Great minds discuss ideas,
average minds discuss events, 
small minds discuss  people ---- Eleanor Rooservelt

So let's talk

Here are some quotes from the video and article if you don't have the time to watch/read it

The church shouldn't be the place where you are coming to find a man. 

Do I think that all men that go to church are good men. NO ABSOLUTELY NOT! 

"If their strategy for meeting men is failing, Cooper offers two suggestions: Find another church or leave-and go where the boys go: tailgates, bars and clubs."

One of biggest reasons black women are single, Cooper says, is because of a lack of black men in the church. According to the PEW study, "African-American men are significantly more likely than women to be unaffiliated with any religion (16 percent vs. 9 percent). Nearly one-in-five men say they have no formal religious affiliation."

Watkins believes the social structure of the church keeps black men from attending. "Those appealing, high-testosterone guys have a hard time getting into the 'Follow the leader, give me your money, and listen to what I have to say' attitude."

"Many of us have a difficult time submitting to the pastor who is just another man."

So have at it

Do you think the church structure provides a negative environment that men cannot thrive in?

Men in the church, can they be trusted?

What are your thoughts when you think of the amount of time women spend trying to get dressed for church and look good, do you question their motives?

What are your thoughts in general about this article?



Mwajim Al said...

The premise of this article is faulty and based on the fact that black women go to church in order to find men. Now taking that premise to be true, then yes, the rest of the argument follows in mere tautology. Yes, if that church is not giving you the man, then go to another one. Yes, then go to a club or a bar to look for him.


Should black women be going to church to find a man? Should the fact that a black woman is going to find a man in the church and the fact that he isn't there be the basis for a "high-testosterone" theory?

What happened to going to church for the pure fellowship of worshipping with the brethren (community)? What happened to: "I was filled with Joy when they said let us go to the house of the Lord" for the pure excitement of going to our Father's house?

In the first place, we have our priorities mixed up if we are going to church for the wrong reasons. Secondly, the bible talks about false teachings and prophets, so of course not everyone in church is there for the right reasons or is a saint.

*chuckles* there is a pew study? lol. I should like to read that Journal then.

Myne Whitman said...

The premise of the article is clear and I think I agree up to a point. A lot of women go to church hoping to find the man of their dreams or just a life partner. However, not a lot of men go to church in the first place esp when single.

So we see that their expectations will most likely not be met. Then the type of men you're likely to meet in, are they the ones you're looking for?

doll said...

i like myne's conclusions

doll said...

Do you think the church structure provides a negative environment that men cannot thrive in? No, i think that its women / wives that pull men closer to God most times, that is why single men in church are far less than married men or single women

Men in the church, can they be trusted? not really....every spirit should still be tested with fire

i think people should go to church to fellowship with other believers not to look for spouse, if however you get your spouse in the process of communing with fellow problem...however, that shouldnt be the motive.

Its sad how single girls flock to churches in 9ja, become ushers to get noticed, and do all sorts

Tisha said...


no comment!

I know why i came to church and if you know why you are in church, tis all that matters.

Kafo said...

@ Tisha: when I read it myself I WAS LIKE WHAT IN THE WORLD, but as you said all that matters is why you personally go to church

@ doll: hmmm i never thought of your first point of women pulling men closer to God, will toss that to a couple of married men i know to see what they think

I have no experience in Naija churches (i left when I was 14) but i always assumed that they were plenty men in churches in naija and it was only in America that this problem existed.

@ Myne Whitman: r they the kind of men you are looking for?
good point

@ Mwajim Al: well said oooooooo
wow i guess you are right the basic premise is suspect and so the whole article must be seen through these faulty lenses.