Wartime Mentality

okay this is one of those in your face ones.
the stuff you need to hear but would rather not.i really can't sugarcoat it cuz i got to be up in six hours so yeah if you read this before i get to edit it
i apologize
i take that back
i don't apologize
i need to add some verses to clean it up but everything else will stay the same so yeah, if you have a weak stomach don't read it until sometime tomorrow evening.

This is a war, not a walk in the park or a stroll down Sunset Boulevard.
There was war in heaven when Lucifer decided that being lead singer wasn't enough.
This war spread to earth the moment Eve ate the fruit ...
6000 years and counting, we are still at war.
The battlegrounds may not the look the same on every terrain
but don't get it twisted and allow yourself to be fooled into thinking that this is peacetime.
cuz that will be one of the greatest mistakes you every make.

As a soldier, you need to have a wartime mentality.
When you do, you realize that:

1. Pain is inevitable: when you have a wartime mentality you realize that you aren't being singled out for pain but that everyone will at some point take a hit or get caught by flying shrapnel. Pain reminds you that you are still in the fight and not six feet under.

2. Luxurious recuperation can kill: Lingering and licking your wounds is the surest way to get yourself killed. Don't waste your time bemoaning your situation because as previously mentioned it is not unique. Morphine which can masquerade as self indulgence or self pity is dangerous because it temporarily disables your ability to focus on reality.

3. Nothing lasts forever: you will die or Christ will come but at some point this struggle of yours will end. So fight until your last breathe.

4. The battle is already won: it's over. Seriously, it might not look it but we are just deciding our place in history. Each choice we make shows our allegiance, choices indicate the side we are on. We cannot change which side wins just by rational argument, forensic data or carbon dating. This battle predates the existence of man so we don't get to define what the sides are, all we can do is pick one.

5. HMMMM __________________
: This is where i put something nice and happy but i don't have it right now so if you do ...... fill in the blanks

In short: Pondering

There are three things that cause mii to wonder,
nay, four that take a lil' while longer to ponder.
The futility of expectations,
the redundancy of dreams,
the perpetual creation of idols,
and the 7am frantic fear-based stampede of humanity.

Spoken Word: To Whom It May Concern

At some point, i will do more than just audio with a pic but just like the previous two, (Amazing Grace, To Haiti with love) i'm still in the i'm-a-student-and-got-other-stuff-i-have-to-learn-stage.   Those who prefer to absorb with their eyes, the words are below, those partial to the sense of hearing, click on play: this version also includes the chorus that was stuck in my head for two weeks. Let's just say Pat Robertson ticked mii off and so the chorus was born but i couldn't find the lyrics-- the words until two Wednesday's ago. 


the words
It’s how we treat the least of these
It’s how we act when the road gets rough
It’s how we treat the least of these that shows who we are, who we really are

We’re not defined by the words that we speak or the day of the week that we choose to appear meek and uniquely gather to discuss doctrinal matters. That is not who we are
The length of our skirt matters naught to the needy when their bellies are empty, so gently let’s pull back the cover and rediscover the essence of us being.
Here on this planet,
we exist to make him visible; our job is to show a dying world the invisible Christ.
The moment you take on his name your aim is to proclaim his love but instead we complain and profane his name,                                                                                                                                                                             When you come out of the watery grave you in effect say that you will daily empty yourself in order to show them Him. 
But instead we lobby in the hobbies to legislate change when instead we’ve been called to be a light that the world cannot ignore because of our love not because of our political might.
Light cannot be heard, so why do we discuss it
Light can only be seen so let us present it with our deeds

We are too busy pointing fingers so we fail to use our whole hands to assist the long line of those who have been dismissed by society, quietly confirming what they know to be true, that we speak but do not do that which we have been called to. Which is
To make the invisible God visible
Each breathe we are given is to complete this task, to show the world that He does exist and that His love endures forever, but wrapped in our ivory towers we are kept clean and pristine so His love is unseen,
this is obscene, 
 our insistence on speaking and keeping but not sharing and living out His love  and so instead we make a mockery of the very thing that we profess to possess
Unless we address this issue we make much ado about nothing because this says who we really are

It’s how we treat the least of these
It’s how we act when the roads gets rough
It’s how we treat the least of these that shows who we are

You see we got it twisted thinking it’s about the rules we follow or the words we speak that have now become so shallow draped beneath our pseudo piety used to salve our burgeoning egos while the world is crying for help.

Each breathe you take but fail to make a difference with is wasted.
Each breathe you take but fail to make a difference with is wasted.
Each breathe I take but fail to make a difference with is wasted.

Until, only until
Your reaction defines your heart, until it breaks with sorrow over the death of a lost one.
Until your knees ache cuz u were on them till daybreak pleading, begging God to give you one more day to impact one more life, earnestly beseeching, asking for his mercy to cover the lost you know until they see the light you show.

Until your first reaction is not to accuse but to rescue to save the depraved,
until your conscience chooses assistance that crosses the distance to those in need in Haiti, in Sudan, in China , in the Congo, in Myanmar,
We don’t act in order to show love we are in love with God and so the things that break his heart move us to act out of our love of Him.
We are not what we believe, we are not what we speak but we are what we do
Even the demons believe and check out what they do

So that is why on the day that the skies will part and Christ will return for his bride many of us will be found wanting
singing and wanting,
church going and wanting,
bible thumping verse memorizing and wanting,
long skirt wearing buggy car driving and wanting
no alcohol drinking or ear piercing or porn watching and still wanting
vegetarian food eating Sabbath school lesson teaching, no club going and wanting

Cuz It’s how you treat the least of these
It’s how I act when the roads gets rough
It’s how we treat the least of these that shows we are, who we really are.

Mudiwa: Haiti - 'hope in a sea of tears'

There is more happening here than 10 American missionaries in jail. I guess I came to remind myself of that. No one deserves to die in silence, and no one's struggle to live should go unnoticed as well. ---Anderson Cooper


I want my voice to join his, people in this much pain shouldn't have to suffer in silence.have to struggle so. We are three days away from the one month anniversary of the earthquake and while our TV screens no longer remind us of their tragedy, their pain remains.

While some of us have gotten tired, others are finding innovative ways to give. Mudiwa: Haiti  (pictures shown)is a creation of a friend, who is using her unique talent of making purses to raise money for the Haitian people.


Mudiwa: Haiti - 'hope in a sea of tears'
      - medium black clutch with assymetrical ruffle ('tears') detail dotted with colorful gems('hope').

Mudiwa Designs is a company with a fashionable cause; normally proceeds from these one of a kind purses go towards projects in Zimbabwe . However, the call of Haiti is too loud to ignore. 100% of the proceeds from the sale of this purse will be donated to ADRA to assist in the Haiti relief efforts. Bid today!

More about:
Mudiwa Designswww.mudiwadesigns.com

  so let your voice be heard
BID today!!!



please don't let their cries go unheard

Sabbath Series: 19 - Reflection on the Ever Surprising God

Being able to plan out each move and each phase in your life is cool and reassuring,
being able to rely on God for the next stage is frustratingly beautiful.
Frustrating in that He always waits for the last minute,
beautiful because He never fails to stun your senses with limitless grace.
Your wildest dreams might include multi-million dollar lottery tickets
but His reality is a front row seat ticket to witnessing His glory.

I have to admit that on most days I would chose the former, I want to have the power and the psychedelic gift to control and map it all out but then my weaknesses rear their head and fitting them into my dreams becomes complicated then I realize that surrendering to the One that knows all of mii including my weaknesses might temporarily be disconcerting but is eternally gratifying.
So as I sit in this office lobby thinking and trying to plan out the future, I tell my mind to pause and just write His praises instead 'cuz my wildest dreams cannot compare to His breathtaking and show stopping reality that He has planned.

Jehovah-Jireh, the Lord my provided, who forgives mii of my sins and has redeemed my life form the devil's grip. The creator of my life, the another of all things good, Lord I try to surrender today to you. My aspirations for the future and plans for today are yous. Thank You for the gift of your son and the air I breathe today. Thank You Father. Your promises, like David said preserve mii and today I cling to the promise that You will complete this work that You have started in mii. I know you will do it in such a way that You will get all the praise and glory and in order for this to happen it must be totally out of my control hmmm..... let mii think about that part for a while.

FYI: Change in plans will be updating this blog regularly on Wednesday I've decided to continue the Sabbath Series which i normally post Fri/Sat, hence the change.

Spoken Word: To Haiti With Love

Performed this piece last week in Austin at a benefit for Haiti. I haven't gotten the video yet from my friend but decided to record it on my PC. This is the first cut, so it's raw and has some static but the words still resonate.


To Haiti With Love

I love you
Yes, I love you
But Jesus, all I see is pain, destruction and ruin, did it not occur to you that we were already in pain before you allowed this to happen to us, the poorest of the poor
I love you

I see past the destruction of man made things and can identify with the pain covering tear streaked faces layered with dirt. I hurt with each labored breathe your lungs takes cuz they are all measured by mii. Bones broken, blood shed every single drop is recognized by mii.

The last gasp of each dying soul is chronicled and noticed by mii, I alone know the exact count and all the names to go with the faces now buried in ditches that your cameras cannot obtain. In vain, the world tries to quantify with estimate but I have life stories, not just bodies. Testimonies etched into my eternal memory constantly replay in my mind, on my hands are the names of the ones that died seconds before help arrived. Deprived of oxygen, struggling for air, the ones that screamed out my name, before their world went dark, I know them all.  I alone see all your pain not just the fractions that affect each faction.
Human feelings cannot be used to portray the depth of emotion that courses thru my veins.
I love you
You are loved by mii in ways that the world cannot understand
They see buildings reduced to rubble
So double your pain and triple your anguish and that just begins to scratch the surface of my grief because I know the history of everyone who wished they could live in such a building.
I know your pain and while the world tries to make restitution and fix this I can’t.

I wish I could swoop down with legions of angels to heal each wound, I have the power, I have the means and yet love prevents mii from intervening, refraining to act breaks my heart apart, like Mozart I must sit on the sidelines watching them try to recreate my symphony.

I see your pain I am not blind to your plight, I can’t give you want you want
because that will require mii to strip you of the evidence of my love.
From above you want mii to take away pain but I can’t remove pain because to eliminate pain is to eradicate choice
and my love is made manifest expressed in your ability to choose to love mii regardless of what life brings
Know this, I love you
Have hope in this love because I alone see the heart
Where they see ruin, I see rebirth,
where they see destruction I see determination made manifest in the lives of children who preserve for 15 days beneath the rubble.

Resilient you are using taking natures worst and rising each day to rebuild.
Beautiful you are each morning you are able to see the beauty in being alive and cherish each moment and thank mii for each breathe
Courageous you are each day choosing to live and not to give in to the darkness or take what the devil panders
Resourceful  you are taking on the roles of father and mother children acting as parents
You are mine.
You are mine, on the days your scream out in pain and curse my name
You are heart, soul, mind, beauty, resilient and mine
You are courageous, resourceful, strong, determined and mine,
You are tired, in pain, scared, bruised, lonely, broke, orphaned and mine
You are mine.

I have bought you with my blood
I paid the price, stripped of all dignity, ridiculed by humanity just so on this day
on this day when your heart breaks from the weight of sin cold hand  I can hold you and call you mine and
give you peace that transcends this world
give you joy regardless of what is hurled
give you freedom to choose to cherish humanity
give you love to act with dignity
give you patience to deal with the weather
give you hope knowing that this won’t last forever
because you are mine
and one day I’m coming to reclaim what is rightfully mine

A new dawn

I apologize for my delinquency :(
Writer's block is a lame excuse
so i won't use it
why didn't i update my blog and let it sit idle for over 60 days
because i wasn't sure i wanted to write

i finally realized that writing is essential but meaningless writing is an abomination
and so i started thinking about what i wanted it to be

i remember when i just started writing in 05 it was just for mii, reflections on movies, vent sessions just to chronicle the madness of my mind
when i started blogging in 2007 it was about baby steps in poetry and being heard
and now

now i want it to mean something
i want it to be more than words on a page
i want it to be so explosive it forces mii to change the way i act and hopefully impact others in a meaningful way to do the same.
i want unspoken to be light not heard but seen, i've been content for too long to debate and postulate and then sit on the sidelines.

that ends now

i'm tired of empty words
including mine
and that is why i am killing my other blog
d Lamentations: it was about mii writing letters that i never post to political figures

the new vision is wRitten, Reality and Reaction

is the spoken word/poetry part/vignette that has been the norm for the last year or so and will be updated weekly on Monday morning.

is the news we never hear about but we need to know exist will be updated as the news is found

is Dent, my attempt to put a dent in this wall of pain that keeps building around us all and ideas on how others can do the same. will be updated bi-monthly on the 15th and 30th (for feb. it will be 14 and 28th)

okay so that's the concept
and God willing and Holy Spirit helping it will be.


currently they are three separate blogs that are accessible thru tabs on each other but a more fluid template is in the works.
most of the people subscribed to wRitten (formerly known as d Unspoken) can access the other blogs or can subscribe/follow separately to them if they want.but being that they will all be updated at different times it might help to treat them differently.

i'm in search of a new template this one is just temporary (i hope) i can't seem to find what i want and i'm too lazy to create it so we will see.....