Hit my head with a stick



I am dressed in praise, masked by applause
I dwell in others  harmlessly but to you I’m an airborne disease that travels thru their lips to your head
I infect you so easily
So boldly you ingest me without even realizing that I am so deadly
I hide in your accomplishments
Your brilliance is my fragrance
Their vibrancy leads you to believe that I am boss
Justified by their praise,
I set you ablaze and you betray the One who gently urges you to obey
 my weapon of choice is stealth, masquerading as well earned accolades
You got mii bad and have no clue.
Fattening myself on your list of awards
I’ve taken up residence, I am the landlord.
Your heart,  MY home
Your thoughts are in my control
To be apart from me you would cease to exist
And so you enter the list of those who
And so you are confirmed on the list of those who persist to insist that they are His when in actuality you resist His call by allowing me to exist in your heart and so you are lost.

PRIDE

Lives I have touched, places I have been, books I have read or written, songs I have sang.
I am the person that I am.
Beautiful AND accomplished.,
Sermons that I have preached, men that I have dated, clothes I have worn and even people I have baptized
....

Sometimes in the service of God we allow the things we do for God to elevate us.
This is dangerous territory. I believe that pride can only be eradicated with pain, that is the only way that humility can shine in.

Please Lord hit me on my head with a spiritual piece of wood
Somehow it happened
But Lord here I stand
Hit me
Hurt mii if you need to but please humble me because I can’t get past me and all that I THINK I have accomplished


This is the song that inspired the post.
O ri mi wu ooo, E la 'gi mo.
Translation

My head is swollen (I am proud), Hit it with a stick.
being that i don't really speak yoruba the translation is not entirely correct so yeah bear with mii

Big, Bad, n' Crazy.

So i'm preaching speaking to a bunch of college students and these words fall out
HE loves you big, He loves you bad, he loves you crazy enough to send his son to die

...and of course I hadn't planned it but it caught on and by the end of the evening it was stuck in 300 minds.

I get home and i think about it and the following week when speaking to another group of college students it falls out again.
My dad says I need to explain what i mean,
So the following sabbath I did to different group of college students and so here it is

now lets just say anytime i run into a student on campus they repeat it back to mii tsk tsk


A version of the text is below.

He loves you big, He loves you bad, he loves you crazy enough to send his son to die so that one day you could fly but instead you sit there and cry and ask him why.
Let me break it down
He loves you so big that he sat down and created this universe for you to dwell in, he spoke light into existence
planted trees to make each instance you decide to take a stroll special
he placed stars billions of miles away just to illuminate the night’s sky with variety,
deposited thousands of species of fish into the lake just so you could spend a summer’s night gazing at their beauty
that is how big he loves you
He loves you baaaaaaaddddddddddddd
He loves you so so bad that if the devil ever tried to touch one of his anointed, if the devil ever tried to step to you and attack your soul, he would place him in check. WHAT. He loves you that your afflictions are constantly being eclipsed by his glory, that he how badly he loves you
He loves you so so so so so crazy, so crazy that angle Gabriel almost let the words slip from his mouth the moment the Father asked Jesus to step down to save you
To put on the stench of humanity and rewrite man’s sordid history
Yes, the stench of sweat and sin and decaying skin that falls and turns to dust
We stink, but He sent his son to put on this mess just to save yo
I can almost imagine Gabriel words
Father are you sure yo want to send Jesus down there to rescue a bunch of ungrateful being
That are more concerned witht eh size of their wallets thant he depth of their soul
Seriously God they kill each other over petty political squabbles and make blood sacrifices to enrich their coffers .....

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At some point I will write a book about the crazy turns of this thing called life.
The title might be Snippets of madness in a grace filled world
or maybe i should switch the madness and grace around

Pen to Paper


To put pen to paper is to give voice to the madness that lurks in the shadows and that is a crime that my thoughts refuse to allow my tongue to commit and so I linger and wait.
To put pen to paper is to give voice to the uncertainty that dwells in the recesses of my mind and that is a predicament that my thoughts hesitate to allow my tongue to utter and so I linger and wait.
To put pen to paper is to give voice to the dreams that are born out of a hope imprisoned by the reality of this society, shackled deep inside the mind, this prayer,  that my thoughts struggle to allow my tongue to whisper into existence.
To put pen to paper is to pray and so I say
Our Father ...

Faith is

Okay so below is what i tried to post last week but let's just say that in this beautiful country having a modem and paying for internet doesn't necessarily mean you will have connectivity

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Last week Tuesday was the day I decided to resurrect this blog. I got an email from a friend that analyzed her shattered dreams and I was in turmoil. I couldn’t talk to her at that moment because of the time difference (me being in Naija and all) and so I just took a break from work, turned on my recorder and started to talk. This audio is what fell out. This is unedited so I beg your pardon in advance. Yesterday, I listened to it and started transcribing it and tried to clean it up and make it all poetic for this blog. But this blog started about 5 years ago about the unspoken and the original just touches me more than the one that rhymes, and so here it is.
Ummm I’m still trying to edit it and all but I think I’m falling in love with the spoken and not the clean edited things of life.
So …..
We will see.
Below is the transcribed version just in case the audio is muffled. Of course when I was typing it out, I started to add some stuff that wasn’t in the original, tsk tsk kafo
I MISsED YOU GUyS LIKE cRAZY, hi blogville.





How do you define faith
What is faith to you?
What is the first thing that comes to mind when someone says the word faith
When I was a child, faith was the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen
And that meant absolutely nothing to me, but I memorized when I was a kid
Faith was the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen
Hebrews 11:1
Faith was the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen
But in this reality, you have to admit that when you grow up, it is not what you memorize as a kid that gets you through each day but what you have experienced to be true
So let’s take a minute or two to define faith
Faith to me, is not just the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen but it goes deeper
It goes a little bit deeper, because you have to admit that faith is tough.
Someone once said that faith is believing God is true to his word when my feelings are screaming something different
Another said that faith is certain belief in what I know to be true but cannot at this moment feel or touch
Another one said faith is completing my small part of the picture or puzzle without being able to see the finished project
I say faith is walking blind without a compass assured that each step you take brings your closer to your destination
Faith is being assured of that destination even though you are blind and have no idea where you are going but you are at peace because you know that all you have to do is take the one step each day.
That is what faith is to me
Faith is waking up and realizing that everyone you love is dead, and everything you sought to acquire over the last 30 years is gone with the tsunami and yet you still say it is well with my soul
faith is putting 210 thousand dollars into a degree and realizing that after 5 years you have nothing to show for it because every single door you thought would be open has been rudely slammed shut in your face that is faith when you wake up the next morning and say God is good
Faith is leaving the one you love, getting on a plane with a one way ticket not sure of how or when you will return
Faith is praise instead of tears
It is worship that hurts
Faith is an empty womb in a body that lives in a house with a baby’s crib
Faith is blood covered hands digging through the rubble in search of a loved one
You gotta want faith, you see, faith cannot be passed to you by your father or your mother, faith is not something that you get through DNA,
It cannot be bought or sold
Faith is something that is earned, thru the hard fought tears that trickle down your face when no one is watching
I have to admit that my faith everyday is not the same because some days I wake up and realize I barely have enough faith to roll myself out of bed, talk less about plastering a smile on my face.
I have just a little bit of faith to get me out of bed in the morning, I don’t have faith to be joyful, I don’t have faith to smile, I just have the faith it takes to not commit suicide
You see you gotta define faith, you gotta realize that faith cannot be bought or sold, it cannot be passed down to you by your father or mother or encode into your genetic sequence
You gotta want it and you gotta want it bad, but in order to get faith, you got to go thru the trials
Some of us say Lord give me a little bit more faith but what we are hoping for is Lord show me more so I won’t have to rely on you so much
And I have to admit, I have to admit, I have to admit that nine days out of 10 I would take sight over his spirit, God’s presents over his presence, because all I want to be able to do is get through the day and I would really preferred it if He would just give me what I want, instead of asking me to walk by faith
In order to walk by faith you gotta have actions
Faith is realizing that sometimes you will leave your house with an empty gas tank and still hope to reach your destination 30 miles away.
Faith is trusting when everyone around you calls you a fool
Faith is waking up each morning and believing that His word is true even though you can’t see the manifestation in your life, faith is realizing that your feelings are THAT, only feelings and they can’t go any deeper than your skin so you have to realize that what gets you through is the fact that He is God and He is good
Faith is rooted in his word and that is why though the tears fall I quote Matthew 10:30 which says that my hairs are numbered and not counted.
Knowing that my hairs are numbered makes me realize that my days are numbered and ordered
Isaiah says that my name is engraved on his palm, not written to be erased by the cold bitter sting of disappointment. Engraved by the same nails that nailed him to the cross and so I know I will not be lost because He who began a good work will see it to the day of completion
I put faith in that.
I rest in that.
I sleep on that
What do you put faith in because faith is more than just memorizing the words faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen
you gotta realize that faith cannot be bought or sold, it cannot be passed down to you by your father or mother or encode into your genetic sequence
Faith has to go a little bit deeper, faith has to hurt, faith is the tears running down your face when your spouse is knocking on death’s door in a hospital room and you have nothing. Your home is double mortgaged to pay for the hospital bills the insurance company refuses to handle and yet you still trust in the one who was present as your birth.
That is faith, anything less than that is a waste of my time