

Your brilliance is my fragrance

Their vibrancy leads you to believe that I am boss

Justified by their praise,

I set you ablaze and you betray the One who gently urges you to obey

my weapon of choice is stealth, masquerading as well earned accolades

You got mii bad and have no clue.

Fattening myself on your list of awards

I’ve taken up residence, I am the landlord.

Your heart, MY home

Your thoughts are in my control

To be apart from me you would cease to exist

And so you enter the list of those who

And so you are confirmed on the list of those who persist to insist that they are His when in actuality you resist His call by allowing me to exist in your heart and so you are lost.

PRIDE

Lives I have touched, places I have been, books I have read or written, songs I have sang.
I am the person that I am.
Beautiful AND accomplished.,
Sermons that I have preached, men that I have dated, clothes I have worn and even people I have baptized
....

Sometimes in the service of God we allow the things we do for God to elevate us.

This is dangerous territory. I believe that pride can only be eradicated with pain, that is the only way that humility can shine in.

Please Lord hit me on my head with a spiritual piece of wood
Somehow it happened
But Lord here I stand
Hit me
Hurt mii if you need to but please humble me because I can’t get past me and all that I THINK I have accomplished

This is the song that inspired the post.
O ri mi wu ooo, E la 'gi mo.
Translation

My head is swollen (I am proud), Hit it with a stick.
being that i don't really speak yoruba the translation is not entirely correct so yeah bear with mii

Big, Bad, n' Crazy.

2011-04-18T15:21:00.000-05:00

So i'm ~~preaching~~ speaking to a bunch of college students and these words fall out
HE loves you big, He loves you bad, he loves you crazy enough to send his son to die

...and of course I hadn't planned it but it caught on and by the end of the evening it was stuck in 300 minds.

I get home and i think about it and the following week when speaking to another group of college students it falls out again.
My dad says I need to explain what i mean,
So the following sabbath I did to different group of college students and so here it is

now lets just say anytime i run into a student on campus they repeat it back to mii tsk tsk

A version of the text is below.

He loves you big, He loves you bad, he loves you crazy enough to send his son to die so that one day you could fly but instead you sit there and cry and ask him why.
Let me break it down
He loves you so big that he sat down and created this universe for you to dwell in, he spoke light into existence
planted trees to make each instance you decide to take a stroll special
he placed stars billions of miles away just to illuminate the night’s sky with variety,
deposited thousands of species of fish into the lake just so you could spend a summer’s night gazing at their beauty
that is how big he loves you
He loves you baaaaaaaddddddddddddd
He loves you so so bad that if the devil ever tried to touch one of his anointed, if the devil ever tried to step to you and attack your soul, he would place him in check. WHAT. He loves you that your afflictions are constantly being eclipsed by his glory, that he how badly he loves you
He loves you so so so so so crazy, so crazy that angle Gabriel almost let the words slip from his mouth the moment the Father asked Jesus to step down to save you
To put on the stench of humanity and rewrite man’s sordid history
Yes, the stench of sweat and sin and decaying skin that falls and turns to dust
We stink, but He sent his son to put on this mess just to save yo
I can almost imagine Gabriel words
Father are you sure yo want to send Jesus down there to rescue a bunch of ungrateful being
That are more concerned witht eh size of their wallets thant he depth of their soul
Seriously God they kill each other over petty political squabbles and make blood sacrifices to enrich their coffers .....

*********************************************************************************

At some point I will write a book about the crazy turns of this thing called life.

The title might be Snippets of madness in a grace filled world

or maybe i should switch the madness and grace around

Pen to Paper

2011-04-13T14:02:00.002-05:00

To put pen to paper is to give voice to the madness that lurks in the shadows and that is a crime that my thoughts refuse to allow my tongue to commit and so I linger and wait.

To put pen to paper is to give voice to the uncertainty that dwells in the recesses of my mind and that is a predicament that my thoughts hesitate to allow my tongue to utter and so I linger and wait.

To put pen to paper is to give voice to the dreams that are born out of a hope imprisoned by the reality of this society, shackled deep inside the mind, this prayer, that my thoughts struggle to allow my tongue to whisper into existence.

To put pen to paper is to pray and so I say
Our Father ...

Faith is

2011-04-04T14:40:00.000-05:00

Okay so below is what i tried to post last week but let's just say that in this beautiful country having a modem and paying for internet doesn't necessarily mean you will have connectivity

*********
Last week Tuesday was the day I decided to resurrect this blog. I got an email from a friend that analyzed her shattered dreams and I was in turmoil. I couldn’t talk to her at that moment because of the time difference (me being in Naija and all) and so I just took a break from work, turned on my recorder and started to talk. This audio is what fell out. This is unedited so I beg your pardon in advance. Yesterday, I listened to it and started transcribing it and tried to clean it up and make it all poetic for this blog. But this blog started about 5 years ago about the unspoken and the original just touches me more than the one that rhymes, and so here it is.
Ummm I’m still trying to edit it and all but I think I’m falling in love with the spoken and not the clean edited things of life.
So …..
We will see.
Below is the transcribed version just in case the audio is muffled. Of course when I was typing it out, I started to add some stuff that wasn’t in the original, tsk tsk kafo
I MISsED YOU GUyS LIKE cRAZY, hi blogville.

How do you define faith
What is faith to you?
What is the first thing that comes to mind when someone says the word faith
When I was a child, faith was the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen
And that meant absolutely nothing to me, but I memorized when I was a kid
Faith was the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen
Hebrews 11:1
Faith was the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen
But in this reality, you have to admit that when you grow up, it is not what you memorize as a kid that gets you through each day but what you have experienced to be true
So let’s take a minute or two to define faith
Faith to me, is not just the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen but it goes deeper
It goes a little bit deeper, because you have to admit that faith is tough.
Someone once said that faith is believing God is true to his word when my feelings are screaming something different
Another said that faith is certain belief in what I know to be true but cannot at this moment feel or touch
Another one said faith is completing my small part of the picture or puzzle without being able to see the finished project
I say faith is walking blind without a compass assured that each step you take brings your closer to your destination
Faith is being assured of that destination even though you are blind and have no idea where you are going but you are at peace because you know that all you have to do is take the one step each day.
That is what faith is to me
Faith is waking up and realizing that everyone you love is dead, and everything you sought to acquire over the last 30 years is gone with the tsunami and yet you still say it is well with my soul
faith is putting 210 thousand dollars into a degree and realizing that after 5 years you have nothing to show for it because every single door you thought would be open has been rudely slammed shut in your face that is faith when you wake up the next morning and say God is good
Faith is leaving the one you love, getting on a plane with a one way ticket not sure of how or when you will return
Faith is praise instead of tears
It is worship that hurts
Faith is an empty womb in a body that lives in a house with a baby’s crib
Faith is blood covered hands digging through the rubble in search of a loved one
You gotta want faith, you see, faith cannot be passed to you by your father or your mother, faith is not something that you get through DNA,
It cannot be bought or sold
Faith is something that is earned, thru the hard fought tears that trickle down your face when no one is watching
I have to admit that my faith everyday is not the same because some days I wake up and realize I barely have enough faith to roll myself out of bed, talk less about plastering a smile on my face.
I have just a little bit of faith to get me out of bed in the morning, I don’t have faith to be joyful, I don’t have faith to smile, I just have the faith it takes to not commit suicide
You see you gotta define faith, you gotta realize that faith cannot be bought or sold, it cannot be passed down to you by your father or mother or encode into your genetic sequence
You gotta want it and you gotta want it bad, but in order to get faith, you got to go thru the trials
Some of us say Lord give me a little bit more faith but what we are hoping for is Lord show me more so I won’t have to rely on you so much
And I have to admit, I have to admit, I have to admit that nine days out of 10 I would take sight over his spirit, God’s presents over his presence, because all I want to be able to do is get through the day and I would really preferred it if He would just give me what I want, instead of asking me to walk by faith
In order to walk by faith you gotta have actions
Faith is realizing that sometimes you will leave your house with an empty gas tank and still hope to reach your destination 30 miles away.
Faith is trusting when everyone around you calls you a fool
Faith is waking up each morning and believing that His word is true even though you can’t see the manifestation in your life, faith is realizing that your feelings are THAT, only feelings and they can’t go any deeper than your skin so you have to realize that what gets you through is the fact that He is God and He is good
Faith is rooted in his word and that is why though the tears fall I quote Matthew 10:30 which says that my hairs are numbered and not counted.
Knowing that my hairs are numbered makes me realize that my days are numbered and ordered
Isaiah says that my name is engraved on his palm, not written to be erased by the cold bitter sting of disappointment. Engraved by the same nails that nailed him to the cross and so I know I will not be lost because He who began a good work will see it to the day of completion
I put faith in that.
I rest in that.
I sleep on that
What do you put faith in because faith is more than just memorizing the words faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen
you gotta realize that faith cannot be bought or sold, it cannot be passed down to you by your father or mother or encode into your genetic sequence
Faith has to go a little bit deeper, faith has to hurt, faith is the tears running down your face when your spouse is knocking on death’s door in a hospital room and you have nothing. Your home is double mortgaged to pay for the hospital bills the insurance company refuses to handle and yet you still trust in the one who was present as your birth.
That is faith, anything less than that is a waste of my time

Faith

2011-03-18T07:42:00.000-05:00

Faith is walking blind without a compass assured that each step brings you closer to your destination.

So take life one day, one step 'cuz that is all you can do in this unpredictable world

So how do you define faith in your own words.

His strength is perfect

2011-03-13T15:35:00.000-05:00

I'm thinking of Japan and the words of this song bring me comfort.

His strength is perfect when our strength is gone

He'll carry us when we can't carry on.

To write is to ...

2011-01-20T14:31:00.002-06:00

To write is to think;
to think is to allow the mind to exercise its ability to reason,
to reason is to be immersed in the reality of one’s circumstance and reach a conclusion.

The only conclusion that one can reach is that pain exists and I am married to him.

To write is to think;
to think is to allow the mind to exercise its ability to dream,
to dream is to be immersed in a fantasy that is predicated upon an illusion.

The only illusion that survives in this reality is that life isn’t fair and dreams are lived only in the subconscious state of sleep, not in real life.

To write is to think;
to think is to allow the mind to exercise its ability to hope,
to hope is to be immersed in His word allowing it to eclipse all trials to reveal a higher purpose.

The only purpose that one can see at this level is that pain exists, and is necessary but He controls it. God is the blessed Controller that allow your dreams to rise and fall all in an attempt to show the world His glory.

******

I cannot lie on this blog. I cannot feign happiness or joy and so i have not written in a while because most of my thoughts are toasted in pain and buttered in self pity. Forgive my absence but as the french say
"poco a poco" = little by little

the Son shines thru

HAPPY NEW YEAR Y"ALL

2011-01-06T17:21:00.000-06:00

I'm at a loss for words

and so this blog remains stale

No that is not true.

I rarely am at a loss for words

right now I'm just at a loss for positive words that can form a coherent thought.

But happy new year y'allllll

My Daddy is Retired oooooooooooooooo

2010-12-16T10:41:00.002-06:00

This is what I wanted to say

Do you know why we are here?
We are not here because my father is the smartest man because he isn’t.
He has received more than ONCE all the grades available, from A to F
We are not here because my father had the most connections because he doesn’t
He grew up in a tiny town in Ekiti state away from those of influence
We are not here because he is the best preacher because he isn’t
We are not here because he is the most handsome man because he will be the first to admit that he isn’t
We are here today because of two words
Surrender and Grace
Approximately 40 years ago, my father made a conscious choice to surrender his whole life. This was not an easy decision and sometimes it didn’t make sense. He surrendered to God in the good times, in the bad times, when it made sense and even when it didn’t and that is why we are here today. This is the first time that our nuclear family, the seven of us have been together in 12 years and yet through it all, through the separation and pain from his children and sometimes His wife he surrendered to God.
We are here because my father, a man like any other surrendered and God in his infinite wisdom bestowed his Grace upon him.
So today I give Glory to God the Father for his love and the Son, Jesus Christ for working out the rough edges on this imperfect man, Joseph Adebisi Ola who surrendered to God.
To my dad you rock because you figured out the most important thing in life is to love those you have been blessed with and surrender daily to the will of God
To my mom you rock because for 35 years you have lived with my dad and supported his ever move even when you didn’t understand it.
To everyone here today thank you for coming to celebrate this surrendered man blessed by the grace of God. So let us give God all the honor, glory and praise.

This is what I said

I love you daddy.
I love you soo much.
Okay I’m going to cry because Busayo has made me all emotional and stuff.
My dad over the course of the last three years has called just to say Hi. He would call me everyday at 2 a.m. just to check in and ask about all my sisters. That isn’t the reason why I love him so much. Today I love him soo much because he surrenders to the will of God even when it doesn’t make sense and separates him from his wife and kids, he follows God
And then the tears started to fall
I love you
And then I passed the microphone to the next person because the tears were streaming down my face.

So i've been in Naija for 10 days
and I'm trying to figure out how people survive with no internet
I have eating too many yams and plantains that I'm sure my intestines are turning to yams.
I have also eating Suya, i need to eat it at least 4 more times before new year's
what else
I have a profound hatred for NEPA and all things that are controlled by the government
Seriously how can Senators be getting paid 150 thousand US dollars a month and our country be this way.
I am going to start a campaign against all Nigerian leaders, even Obama doesn't earn that much in a year and here we are.

I'm also learning about MTN and GLO and credit and it's fun.

Not sure when the next update will be but stay blessed and beautiful.

UPDATE

2010-12-16T10:26:00.000-06:00

I have been in Nigeria for the last 10 days.
This is my first trip back to Nigeria in 12 years.
I have to admit that I'm not really excited about this trip.
I bought my ticket about a month ago and then cried all the way back home.
I haven't really posted anything because I'm too scared to write for fear of what will come out of my lips.

Anywayzzzzzzzzzz
I'm in Nigeria right now and quickly learning that a different set of rules apply.

Different Packages

2010-11-24T23:43:00.000-06:00

Thanksgiving comes in different packages.
This year it is packaged in love that shines through :-

A friend that chooses to ignore my recommendation, buy a ticket last minute and get on a plane just to say hi. Your beauty is made manifest in the countless prayers that span the miles that separate us.
A sister that gets excited about the little stuff, keeps some secrets and lets others out, stays up all day just to be there, just to laugh, just to smile, just to be there. Your beauty is made manifest in your devotion and selfless giving.
A couple that believes in love more than they believe in diamonds, who support in donning the various hats of friend, counselor, planner and cheerleader. Your beauty is made manifest in your ability to infuse courage by taking your life together one step at a time despite obstacles.

So today
I'm choosing to see this as another step unafraid of the challenges that lay ahead because I'm blessed to have these witnesses and many more to carry, pray, support, encourage, cry (i think i don't need help in that category) and laugh me through.

Choosing to SEE

2010-11-17T22:11:00.001-06:00

Best book of 2010.
Read this book if:

You are a control freak who is struggling with letting go
You are finding a hard time adapting to the unexpected circumstances that come your way
You are struggling with the Goodness of God admidst the storm
You are a huge fan of Steven Curtis Chapman songs
You are in need a some heavenly perspective
You are oscillating between faith and despair
You are grieving the loss of a family member

Seriously. I just finished reading this book and now I'm off to buy the Kindle version just so I can have it on me on my ipod wherever I go.

This last month has been excruitatingly painful (not sure if that is grammatically correct). I find myself between a volcanic mountain and the jaws of a shark and it's hard but this is what I'm learning, I CAN DO HARD. Having a heavenly perspective and not wallowing in self pity is not the easiest thing to do when pain is seeping from all pores but today I'm choosing to SEE.

I'm choosing to SEE Your goodness, mercy, grace and love
Choosing to SEE that You has a plan amidst the storm

Choosing to SEE that every single action has been preordained by You.
Choosing to SEE that from up close the picture may look blurry
but the further I get from this mess the more beautiful it appears
Choosing to SEE that You are in control regardless of the fallout
Choosing to SEE that my steps are ordered

Choosing to SEE that You are God and You are good
Choosing to SEE and believe and praise because on a hill faraway stood an old rugged cross
and because He lives I can face whatever tomorrow brings
Because He lives all fear that is rooted in low self self-esteem, broken promises,
broken dreams and unmet expectations is gone
Im choosing to SEE that He holds tomorrow and that is why my love is worht alot.

Basically I'm choosing to SEE and believe that He is all good and not all bad because those are the only too options.

So that is what I will try and do for the next 18 days I will choose to SEE

Upside down blessings

2010-11-11T01:11:00.002-06:00

you are blessed beyond measure
breathe in and then out
you are chosen
each complication is exactly tailored to fit you,

to bring out the worst in you so you can draw closer to Him

He loves you too much to let you drown in your pseudo happiness

He loves you too much to let you wallow in the applause of the masses

He loves you too much to punish you with blessings you are ill equipped to receive

He loves you too much to much to ignore your pleas of repentance

and so He allows this.
He allows this situation to bend you but not break you
To perplex you but not cause despondency
That is how much He loves you
Blessings masquerading as tailor fitted trials
Oh my word
Each mess the enemy throws your way He fashions into a lesson
Each curve ball is transformed into a mission
So breathe in and then out
Scream and then Laugh
Cause you
Yes, You are BLESSED

Don't do anything

2010-11-03T23:35:00.033-05:00

Watch this video before reading

Don't vote.

Don't pray.

Don't volunteer.

Don't listen to their cries.

Don't pray.

Don't intercede for others.

Don't forgive those who have wronged you.

Don't.

The church has not listened to your needs, they have mistreated you and gossiped about you. They have ignored your request and stereotyped you based on clothing.

So please ignore the call to serve.

Watching this political ad got me thinking, if you don't vote for your political party, then the other party wins. This verse makes it personal

He who is not with Me is against Me, and he who does not gather with Me scatters abroad.
NKJV

This is war, and there is no neutral ground. If you're not on my side, you're the enemy; if you're not helping, you're making things worse.
MSG

Matthew 12:30

So let me sum it up in a few words

Inactivity for the cause of God is activity for the cause of Satan

Rack, Shack and Benny

2010-10-27T20:50:00.003-05:00

Daniel 3
²⁰ And he commanded certain mighty men of valor who were in his army to bind Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego, and cast them into the burning fiery furnace. ²¹ Then these men were bound in their coats, their trousers, their turbans, and their other garments, and were cast into the midst of the burning fiery furnace. ²² Therefore, because the king’s command was urgent, and the furnace exceedingly hot, the flame of the fire killed those men who took up Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego. ²³ And these three men, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego, fell down bound into the midst of the burning fiery furnace.
²⁴ Then King Nebuchadnezzar was astonished; and he rose in haste and spoke, saying to his counselors, “Did we not cast three men bound into the midst of the fire?”
They answered and said to the king, “True, O king.”
²⁵ “Look!” he answered, “I see four men loose, walking in the midst of the fire; and they are not hurt, and the form of the fourth is like the Son of God.”

hmmmm

They went into the furnace bound: The devil has a way of shaping our temptation in such a way that we are crippled and bound going into them. He knows our proclivities and our weaknesses and so he fashions a trial that is heightens the pain because of our issues. For instance, I'm immune to alcohol so the devil doesn't tempt me in a bar, he tempts me in a bookstore. So beware lest you fall.
They were cast into the midst of the fiery furnace: You will go through the fire, unfortunately God doesn't rescue all of us before we get into the fire, just because you have faith and take a stand for God doesn't me the devil will let go that easily. I always thought that all I had to do was stand for him and He will let trials pass over me, but it's not always that easy, sometimes you will have to walk through the fire
They were four men: He meets you IN the furnace, IN your trials, IN your tribulation, that is where you see Him. I have to admit that most days I'm blind to His working, good or bad, so this gave me hope that I might eventually see Him in this mess.
They were all loose: They went in bound, but came out loose. Wow. The weakness, the proclivity, the spiritual deficiency that the devil used to cast you into the fire, you lose. Christ sets you free from yourself IN the fire. You are then free, free to live, free to share, free to worship. I'm most honest in my tribulation, I realize that sin seizes to control me when I'm in trial, i think it is because I'm focused on the source of my strength.
They were not hurt: God burnt up the chains that had them bound but they were not hurt. This is where I lose it y'all, because most days I feel like I'm hurting, most days including today I feel emotional and sometimes physical bruised, but they were not hurt and so I take comfort because my soul will not be hurt, though this physical body perish, I will rise. You see, I serve a God who has power to burn up my chains and the ropes that bind my character but leave me untouched.

Oh my word, this is deep, G. I. G. God is good.

Another thought just crossed my mind,
How did King Neby know what Christ looked liked?
Could it be that the lost around us will only see Christ when we are in the fire?
Could it be that we might not even have to give them a bible study and they will see Him?

Unanswered Questions

2010-10-20T23:37:00.001-05:00

Stuff happens.

Each time it rains, it pours and thunders

and so we ask why.

The pain obstructs our view and clouds our perspective
We refrain to reframe our troubles through heaven's eyes.

and so the tears fall because we want answers and all we get is silence

Then in walks the friend who says that God is good and Satan is the perpetrator
SERIOUSLY.

God is in control of this universe, not the devil.
So you can say the devil did it

but God allowed it
permitted it

ordained it

sanctioned it
decreed it

Choose the word you want.
I don't care. The fact remains that my pain exists and He sees it

So we look to the sky and question.
We scream WHY

Why did you allow him to treat me so

Why is my house still empty after 3 miscarriages

Why am i alone with no one waiting for mii at home
Why did you allow her to leave and die before her prime

on days like this

He says

Kafo, if I loved you enough to die for you
can't you trust Me enough with the unanswered questions

can't you trust Me with your pain

i become speechless

because under the shadow of the Cross, His love shines through

Be Silent: 3,800 versus 1

2010-10-15T16:11:00.002-05:00

I know the death of 1 poor child is less tragic than the suicide of a gay American teen.

I know the death of 10 Asian children is less horrific than the suicide of a gay American teen.

I know the death of 100 African children is less lamentable than the suicide of a gay American teen.
I know the death of 1000 S. American children is less sickening than the suicide of a gay American teen.
I know the death of 3,000 children under the age of 5 is less heartbreaking than the suicide of a gay American teen.

I know this

and now you know this

because yesterday 3,800 children under the age of 5 died of preventable causes like diarrhea contracted from unclean water and no one talked about it.

I didn't, did you?

Today another 3,800 will be buried and not a tear will be shed, or a story written.

No memorials, or wreaths will be laid, no psychologists on talk shows.

None.

This is the world that I have created by being silent

This is the world that I love

This is my world

This is your world

So live, be silent and be happy.

Just in case you wanted to break the silence
visit
BLOG ACTION DAY: http://water.org/learn-about-the-water-crisis/facts/
ADRA Water Focus: http://www.adra.org/silas/flash/phlog_water/index.html
for more info

Watch

Statistics
Every 20 seconds, a child dies from a water-related disease.
Number estimated from statistics in the 2006 United Nations Human Development Report.

1 life lost in this senseless way is tragic, 4 lives lost is a crisis - Ellen DeGeneres
(message on kids who have committed suicide in September due to anti-gay bullying)

Every day, 3,800 children under the age of five die from preventable causes like diarrhea contracted from unclean water.
Dirrahoea remains in the second leading cause of death among children under five globally. Nearly one in five child deaths – about 1.5 million each year – is due to diarrhea. It kills more young children than AIDS, malaria and measles combined.
Diarhhoea: Why children are still dying and what can be done. UNICEF, WHO 2009

Chilean Miners v. Insanity

2010-10-13T01:46:00.002-05:00

It's 2:08 am EST, the fourth miner was just brought to the surface.
G. I. G. God is good and as I sit thoughts run through my mind.

Insanity*

is one of the Chilean miners losing faith and attacking other trapped miners, tonight, hours from rescue.

is the crowd mourning each time the siren sounds when a miner emerges

is one of the miners detaching his headset while in the capsule halting contact with the rescue team

is one of the trapped miners refusing to enter the capsule because of fear

is one of the trapped miners throwing a fit because he wasn't the first miner to be rescued

Insanity is mii

could it be you?

Too harsh, let me come a lil' bit closer.

Do you cringe at the testimony of a Christian friend, wondering when your deliverance will come?

Are you more likely to moan about what could go wrong in your situation when good news is being shared?

Do you find yourself detaching your headset, ending communication, avoiding prayer?

Would you refuse to get in the capsule, out of the boat and walk on water because of fear of failure?

Would you throw a fit because God chose to rescue another before He did you?

Here's what I'm learning today as I watch the rescue mission. It would be insane for me at this point to throw a fit, stop praying or get jealous.
I serve a God who is intimately acquainted with my needs, dreams, drama and proclivities. He is the ONLY one aware of the amount of pressure needed to cleanse me of selfish pride. He knows which dreams of mine are routed in sin and how long my friend can handle her current situation. And so today I breathe in, breathe out, say a prayer for the remaining 29 miners and believe that He who brought me to it will see me through it for His glory alone.

Another thought that is running through my head is company. What company do you keep? Do you surround yourself with hopeful people who have testimonies or those who can't dream of sunlight? As the miners come to the surface, their faces are wreathed in smiles. How beaten up do you appear, what toll is your mental health having on your physical appearance? When your day of rejoicing comes will your appearance speak of your faith or doubt?

Mercy, questions, questions. I'm tired and need to get to bed, it is closer to 3 am than 2 but i have to finish listening to Bebe sing this song and watch another rescue. Listen to the words (via my playlist in the side panel) they are beautiful.

3:45pm
Update
Hour 17
20 miners out 13 still down.
Still thinking

Insanity can also be defined as the rescue team withholding from the trapped miners the fact that a rescue plan was in the works.

Insanity is Christians withholding from a dying and trapped world that there is a rescue plan, it does work and its been in place for over 2000 years.

*Pardon my use of the word insanity in relation to the miners' experience. If one of them has a nervous breakdown tonight or tomorrow it is not insane but understandable. My goal is not to demean or trivialize their struggle but instead to draw a parallel between their harrowing experience and rescue and our Christian walk during adversity. I have nothing but respect, admiration and good will towards these men because I can't even imagine their struggle.

Caleb [1: Backstage Crew of the O.T. ]

2010-10-06T23:17:00.011-05:00

Dog.

Some say that is what my name means.

Demeaned.

Called Foreigner, Alien, Illegal immigrant, Attache.

Choose your pick, I've been called all these names and more

With rancor, even to my face.

Disgraced I should be when they questioned my birthplace

but I know what I know, and so I live it.

Leader. I have now become among those who used to call me names.

Chosen to represent the tribe of Judah.

Our task was to scout out the Promised land,

Filled with milk and honey, we rejoiced when we saw grapes the size of oranges.

The air so fresh, the grass so green, rivers pristine.

Oh how we celebrated, we all did.

That was, that was until they saw the sons of Anak.

They were Giants and in an instant.

Faith disappeared and fear moved into their minds,

and so they forgot, but I didn't.

I saw what their fear obscured,

I saw because I know what I know

that He that brought us to it will give it to us if we only believed

because He has promised and is faithful.

I know what I know, and so I live it.

But like a disease what they perceived spread through the camp

until it stank with fear

I tried to give them hope and remind them of His promises

but faithless eyes cannot see His glory.

Moses and Aaron fell facedown

Joshua and I tore our robes in anguish

so boldly Unbelief took up rocks to stone us

to silence His words on our lips and flip leadership

He [Yahweh] spoke condemning their doubt

"Fear is your leader and so I concede
I will no longer try and force my glory into your situation

You believe that they are stronger, so be it

You believe that you will die in the wilderness, so be it

every last one of you, one year for each day you denied my glory you will wander.

But Caleb has a different spirit and so I will bring him back to inherit this land."

He [Yahweh] called me by name.

Caleb.

No longer a foreigner

I'm now called and chosen.

A prince with an inheritance

all because I know what I know, and live it.

40 years have gone by since that day

but i remember it like yesterday.

So I say,

Give me this mountain

Give me this task, this obstacle

this unconquered land inhabited by giants

so that those chosen and called by His name from this day will live out their destiny with pride.

Head held high, they will forge on into the unknown because of their relationship with the Known God.

So they will know that 40 years after the fact, what He says will be, will be.

Regardless of my aging muscles and weathered palms,

I have no qualms because He will, because He is

and so I go this day.

Because I know what I know and I live it.

Will you?

Anniversary Day

2010-10-01T17:35:00.003-05:00

150 years ago in a lil' town in Michigan,

Christian pioneers gathered together to label their movement.

They chose the name

Seventh Day Adventist Christians

Christians: followers of Christ who believe Jesus was and IS the Son of God.

Adventists: living in expectancy of the 2nd advent of Christ

Day: each day striving to share the light we have received as we profess our creation which occurred in days not millenniums

Seventh: remembering, living and proclaiming all the truth not just the comfortable parts

...

It's a new month

October

Something happened yesterday that might have a huge impact on my life.

A friend shared this verse

and it is my new promise to claim

So this is a shout out to all my fellow SDAC may God continue to use you to further His will

But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you.
1 Peter 5:10

So embrace this promise as you walk CONFIDENTLY into the last quarter of this year.

...

Today marks the 50th celebration of Nigeria's independence.

50 years

Still together

I have to admit that most years I shun this celebration because it seem ridiculous given the current state of affairs.

But today

i think

50 years and we are still together.

There has to be something good to come out of all this strife.

So yeah, today I celebrate my country.

Enjoy this video

In short: Questioning

2010-09-29T19:50:00.002-05:00

There are three things that today need to be mentioned,
nay, four that cause me to question.

Why do prideful men always end up as self-serving ministers intent on giving Christianity a bad name?
Why is more planning given to the wedding date and not the foundation of the marriage?
Why does the American Dream more often than not end up being a curse?
Why does the process of settling in make one more unsettled?

KemiPsalm 1

2010-09-22T17:55:00.000-05:00

Lord I am overwhelmed.

Fear erodes my mind, like a tsunami,

sweeping away all your promises,

leaving shattered hopes behind.

Blind, i grope around in darkness,

So please shine your light and show a path.

Reveal Your will to mii.

Provide a way out of this mess that causes distress.

Please Father have pity on my soul,
and make mii whole.

Bless mii or kill mii

Bless me or release mii from this torment

because I don't know how much more I can take.

Peace eludes my grasp and so Insomnia

gives an embrace that chills the night's air.

Here I am Lord on my knees before You.

Perfect that which concerns mii.

Lord do not put me to shame

Let those around me not belive you have forsaken me

Please Lord come to my rescue and deliver mii
Here I will sit giving praise to Your name

because you have called mii

You have chosen mii

and in time you will bless mii.

As I wait give mii peace to rest in your promises

Lord let my waiting not be in vain.

Amen.

Thank God I'm NOT Fat [Sabbath Series 22]

2010-09-18T09:18:00.000-05:00

Thank God I'm NOT Fat.
What if God allowed you to be placed on contraceptive that messed up your hormones and you gained weight?
Thank God I'm NOT Broke.
What if God allowed all your savings to be schemed off in a Ponzi scheme?
Thank God I'm NOT Jobless.
What if God allowed your company to be bought out by the government and you subsequently laid off?
Thank God I'm NOT Homeless.
What if God allowed your home to burn down and the insurance and mortgage company screwed you over?
Thank God I'm NOT Single.
What if God decided that your spouse had fulfilled his mission on earth and dying was the next step?
Thank God I'm not SICK
What if God allowed your cells to turn against you and you contract a rare disease?
Thank God I'm NOT living in a war torn country
What if God allowed the military to stage a bloody Coup in your country?
Thank God I'm NOT a sex slave
What if God allowed you to be raped repeatedly by the UN officers charged with keeping the peace?
Thank God I'm NOT ____
What if God allowed ____ to happen?

What then?

I woke up with pain in my jaw, took my painkillers, and right before I jumped into the shower I thanked God I wasn't fat and then the otherside of me said WHAT IF and i spent the next 30 minutes in the shower being taught a lesson by God.
I'm late for church
So let me wrap this up.

COMPARISONS.
~~We spend~~ I spend a lot of brain time trying to feel better by telling myself that there is someone out there in a worse condition. The problem with this line of self medication is that there is always someone in a better condition.

We should be joyful just because He loves us, not because we are better off than another person.
I realize that 65% of the my depressed thoughts come because I believe those around me are more blessed.
He is trying to get us to realize that regardless of the situation of those around us, this is personal and about our relationship with Him, NOT in reference to another persons' relationship

I'm not saying this right,
Let me try again
There are two lessons in this Not-Fat-Shower-Story
1. Regardless of your situation you should thank God
2. Stop comparing, it only brings grief, because there will always be someone you believe is better off than you.
okay 3
You need to get to a point where it is 100% personal. Your relationship to Christ shouldn't be in judged on the fervency or passivity of another Christian

Now I'm officially late
Have a blessed day
y'all

forgive the typos
my CSO is honking

Using you

2010-09-15T21:12:00.000-05:00

He loves mii.
The real mii.
He did not choose me to use mii.
He chose mii not because I could increase his social standing or money bags.
He didn't choose me for my abilities in the kitchen or bedroom.
He LOVES mii.

On another note.

God loves you.

God did not choose you to use you
He chose you not because you could increase the number of people in His church or the size of it.
He didn't choose you for your abilities in the kitchen or the church boardroom.
He LOVES you.

Meditate on this.
Because if the only connection you have with God is the work you do for Him

There is a problem.

God is like a husband, he didn’t marry you because of the food you can cook, or the bed you can make.
He married you because he wants a relationship with You. Not one primarily based on your service but one steeped in your desire to listen to His will and surrender your life to Him.

Service is easy

Surrender is ...

please pray for me oooo
i'm in soo much pain right now. It's been 8 days since i removed my wisdom teeth and now i have been told by my dentist that i have a complication called dry socket. Which is basically hell on earth in your mouth. I have a friend's wedding this weekend so I need a major physical breakthrough as soon as possible. So please pray for me.

Wisdom in my Teeth

2010-09-08T21:27:00.001-05:00

Excruciating pain courses through my veins
it can't be explained and yet I'm told to quantify it.
I'm told to affix a number on a scale of one to ten,
but when will this torture end?
How can it be quantified when I've forgotten the familiar;

the simple ability to chew has been replaced by torturous movements of my jaw.

So i sit and pop painkillers like peppermints
in an effort however feeble to stem the tide.
There is no end in sight and so i sit and bemoan my misery,
singing, talking, laughing are all memories of the past
oh will i ever use my jaw to speak words of life
instead of moan and groan each response.

How could the dentist do this to me,

oh wait, she isn't a dentist but a

oral and maxillofacial surgeon.

Surgeon my foot, more like a

19th century confederate general

letting off cannon in my mouth.

What would she know about my jaw,

and the structure of the individual bones that are my teeth.
What insight can she possibly shed about impacted infected molars that cause pain.
She is evil, how could she pretend to care,
all is wanted was my money,
all she wanted to do was inflict this pain so she could see me squirm and cry.
Psychopathic lady masquerading as a doctor.

auuuughhhhh

...
Right now I'm in alot of pain so i can't make this rhyme or be deep about this.
For the last 7 years on and off my wisdom teeth have given me problems, pain that always appears at the most inopportune time. In the last year it has gotten more severe and frequent so I made an appointment, rescheduled once (out of fear) and finally got them extracted yesterday.

Wierd but I sometimes treat God the way I rant and rave against my dentist. I sometimes convince myself when I'm in extreme pain that He is not all loving and is instead hell bent on causing me misery.
I forget about all of those countless hours that I prayed for relief and asked him to cleanse me. I conveniently suffer from selective amnesia to the point that I blame Him for my misery instead of thank Him (my dentist) for causing temporal pain (extracting my wisdom teeth) that will forever remove the eternal (7 years and counting permanent) one.

I forgot that the afflictions of this present time are temporal and are actually working for me a exceeding weight of glory that I can't see or imagine. Hmm Paul says it better in his second letter to the church in Corinth

¹⁶ Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. ¹⁷ For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, ¹⁸ while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.

So yeah even though right now I'm in pain I am thanking my dentist for this temporal pain that will put an end to my suffering. I am thanking my Lord and God for putting me in situations of pain that help purify and cleanse my character. For each situation of pain that brings peace and patience I thank God. For each situation of pain that removes another layer of pride that I possess I pause and say thank You God.
cuz most times
i forget and whine

back to the vicodin
later

Sabbath Series: 21 - Sex and the Sabbath

2010-09-04T01:11:00.022-05:00

This is an abbreviated version of an article I wrote earlier this week.
To read the article in its entirety visit
http://adventistya.com/2010/09/03/sex-and-the-sabbath/

Once upon a time God said let there be light and during that same week He said let us make man in our image and they did, and he told the man and the woman be fruitful and multiply. The following day He decided to rest.

So Connection #1: Sex and the Sabbath were both created by God in the Garden of Eden.

Now let’s go a little bit further into why. Why did God create sex? Sex was created for a two-fold purpose the first is for procreation and the second for intimacy. Gen. 1:28 says “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it” that is the procreation angle.

Have you ever wondered why God made sex pleasurable and not boring? “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed” (24 – 25). Sex is an integral part of marriage, God in his wisdom created body parts that mesh and fit so well that two become one and this isn’t just physically this verse hints at an emotional intimacy, an emotional connection.

Why did God create the Sabbath?
Does God get tired? No. He does not. So why does Gen 2: 1 -3 says that he rested from his work. Could it be that God rested on the Sabbath as a template for man? Here’s how I envision it, the Trinity is chilling up in heaven by the sea of glass and God the Father says let’s make man in our image and then after 5 days of speaking things into existence He forms man with His hand and puts a bowtie on creation by spending the 7th day just chilling and bonding with man. Focusing on our relationship with Him, he does this all in an effort to foster intimacy between man and God. Check out Exodus 20: 8 – 12 and Isa. 58: 13 – 14, it’s about relationship pure and simple.

Connection #2: Sex and the Sabbath were created by God to enhance relationships.

Unfortunately for us, Eve ate the fruit, sin moved in and all that was pure became corrupted. Sex which was previously an expression of true love, used to enhance the relationship with a couple was distorted. Adultery, incest, masturbation, homosexuality are all distortions of this gift that predate our technological advances such as porn and are in scripture (Gen. 19:5, 36; Rom. 1: 26 – 27). The Sabbath a gift from God was forgotten and replaced to suit the needs of man. Its purpose watered down and diluted to the point that the Creator’s intention is obscured by the devil.

Connection #3: Both have been distorted and now are being used by the devil to destroy our earthly and heavenly relationships.

What blows my mind is that the church is now complicit in this deception. Our response to the devil’s misrepresentation is secrecy. In an attempt to appear pure and holy we lock sex in a box and feed our children cookie cutter answers.

We dress the Sabbath the same way; we throw out names like Constantine and dates like 324 A.D. without sharing with our friends and children the immense joy of just chilling with God for a full 24 hours. This gift from God we pound into their heads with a list of dos and don’ts, we legislate what can and can’t be done on the Sabbath instead of focusing on the relationship we are suppose to have with our Creator. Our friends don’t get it because we either wear it as a badge of privilege reserved for the elect, or a burden or a item on our checklist to ensure we reach heaven.

Connection #4: Misrepresented by church

Sex done right is about honesty and freedom. Not backseats of cars, or dimly lit motel rooms. It is definitely not about broken condoms or morning after pills. It isn’t about seductive perfume or suggestive clothing. It is about being naked and unashamed with your spouse.

Sabbath done right is about honesty and freedom. Not two hour church services with frowns on our faces or looking over our shoulders when we stop to buy gas. It isn’t defined by the clothes we choose to wear to elicit a response from fellow believers about our status or class; it isn’t about the fake smiles on our faces plastered to portray a peace we don’t truly feel. It is about being spiritually naked and unashamed in front of God who loves us beyond what you can imagine.

Connection #5: It’s about honesty and freedom.

Sex done right isn’t a one night stand. It needs foreplay that begins when you wash the dishes in the sink and take out the trash. It starts with flowers when she least expects it and grows with 2 a.m. discussions about your fears. It’s about commitment.

Enjoying the Sabbath isn’t a one day stand either, it doesn’t begin when the sun sets on Friday. That’s just the cherry on the cake. A good Sabbath starts on Sunday during your personal devotions and continues all through the week as you make a choice to surrender to His will.

Connection #6: It’s about commitment

So wake up, embrace God's true meaning for this day and also for sex because they were both created by God to draw us closer to each other and ultimately to Him.

Sexy

2010-09-01T20:09:00.005-05:00

Hot and steamy
Like an aphrodisiac scent
you make my heart beat faster
With just one word
I look at your lips,
lick mine, in anticipation of when yours will part
and fill the silence because my mind tries and fails to imagine the reality.
This fantasy is brief
I want vivid and explosively titillating.

I want to experience it all
Immerse my senses in what you have to offer
Spend each second of the next minute
Getting closer
Heart to heart

To connect
Drawn in as one
without fear
we will fly and reach a climatic intimacy

Pulse racing
I catch my breath
You lean in
I look up

and

Finally you speak
I breathe
It's hot
so hot
The truth is hot because
An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips Prov 24:26

New and Emerging

2010-09-01T19:51:00.000-05:00

This is a PSA.
New Christian music and books.
So many new books and music to check out.
I feel guilty that I only share a song or two here or there when in reality Christian Lit and music is blood in my spiritual veins. So this is short list that touches the heart. So feel free to check them out.

1. Chris Tomlin: "Expectation" He is the reason for this post, right now his new single "I Will Follow" off of his Expectation album that drops November 16 is wonderful. Chris takes a break from his usual praise and worship sub genre and rocks it out with this song. So please go to iTunes and get this song ASAP.

2. Revive: "Blink" This single has soo much groove that I just bop my head to the beat and sing out the words at the top of my lungs.

3. FFH is back and it is beyond words. 5 or so years ago they dropped out of circulation and moved to South Africa. During this time they had another kid and Jeremy (lead singer) was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. This album Wide Open Spaces is closer to heart than most. This is What it Feels Like, Undone, Stop the Bleeding just to name a few

How much farther must I go ‘til you to say that I’m broken?
How much heartache must I know for you to say, ‘Enough’s enough.

These are Jeremy's words but my thoughts.
Whew, I wish I had a job so i could pick it up today but alas I must wait.

4. Jeremy Camp: "We Cry Out" Christian Soft Rock hasn't been the same since Jeremy hit the scene about a decade ago, his latest album, A worship project brings tears to my eyes

5. Israel Houghton: "Love God Love People" I used to love Israel when he was hard core praise and worship but now he has this whole urban Christian thingy he is doing. I have the Power of One album but I only listen to 3 tracks regularly from it. So I'm London Sessions album "Love God Love People" that dropped yesterday and I'm hearing "You won't let go of me, " on the You Hold My World track and now I'm sold. Welcome back Israel I missed you :). Now I'm listening to the track Hosanna and wow God is good.

6. Gaither Vocal Band: Greatly Blessed, Better Day. Southern Gospel at its best. I don't think I need to say more, you have all star vocals, with David Phelps tearing up the upper registers and Micheal English holding the center, throw in Bill and Mark and lil' boy Wes and it is almost angelic. I'm going to see them in concert in 30 days and yeah I can hardly wait.

7.Wess Morgan: I Choose to Worship. Never heard of this guy until yesterday and now it's like hmmm, cool. Listen to him before you look at this picture and try and place the voice. You can't, it's beautiful, the blend. Ahh okay I'll stop with the music now.
This is a link to listen to the song via his website
http://www.wessmorgan.com/Jukebox/jukebox.html

8. Mary Beth Chapman: "Choosing to See" When Steven Curtis Chapman lost his daughter we all gasped and wondered how God could allow such a tragedy to hit their family. When Steven brought out his album earlier this year I was blown away and realized that his pain put into words is a gift that has illuminated my path and now his wife Beth brings puts to words her struggle over the last two years. If you are in pain, know someone who is in pain check this book out ASAP

9. Max Lucado: "Out Live Your Life" I love Max, i've read all his books and this new one has me thingy about how being a Christian has to be contagious to the point where we speak less and pray more and it just oozes off of us with love. I dunno if this is possible but Max is back and I'm adding this to my public library reads

10. Stormie Omartian: My manfriend got me a book by this lady for graduation and since May I have bought 3 of her books to gift to others and read 2. Seriously she is a must read. My current read is "Just Enough Light for the Step I'm On: Trusting God in Tough Times". She also has a Praying series that you can check out, Power of a Praying WOman, Power of Praying for your Adult Children etc

okay I think i'm done for a while

An Unfamiliar look at a familar guy

2010-08-25T22:52:00.004-05:00

Once upon a time there was a man named Abram. The Lord spoke to him and said“Get out of your country, from your family and from your father’s house, to a land that I will show you. I will make you a great nation; I will bless you and make your name great; and you shall be a blessing." (Gen 12: 1 -2). So Abram thought about it, decided that the Lord had some strong points but leaving behind his whole family would be a stretch and so Abram took Sarai his wife and Lot his brother’s son ,... (Gen 12:5)

On his journey south he hit popular spots like Bethel and Ai and then there was famine and he ended up in Egypt. Now Sarai is PHAT (physically hot and tempting) and Abram knew that even though the Lord told him to move, the Lord wouldn't really be able to protect his wife or provide for him so he decided that pimping his wife would be more financially beneficial and so he said to Sarai "So please tell them you are my sister. Then they will spare my life and treat me well because of their interest in you.”(Gen 12: 13 NLT)

And sure enough, Abram's plan worked and "When the palace officials saw her, they sang her praises to Pharaoh, their king, and Sarai was taken into his palace. Then Pharaoh gave Abram many gifts because of her—sheep, goats, cattle, male and female donkeys, male and female servants, and camels. (Gen. 12:15-16 NLT)

Unfortunately nothing lasts forever and Abram's half truth was found out and then they were all kicked out of Egypt. To add insult to injury, Lot's servants and Abram's servants started quarreling because there wasn't enough grass for all the animals to feed on. Lot took the better portion of the land and Abram was let in the sticks. A couple of years later Abram had to prepare for war and go and rescue Lot from some shady kings from the East. After the battle was won, does his ungrateful nephew thank him? No. He moves into Sodom and Gomorrah. whew (if only he had listened to the Lord and left Lot behind maybe he wouldn't have had to deal with this in the first place).

Anywayz life settles back down to semi-normal, the Lord makes a covenant with Abram about kids and descendants, but Sarai is fixated on this new technique that trumps invitro-fertilization. Abram thought once more about the Lord's promise, realized that Sarai's servant Hagar would help speed things up so he pops a viagra pill and get's busy with Hagar.

13 years later, the Lord speaks to Abram, actually He appears to him, changes his name to Abraham, promises a child to post menopausal Sarah (also renamed) and blesses him. Lot pops back into the picture and Abraham intercedes for the townspeople of Sodom and G . Unfortunately Abraham sucks at bargaining, didn't go low enough and so Sodom and G is burnt to the ground.

Lot's family flees, his wife forgot her Jimmy Choo's shoes turns around turns into salt. His daughters wanted kids, got their father drunk and slept with him. Incest, whew (if only Abraham had followed the Lord we might have been spared this mess with the Ammonites and the Moabites (Lot's children/grandchildren) that became a constant torn in the side of the Isrealities)

If only

Anywayz, Abraham traumatized by all this mess, moves to Gerar, pimps his wife AGAIN to King Abimelech. He was found out AGAIN, of course and then he turns around and blesses Abimelech.
He moves again, Sarah gives birth to Isaac, he banishes Hagar and Ishmeal (his viagra child) and lives happily ever after???

RIGHT
WRONG

You see Abraham, like me, still doesn't get it. He likes to have a back-up plan. He likes to help God be God and so " ... it came to pass after these things, that God did tempt Abraham, and said unto him, Abraham: and he said, Behold, here I am." (Gen. 22: 1 KJV)

The Lord said, take your ONLY son and go chop off his head.
Abraham woke up the next morning and took his ONLY son, without telling his interfering beautiful wife Sarah what really was going down, and headed for Mount Moriah.

Isaac thinks his father doesn't have it all together, so respectfully he inquires about the sheep for the sacrifice.
This is the perfect opportunity for Abraham to pause, agree with Isaac about the insanity of this quest and turn around.
This is usually the time Abraham pulls out his hat a lamb or some other back up plan to assist the Lord but surprisingly enough he finally gets it and says "son, God will provide for Himself the lamb for a burnt offering.” (Gen 22:8)

He finally gets it

and we know how the story ends

how Abraham lives happily

but here is another unfamiliar part we gloss over
(Gen 22:11 MSG) Just then an angel of God called to him out of Heaven, "Abraham! Abraham!" "Yes, I'm listening."

what would have happened if Abraham wasn't listening?
what would have happened if Abraham was too ticked off at God to listen to him that day?
what would have happened if the last thing Abraham heard from the Lord was that he should ~~kill~~ sacrifice his son?

Abraham would have killed Isaac and believed he was following the will of God
wow

so in conclusion
back up plans are wonderful for your peace of mind but always back fire when God is concerned
Faith is easy and cool when you have a back up plan.
Faith is hard and involves total surrender when you don't have one.
Listening is crucial at every point, every single point in your walk with God.

goodnight y'all

unless otherwise noted the translation is NKJV

161.2 pounds and counting

2010-08-18T20:59:00.001-05:00

I gained weight.
Wait, I didn't gain it,
it's not a gain it's a curse forced upon me
by the powers that be see they kept me awake
a meeting with Cheesecake at 2 a.m.

and another with Milkshake at 2 p.m.

I thought they just wanted to chill goodwill i thought was offered to
help fill the gap that was created when Academics walked out on me.
But here I am now.
Sitting, and getting intimately acquainted with this extra ten
It wasn't sudden
It wasn't drastic
It was slow and beautiful.
Like swaying in the moonlight to a familiar tune
My sister was oblivious and my mother said I never looked better
but here I am
161.2 pounds and counting

All it took was 30 days
it started with clandestine meetings at midnight

then the opposition got bolder and made contact in daylight

Salad was forced out and Pizza quietly moved in
Taking up residence in my intestines
Fries took it's time and now whole wheat bread is stuck in the toolshed
only remembered in desperate times with digestion gets rough

Enough
here I am

My jeans no longer fit
my beautiful grey outfit now sits high on my thighs

my sister and friends now magically sees the difference
and comment on my waist
but what a waste the warning comes to late
for here I am
161.2 pounds and counting.

Each time I climb up the stairs I am made aware by the pace of my heart
I thought I was smart but I played the part unaware that each choice,
each slippery delicious fry that i didn't deny has now contributed to the new size of my thighs.

So now each day I get up and try
Old friends I avoided I now seek daily
Miss. Treadmill, Dr. Elliptical and Mr. Free weights
Luckily for me they took me back willingly
The road is tough, and progress has been slow
but as I slip down to 159.8 I breathe a sigh of relief

I will get there, I will get there somehow
It will take more than a month but each day I'll stay the course
sniffle sniffle
If only I knew then what I know now. It is easier to gain a pound than it is to lose one.

I see the parallel and hopefully you do to.
continual compromise coupled with secrecy
leads you down a path of sin and hopefully you awake before you reach the gates of hell.
Hopefully the weight of your sin jars you back to reality and you seek His face
Hopefully the unbuttonable spiritual jeans help you realize that it is slow and it is sweet and the road is wide that leads to spiritual obesity

C.S. summed it up in Screwtape Letters

The safest road to hell is the gradual one - the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts.

HELP MY CHURCH IS KEEPING ME SINGLE

2010-08-11T22:15:00.000-05:00

Great minds discuss ideas,
average minds discuss events,
small minds discuss people ---- Eleanor Rooservelt

So let's talk

http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/08/10/black.church.women.single/index.html

Here are some quotes from the video and article if you don't have the time to watch/read it

The church shouldn't be the place where you are coming to find a man.

Do I think that all men that go to church are good men. NO ABSOLUTELY NOT!

"If their strategy for meeting men is failing, Cooper offers two suggestions: Find another church or leave-and go where the boys go: tailgates, bars and clubs."

One of biggest reasons black women are single, Cooper says, is because of a lack of black men in the church. According to the PEW study, "African-American men are significantly more likely than women to be unaffiliated with any religion (16 percent vs. 9 percent). Nearly one-in-five men say they have no formal religious affiliation."

Watkins believes the social structure of the church keeps black men from attending. "Those appealing, high-testosterone guys have a hard time getting into the 'Follow the leader, give me your money, and listen to what I have to say' attitude."

"Many of us have a difficult time submitting to the pastor who is just another man."

So have at it

Do you think the church structure provides a negative environment that men cannot thrive in?

Men in the church, can they be trusted?

What are your thoughts when you think of the amount of time women spend trying to get dressed for church and look good, do you question their motives?

What are your thoughts in general about this article?

Laterzzzzzzzz

Deepest Fears: II, III and IV

2010-08-04T20:42:00.003-05:00

Suppressing joy
Stifling all laughter

Stretching trivialities
Smothering all the tears
Stressing suicidal thoughts
Straining the drops of delight
Substituting reality with fantasy
Seducing slowly the heart and mind
Sustaining the lies that tear my soul apart
Sapping the remaining strength from my core

Over three years ago I wrote those words in a series on fear.
Untitled 1
Untitled 2
Deepest Fears: 1

This month I find myself re-reading Max Lucado's book Fearless, because I'm back in that yucky place.
Maybe it's worse or maybe it's just different

but for some reason i'm back in prison

a slave of my own imagination

strapped 6 feet under in a coffin of my creation
i am warden and prisoner

enforcer and victim

and i can't shake it.

Deepest Fear #2
I can't do this much longer

This believing that He can and He doesn't

Hoping and dreaming and planning and depending and only getting silence in return

So i fear that the moment I give up is 2 seconds before he works a miracle

but i fail to recieve it because i just can't wait

Deepest Fear #3
I deluded myself
Good stuff doesn't just happen because you pray and you follow His will
maybe I am suppose to cut corners to succeed in order to be with the man I Love

maybe my definition of following His will is too strict and needs to be diluted a bit

So I fear that after all this right living I end up spending my life here alone.

Oh, of course I'm assured heaven because He is all that to me but for the x amount of years that I'm stuck on earth I'm miserable

Deepest Fear #4

Not only different chapters but different books
I want X and He is determined to give me A

and so I spend ANOTHER 5 YEARS in pain because what I want differs and HE DOESN'T SPEAK ENGLISH and so I'm left wondering and wandering

tip toeing thru' life
never being sure

dude
I think I'm getting ready to quit

cuz I know He loves me, but then His idea of love is my idea of pain

and I never know what His will is anyway so why should I stress it

I mean there is grace

and it covers all

so live life without these fears

and chase after what i want

break any rule that needs to be broken

the silence, the not knowing, the Will of the One that doesn't speak English

what's the point

in conclusion

Fear is a dangerous taskmaster
the progression is slippery
Mercy
Christ gave roughly 120 commands in the New Testament

and Fear Not or a derivative appear over 20 times

second place goes to "Love God and love others"... and it only appears 8 times

so yeah 

Fear NOT
not exactly sure how this is suppose to work cuz i'm crippled by fear but yeah I'll get back to you on that

forgive my playlist
I have been on the Gaither addiction for the last two weeks not sure when it is going to end, cuz there is something about the old songs that just ....

More than a Conqueror Prologue

2010-07-28T21:30:00.004-05:00

A conqueror is one who derives satisfaction from the spoils of war.
Poor?
Never, a conqueror is defined by battles won and conquests earned.
Turn and take a look to your left, there he stands undefeated.
Chest out, smiling as they recount his acts of greatness.
But you, you are more.

Look deeply and one will see that conquerors allow situations to define them but you instead find strength in the knowledge of your worth.

You are much more.

Much more than the titles affixed by man
Or the labels given by society.
More than the disease that riddles your body
You are much more,
More than the degrees earned in the academic halls of this land
Or the money stored up by man to insure against the unplanned.

You are more than your past attempts at victory
Much more than the bruises that mark each fall
More than the stares and jeers.

You are more than size of your jeans or your parents’ biological genes that convened to physically fit you
Catch a clue and see that you are not defined by status, but by a calmness that the world envies.
You are much more,
More than the acquired cars, houses and electronic toys.

Boys without a clue of their origin,
You are more than the evolutionary school of thought that claims you descend from apes.
You are much more than the pessimistic school of thought that sees every opportunity as a waiting failure.
You are much, much more than the narcissistic school of thought that seeks to elevate self at the expense of a friend.

You are more than his unbridled passion that seeks to conquer
Bruised but not broken, you are Love, Mercy, Peace, Kindness
Hope, Joy, Truth, Happiness
You are more

You are so much more.
You are more than a conqueror
You are more than all conquerors

cuz "Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us." Romans 8:37

...
This is for two women that I admire.
Today one walked in the rain to take the BAR exam and the other cried for a dream lost to a partner’s indiscretion.
This is part 1, hopefully i will get the conclusion out before my wisdom tooth drives mii insane

Water Speaks: Evolution + Choice = Homosexuality

2010-07-21T23:06:00.001-05:00

6 hours shopping
I am now tired.Got home around 7:30pm
Asked my mom if she wanted water and she said "Yes please"
I got up, dragged my lazy self to the kitchen (4 feet away)
went to the dishwater and pulled out a cup.

Turned around to the water dispenser and pushed down on the button.
Filled the cup with water.
Walked the 4 feet back to the living room
and

BAM
it hits mii.
Water
how was it created???
two molecules of a gas named hydrogen
met up with one molecule of another swanky gas named oxygen
and it became a liquid
gas+gas = liquid ???
hmmmm
so how was hydrogen created and why do we need two molecules
and dude where did oxygen come from?

yet somehow I'm suppose to believe that I've evolved over the millions of centuries from an ant.

Why is it that the "smartest" of humanity choose to believe that water and everything else was just a flux done right.

Paul in his letter to the church in Rome uses these words to sum it all up

But God's angry displeasure erupts as acts of human mistrust and wrongdoing and lying accumulate, as people try to put a shroud over truth. But the basic reality of God is plain enough. Open your eyes and there it is! By taking a long and thoughtful look at what God has created, people have always been able to see what their eyes as such can't see: eternal power, for instance, and the mystery of his divine being. So nobody has a good excuse. What happened was this: People knew God perfectly well, but when they didn't treat him like God, refusing to worship him, they trivialized themselves into silliness and confusion so that there was neither sense nor direction left in their lives. They pretended to know it all, but were illiterate regarding life. They traded the glory of God who holds the whole world in his hands for cheap figurines you can buy at any roadside stand.

Water is a mystery, I take it for granted but the creation of liquid from gas .... without prior knowledge .....
WOW God is beyond my mind can comprehend. and yet has grace enough to place the evidence right here in front of me. Thank You Father

okay I have to admit that this was as deep as the thought went because I was tired and my feet hurt and I needed to find food to eat. But now as I sit and try and make my self-imposed midnight deadline my thoughts go deeper

Paul continues and says

So God said, in effect, "If that's what you want, that's what you get." It wasn't long before they were living in a pigpen, smeared with filth, filthy inside and out. And all this because they traded the true God for a fake god, and worshiped the god they made instead of the God who made them—the God we bless, the God who blesses us. Oh, yes!
Worse followed. Refusing to know God, they soon didn't know how to be human either—women didn't know how to be women, men didn't know how to be men. Sexually confused, they abused and defiled one another, women with women, men with men—all lust, no love. And then they paid for it, oh, how they paid for it—emptied of God and love, godless and loveless wretches.

We chose this mess, homosexuality is just a manifestation of the depravity of the soul of man. I am not saying every homosexual is depraved but the urges themselves defy our intended created purpose. The farther we stray from our creator the more we misconstrue and misuse our bodies.

Can I take it one step further and go out on a ledge and say that the distance between us and our Creator is made evident in the way we treat humanity. It isn't just about sexuality but extends to basic courtesy and the recognition that we are created by a Wonderful Maker.

check out the last 4 verses and then draw your own conclusions i'm out cuz my feet STILL hurt and i need more H₂O in my system.

...
the bible text italicized above is taken from Romans chapter 1 verses 18 - 27 Message Translation

35 seconds

2010-07-14T23:04:00.012-05:00

Your met him and it was .....
he tried to capture the day by putting you in a google search

this is what he came up with.

You met her and it was .....

you tried to capture the day by putting her in a google search

this is what you came up with.

They will know we are Christians by our love.

The mystery of Salvation is the grace of God yet somehow we find ourselves legislating change by listing rules.

Humble Christian???
some might say this is an oxymoron because most Christians are self righteous and determined to show the world that they are right

How many times have you tried to share Christ by enumerating the sins of the hearer?
With a condemning finger we try and win souls by scaring them from hell into heaven.

i admit
i'm guilty
i oscillate between the two videos,
some people might characterize mii by either one of them

so yeah
think about your life's portrait
not in an attempt to mask your true self with good actions and correct words
but instead to remind you of His grace and hopefully the next time you are put in a situation you would radiate His love first and foremost

....
My friend created a wedding video with this google technology, I figured this contrast between the two searches would remind mii of the bigger picture.
To create your own visit
http://www.youtube.com/user/SearchStories

Random Thoughts

2010-07-07T23:00:00.002-05:00

Sex and the Sabbath.
When you think of sex in the garden of Eden what crosses your mind?
When you think about the sabbath in the garden of Eden what crosses your mind?

When you think about sex in our 21st century culture what crosses your mind?
How about the sabbath in this day and age?

Do you see the similarities between sex and the sabbath back in Eden
Do you see the similarities between sex and the sabbath in today's culture

The Bible or ...
You either believe it is the inspired word and accept it in all it's entirety or you don't.
So when the Bible says that God created the world in 6 days you can't switch boats and talk about fossils and dinosaurs.

Leave and Cleave
Do you first leave your parents house and then cleave to your husband
Or in the cleaving you leave their umbrella of telling you want to do and forge ahead to make your own decisions.
Or HOW IN THE WORLD IS this suppose to work

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh Gen 2:24

Spain vs. Netherlands
Does it matter to you and Am i suppose to care

...
so my parents are in town visiting and let's just say that when you leave home at age 12 and run into your parents at 26 a billion thoughts and emotions get thrown at you from various directions, so forgive my discombobulating post for today.

Skating Rink Disaster???

2010-06-30T17:52:00.001-05:00

We went roller skating and I was mentally blown away
Today around midday I was forced to stay and weigh much to my dismay the future
Mostly dressed in yellow shirts that portrayed innocence

I watched in silence from a distance and fear found its place in my heart

Let me start with the sweetheart
Void of uniformity she shone like a star
Each sexually suggestive song was interpreted by her body
The sway of her hips, the tilt of her back, her hair even moved with rhythm
and with a freedom her cherry lips mouthed each anthem
Can you see her?

Skin a creamy hue testimony to her mixed heritage

Eyes held a message, undamaged by life and peppered with courage

I AM and I KNOW I AM
barely eight years old and yet she plays the part of seductress perfectly
Main actress, In fairness, I must admit that she is surrounded by countless others
who have made it their sole duty to memorize the lies in an attempt to appear wise

Lyrics that skew the basics redefine their ethics in an indelible manner that isn’t so easy to fix

We indoctrinate them into hell and have them pay three dollars for skates and then hope to someday redeem those which we have trained to gyrate, curse and mimic the cynic who abhors God and elevates self.

I try to scream but my eyes stun my lips into silence
I close the distance hoping that I’ve been deceived but there he sits struggling to stand because the weight of his gut makes it impossible for him to get up.

Setup for disease by cookies and goodies

Two shots away from diabetes

His physical appearance appalling though it may be was a tad bit less frightening,

‘cuz you could see he needed help but there he sat surrounded by a host of others fed cookies of hate, donuts layered in self indulgence and lolli pops dripping with sexual promiscuity
Surely we can’t really believe that what they become comes from trees
and not what they study so diligently.
We expect them to graduate into righteousness, to somehow love a God that we expose them to only once a week.

Then I see him.
Smile the size of texas with curly hair and black eyes he falls down, smiles and then gets up.

Takes a turn around the rink back to where I am, falls once again, smiles and gets back up again,

each fall is meet with a determination to learn,

Learn what?
if only we would realize that these years are golden and take the time to instruct them in the ways of the Lord
if only we would be more concerned about what’s in their hearts and not what they desire
if only we asked for help from the One who created them all in His wonderful image
if only we did this and more then maybe he would learn that he has been called and chosen for a purpose and that each fall met with a smile is the only sacrifice required.

If only.

---
My kids are in town from Nigeria and we went to this skating rink, there was a Christian camp also at the rink and watching them prompted this piece. It is really sad and i didn't have the time to cute this up a lot but i hope the message gets across.

Ode to Traffic: Destination or Journey?

2010-06-23T23:08:00.001-05:00

1-10 W to 59N get off onto 45S and then take exit 21 onto Faith Blvd, stay on Faith for 4 miles until you reach destination on your right.
too many traffic lights
1-10 W to 59N get off onto 45S and then take exit 25 onto Compromise Drive go 1.5 miles, turn right onto Faith, destination is at the corner of Compromise and Faith Blvd.
no that won’t either work
I-10 W to 59N get on the loop (610 headed South) and then bypass Faith Blvd. by staying on the feeder arrive at destination in 38 minutes
hmmm i think i like this route

Which do you choose, the fastest route with the least amount of stops that bypasses any interaction or the one that meanders through the streets of the community and is afflicted by the plights of the ordinary. We are conditioned, by technology which is as much of a blessing as it is a curse to always try and choose the fastest, less cumbersome route to get to our destination but the Christian walk is one mired with stops, traffic lights, pedestrians and yielding the right of way.

Like clay, we must go through the process each day to arrive at our destination fashioned in His image. The journey is crucial to reaching the destination, both are equally important. There is a brand of Christianity that markets traffic free trips, void of stop lights, setbacks and road construction. Beware because each shortcut taken to save a minute, to reduce our pain is one more character flaw, one more layer that must be later removed before we arrive at our final destination.

We will never succeed as long as we follow a bunch of rules, a bunch of steps to reach our destination. The road is fraught with detours and accidents that can only be maneuvered through by the One who knows the end from the beginning. The journey is a process of surrender, not knowing how but trusting that He will take you through each valley, each highway until you reach the other side.

Closing thought: The hardest thing is letting go when you believe you are in control. And so He uses disappointments to help us realize that we are stuck in a room blindfolded and the only way we can make it to the door is by first holding on to his hand and THEN taking a step.

Who walks in darkness and has no light?
Let him trust in the name of the Lord and rely upon his God. Isaiah 50:10

Sickle Cell Warriors

2010-06-19T07:34:00.000-05:00

This is a shout out to all the Sickle Cell Warriors out there

As you celebrate this day

remember

You are strong

You are beautiful

You are life fused with hope that conquers pain

You are heart, soul, mind,

and life.

You are resilient, resourceful and resolute
sometimes bruised and tired
but moreover alive
You life speak volumes each day as you strive to make your mark and not cower beneath the weight of this disease.
With ease you celebrate this trait passed down by refusing to wait for doctors to dictate what you can and cannot do
Your scars enhance you true beauty
Sometimes weary, but like the eagle you daily take on battles that might seem futile

Faithful and true that is you

Chronicled by hospital visits and pain medication

Some might want to use this disease to define you but you refute their labels by simple being true to you

You deserve a standing ovation for your tireless struggle.

And so I pause.
I pause on this day of rest to say,

You are beautiful each day that you choose to see the sunrise as a blessing,
You are courageous for each crisis that you refuse to let conquer your indomitable spirit,
You are resilient and resourceful for juggling jobs, families, sickness, checkups, setbacks, pain meds and stereotypes
You are heart, you are spirit
You are mind, you are body
You are life
You are loved
You are beautiful.

and today I thank God for you

Kafo.

...
For more information on the fight of Sickle Cell Warriors check out http://sicklecellwarriors.com/

An Ode to Traffic in 4 or more parts

2010-06-16T23:58:00.000-05:00

Dreams filed away

Trying to keep the tears at bay
On life's highway one is left to wonder
is being stuck in traffic worse than going in circles
engine idles so we grumble unable to accept the temporary delay,
so today, we fail to pray, fall prey instead to misery and doubt.
Grasping at straws, looking for an alternate route we go without Him in search of a bailout
a worthless workout, 'cuz fuel burns, time passes and we are still back where we started, running around in circles.

A man's heart plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps.(Proverbs 16:9)

so get comfortable and embrace the traffic ....

....This is the intro to this traffic thingy that i was suppose to write in March but never got around to it. It might be 3 or 4 parts it still is just thoughts in my brain
but yeah
back in Indy (after 3 years in Houston & California)
G.I.G: God is good!!!!

He Never Promised

2010-06-09T23:44:00.004-05:00

Today i watched Gaither Homecoming Videos. There is something about southern gospel music that soothes my logic-warring-with-hope-mind. And today as I sat down and tried to win this war in my mind I needed to be reminded of the bigger picture conveyed with simplistic tunes carrying heaven inspired words.

The Crabb family has this song that rocks and today after listening to it for the umpteenth time i decided to find the lyrics instead i found this piece below and realized that i had to share it.

The Two-edged promise

He never promised that our cross would not get heavy,
or that the hills would all be easy to climb.
He never promised a life exempt of pain and sorrow,
or that every day the sun was sure to shine.

He never promised to remove all of my heartaches,

or that those I love would never let me down.

He never promised--that I’d be free--from sickness,

or that at times I wouldn’t bear a thorny crown.

He never promised that my friends would all be faithful,
or that every word that’s spoken of me would be kind.
He never promised fame or fortune, or earthly treasures,
or that the rainbow’s pot of gold I’d really find.

He never promised that all my dreams would be fulfilled,

or that every wish upon a star could come true.

He never promised that death would never steal my children,

or that my trials and temptations would be few.

****

He promised never to leave me, nor forsaken would I be.
My debt he paid, erased all sin, from prison set me free.
He promised me a Mansion, a sidewalk paved with gold,
My body changed now glorified, his face my eyes shall see.

He promised my path to brighten, to my feet provide a lamp,

from my afflictions though they be many, sweet deliverance.

He promised that nightly tears, come morning turn to joy,

From Satan’s realm I could escape, into the Lord’s presence.

He promised when in faith I ask, the answer I’ll receive.
When I say, “ mountain be removed,” it jumps into the sea.
He promised my feet, would be removed from the miry clay,
When on the solid rock I stand, he’s there right next to me.

He promised me so many things, not one do I deserve,

So gracious, kind and merciful, I’ll never comprehend,

He promised me eternal life, in his kingdom to abide.

So with my Lord I’ll always be, his kingdom knows no end!

**** John Wark 2010.

Anyways
this is the video that helped started it all today.

Sabbath Series: 20 - Moving Again sniffle sniffle

2010-06-05T23:40:00.003-05:00

I’m moving!!!
I went to church today and in the afternoon I was talking to my kids, I am the chaplain for Pathfinders ( our co-ed Christian based Boy/Girl Scout group for teenagers) and I had to do this little devotion and I just choked up because most of them I will never see again. I cried and as the tears fell I told them to grow up to walk in God’s image and of course they couldn’t comprehend the seriousness of the issue and so they asked when I was returning and I said most of y’all the next time I will see you is in heaven so please make sure you get there ‘cuz it would suck without you and then more tears fell and then I was enveloped in various hugs.

I’m getting on a plane in 10 days and plan to make stops in Indy, Jersey and Oregon,
and only God knows what comes next and i mean that literally
my man is moving out of his apartment and getting a roommate,
my Houston friend is moving back into her parent’s house in Austin for a spell,
my North Carolina sister is also transitioning from med school to bride,

and another friend is skipping town and going to Angola (the country).

And somehow stuck in our mid twenties we are trying to make the most of this situation and it is tough.
For some it means letting go of dreams, for others it is facing reality and re-prioritizing. Others find themselves stuck at the crossroads scared and so they just sit there and hope that someone else will come and make the decision for them. There are a few fortunate souls that are able right now to embrace their dreams and live it out without shame or fear.

What advice do I give myself and all my friends?

Let go jare. It is impossible to receive what God has for you if you are clenching so tightly on to the past. If the past is to be the future then He will reveal it in the present so let go of all the presents that you are convinced represent His presence in your life.

Wow I think I like that.

Forget Jer. 29:11 and embrace Phil. 1:6. The problem with Jeremiah overused promise is that we assume flowers and happy endings but that might be misleading; Paul instead opens his letter to the church in Philippi with these words “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

He will complete the work, not the dream but the work, the work of saving your soul and not padding your bank account.
hmmmmm

Okay I’m going to stop now because I’m still learning and processing this through and need to fully accept it myself before I speak it.

To steal or To ask? That is the question

2010-06-02T23:53:00.019-05:00

Have you ever tried to steal what is rightfully yours?
Have you ever plotted to regain that which belongs to you?

So here is the story.
(can't go into details 'cuz walls have ears and blogs have microphones)
I am going to steal what rightfully belongs to me because I am too weak to actually just ask for it. I have to admit that stealing this item will require me
to

skip a promising conversation,
spend three hours going through tons of papers and files,
memorize the location of at least 100 files,
remember to return the files to their original state,
pretend that I woke up late,
postpone an inevitable confrontation,
spend three hours sweating,
pack enough perfume to conceal the sweat that will occur,
arrive at an “event” pretty late,
sour the day,
and confirm my ineptness in handling sticky social issues.

Or I could just ask for it.
Well actually in my situation I can’t hence the covert operation.

It’s weird, I am going to steal this item just because I shy away from confrontations but while I was plotting my theft I realized that on some level as Christians we do this. We steal what God wants to give us so freely; we plot ways to obtain when all we really have to do is ask for it.
Right now I’m stunned by the simplicity of following Christ.
It’s like dude all you got to do is ask
and yet instead we plot, steal, lie, connive,

In order to obtain peace, find joy, reduce loneliness, relieve anxiety we go to extreme lengths.

Item: Self Esteem Plot: liposuction in a country with cheap medical costs
Item: Happiness Plot: spend money on clothes, shoes, TVs, cars, planes etc
Item: Success Plot: lie on resumes, cheat on exams, marry Americans, lie on paperwork, betray a friend at work, lose our moral compass and …..
and I could go on but I think y’all get it.

When you consider the amount of “work” that you have to put in to try and obtain “the item” seriously at some point you just might have to ask yourself if Asking God wouldn't be a whole lot easier.

But yeah wish mii luck that I don’t get caught ooooooooooooooooooo

oh in other news I finally made a facebook fan page
so you can like it on Facebook if you like it.
LOL
the link is the side bar.

Limits or Boundaries

2010-05-26T23:54:00.007-05:00

Too many thoughts are running through my mind
Futile it seems to focus on one and write and so
....

At what point do we realize that we are inherently evil

Does it come before or after we annihilate every other creature in an attempt to satiate our desires?

At what point does hope give way to reality.

Does it happen before or after your dreams make a mockery out of your sanity?

At what point does being American conflict with being a Christian

Does it happen when tolerance contradicts the truth or when prosperity obscures peace?

At what point do you divorce your family

Does it happen before or after your misery brings them joy?

At what point do you decide to scream in church

Does it happen before mundane ritualistic litany of prayers or does it even happen at all?

At what point do you stop believing that the Sun will shine

Does it happen before or after you fail to see it for a week or a month?

At what point do you stop listening for His voice

Does it happen before or after the silence becomes deafening and begins to scream at you?

At what point do you stop believing that He cares

Does it happen before or after tragedy attacks you from all sides and misery moves in?

At what point do you stop helping a friend in need
Does it happen before or after he leaves you in a ditch and she ignores your cries?

At what point does He stop loving you

Does it happen before or after your sins turn the ocean red

At what point do we stop trusting and believing He loves?
At what point do we decide to take matters into our own hands?
At what point does self preservation trump His divine commandments?

As i said before this is from a very cluttered mind. I started writing something totally different
and now we have this, hmmmm.... It seems everybody has a limit and then they snap
and do something uncharacteristic, unconscionable or even criminal. I don't want
to blame it on the devil and say he is the one that makes us believe that limits
exist so I won't but the fact remains, we all have limits set in our minds.

Christ love is limitless. He forgives each
and every sin we bring with a repentant heart
Each temptation the devil presented He was able to
withstand because there were no limits that could make Him
disobey His Father. His love is like His existence: not bound by time

i have limits
we all have limits

and then ......

His love steps in

End of story

In a league of Crazy People

2010-05-19T23:42:00.003-05:00

Call me crazy but I believe that Jesus can do something
Now more than ever these words strike a chord because here I am in a familiar place of bumnisity (the state of being a bum)

Its been almost three years since I was here at this place of complete scopelessness

(having absolutely no idea what comes next) and so I trip and reluctantly fall into this familiar role where my dreams live in my car told only to my steering wheel because to speak them to another soul would unleash a tide of tears.

So I sit
I sit and wonder about compromise and how it has been camouflaged by family members, pastors and friends as survival and wonder if I’m crazy for rejecting their wise advise.
Each day I’m reminded that I’m in this same situation of bumful scopelessness only because I trusted God and stayed true to His word.

I role out of bed, convinced that I’m insane cuz the sun is barely up and my mind has already done three laps of fear tinged recollection

Then I pause and embrace the craziness

I embrace it cuz I can’t find a league of normal people

David, an untrained civilian, deliverer of cheese and bread, decides to take on Goliath with stones

Noah predicted the end of the world and built a huge bunker-like device (ark) to save people

Zaccheus, a god among Ponzi scammers, returned quadrupled assets to his investors

Daniel decided that spending the night with lions was less scary than not praying

Abraham sold his land and became an illegal immigrant in a foreign country

Moses returned to a country where he was wanted for first-degree murder

Joseph turned down HOT sex with a beautiful lady with connections

Ruth, a widow moved in with her decrepit old poor mother-in-law

Hosea marries and sleeps with a possible STD infected lady

John, towncrier gave up his head to herald his cousin

Paul alerted the cops after he broke out of jail

and the list continues ...

So yeah, I get out of bed and lived the day
now as I type the day is almost over, Sunshine is here and
I don’t know

I really don’t know

Please forget your name

2010-05-12T21:13:00.001-05:00

Forget
forget it all
I beg you to forget my name
Blame your lost memories on the pain
Erase from your brain every moment we spent together
Do this and live.
You are no longer mine
I am dead to you
Choose a new name and embrace it
Do not even dream about the past for your bedtime whispers might betray you
and then they will find mii and return you to mii
I will then sit and watch
I will sit and watch you as you remember us
I will see you beg and I will be powerless to stop your pain
I will sit and then I will watch you die
So please my child, I beg you, please forget our name, forget us all and live.

Four months after the earthquake and life in Haiti is still a struggle
Parents are abandoning their children and telling them that they should pose as orphans in an effort to save their lives. Some are even going as far as telling their children to change their last name so that they won't be traced.
This struck a nerve cuz i come from a culture in which your family name and heritage define you and so to be confronted with a situation in which you force your kids to lie in order that they might live ....

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100509/ap_on_re_la_am_ca/cb_haiti_abandoned_children

so please
don't forget Haiti
let your thoughts give way to action

Providence by why of T.A.

2010-05-05T23:39:00.000-05:00

Last week was horrible, i started crying on Wednesday around 8pmish took a break around 11pm, resumed an hour later and then cried till 2:47 am Thursday morning. I woke up on Thursday with a pounding headache, and the tears started to fall again. I drank some water, cuz i figured i would need it, dragged myself out of bed and went through the day.
I wasn't crying, I will just allowing the tears to fall, and fall they did for the next five days and it was annoying at times but it wasn't a rational cry, a cry that you could point to a specific event or issue. Rational crys can be logically explained this one was just pain, layered and buried that started to stink and needed a way out.

Anywayz, in the middle of my emotional not-breakdown (cuz breakdown is too serious a word, more like minor slip) I had the opportunity to go to this amazing concert. So last wednesday i was looking for lyrics to a song by Todd Agnew and stumbled on his website found out that he was going to be in Houston on Saturday for a FREE concert, and so i went and yeah let's, just say that was the only place I was last week that I felt like I needed to be there. It was honest, small, refreshing and Todd is yeah my vision of a modern-day-David, i hear his songs and I think Psalm 73, ahhh that one is more like Psalm 39 and he started with a Psalm 88 which is a very very very very depressing Psalm song and it was yeah, just beautifully sad.
okay let mii stop gushing and say something wise

UNBELIEVABLE
okay okay okay i'm done

This is the truth: we waste our time trying to be perfect, trying to seem like we have it all together is anti-Christian. Seriously, Paul in his letter to the church in Corinth, says we have this message in earthen vessels so not as to obscure it with our worth and this past Saturday I was blessed because i got to see a man speak and sing from His heart about his walk with God. We do a disservice to God by donning our squeaky clean masks. The church was empty (about 30 people in a place that could fit 350) and yet we all were content to draw closer to God who loves us and wants us to not be the next Oprah or Obama but just who He created us to be. The greatest tragedy would be to spend this whole life trying to be someone else.

I realized that I can't listen to the mindless babble of principles any more. If you can't tell mii how He brought you thru' something then I don't want to hear it, I don't even want to sit in a room and discucss it. Before i could sit and discuss with the best theologians and apologist, now i have lost my appetite for good discussion. Now it's just like "dude, i need peace, patience and wisdom if you are not peddling that shut up and leave mii alone"
and i'm Christian so if i can't stand it why will the person who has never been exposed to Him listen to your exposition that lacks personal content.

Listening to him was fantastic, i was trying to imagine Cute Micheal W. Smith (who i love) or Casting Crowns with the full band in that same church and it would have been a waste for me to have seen them perform on Saturday. I didn't need their squeaky cleanness this week i needed the Save me Lord i'm down in the Lowlands Charlie Peacock wail.
So yeah there is something that you are suppose to do that no one else can do it so please don't waste your time trying to fit in.

One more thing
The Pastor of the church ended the concert by saying "This week sucked" and then he prayed this beautiful prayer and i just wanted to sit there for two more hours and be surrounded by people who were real, hurting, open and hoping in God.

So yeah, if you are Christian, please find a way to be real to the people who know. It isn't the easiest thing on the planet esp. if you are a born breaded and buttered Christian
:( i fail @ it on a regular basis.
If you are not a Christian then please find a real one so that they can introduce you to this Amazing God who loves you.

so enjoy the playlist in the sidebar
youtube is another good source for his music and check out David in Psalm 39, 43, 73, 77 and 139
currently i'm in 39 but 40:1 is also to my liking