My Daddy is Retired oooooooooooooooo

This is what I wanted to say

Do you know why we are here?
We are not here because my father is the smartest man because he isn’t.
He has received more than ONCE all the grades available, from A to F
We are not here because my father had the most connections because he doesn’t
He grew up in a tiny town in Ekiti state away from those of influence
We are not here because he is the best preacher because he isn’t
We are not here because he is the most handsome man because he will be the first to admit that he isn’t
We are here today because of two words
Surrender and Grace
Approximately 40 years ago, my father made a conscious choice to surrender his whole life. This was not an easy decision and sometimes it didn’t make sense. He surrendered to God in the good times, in the bad times, when it made sense and even when it didn’t and that is why we are here today. This is the first time that our nuclear family, the seven of us have been together in 12 years and yet through it all, through the separation and pain from his children and sometimes His wife he surrendered to God.
We are here because my father, a man like any other surrendered and God in his infinite wisdom bestowed his Grace upon him.
So today I give Glory to God the Father for his love and the Son, Jesus Christ for working out the rough edges on this imperfect man, Joseph Adebisi Ola who surrendered to God.
To my dad you rock because you figured out the most important thing in life is to love those you have been blessed with and surrender daily to the will of God
To my mom you rock because for 35 years you have lived with my dad and supported his ever move even when you didn’t understand it.
To everyone here today thank you for coming to celebrate this surrendered man blessed by the grace of God. So let us give God all the honor, glory and praise.

This is what I said
I love you daddy.
I love you soo much.
Okay I’m going to cry because Busayo has made me all emotional and stuff.
My dad over the course of the last three years has called just to say Hi. He would call me everyday at 2 a.m. just to check in and ask about all my sisters. That isn’t the reason why I love him so much. Today I love him soo much because he surrenders to the will of God even when it doesn’t make sense and separates him from his wife and kids, he follows God
And then the tears started to fall
I love you
And then I passed the microphone to the next person because the tears were streaming down my face.

So i've been in Naija for 10 days
and I'm trying to figure out how people survive with no internet
I have eating too many yams and plantains that I'm sure my intestines are turning to yams.
I have also eating Suya, i need to eat it at least 4 more times before new year's
what else
I have a profound hatred for NEPA and all things that are controlled by the government
Seriously how can Senators be getting paid 150 thousand US dollars a month and our country be this way.
I am going to start a campaign against all Nigerian leaders, even Obama doesn't earn that much in a year and here we are.

I'm also learning about MTN and GLO and credit and it's fun.

Not sure when the next update will be but stay blessed and beautiful.


I have been in Nigeria for the last 10 days.
This is my first trip back to Nigeria in 12 years.
I have to admit that I'm not really excited about this trip.
I bought my ticket about a month ago and then cried all the way back home.
I haven't really posted anything because I'm too scared to write for fear of what will come out of my lips.

I'm in Nigeria right now and quickly learning that a different set of rules apply.

Different Packages

Thanksgiving comes in different packages.
This year it is packaged in love that shines through :-
  • A friend that chooses to ignore my recommendation, buy a ticket last minute and get on a plane just to say hi. Your beauty is made manifest in the countless prayers that span the miles that separate us.
  • A sister that gets excited about the little stuff, keeps some secrets and lets others out, stays up all day just to be there, just to laugh, just to smile, just to be there. Your beauty is made manifest in your devotion and selfless giving.
  • A couple that believes in love more than they believe in diamonds, who support in donning the various hats of friend, counselor, planner and cheerleader. Your beauty is made manifest in your ability to infuse courage by taking your life together one step at a time despite obstacles.

So today
I'm choosing to see this as another step unafraid of the challenges that lay ahead because I'm blessed to have these witnesses and many more to carry, pray, support, encourage, cry (i think i don't need help in that category) and laugh me through.

Choosing to SEE

Best book of 2010.
Read this book if:
  1. You are a control freak who is struggling with letting go
  2. You are finding a hard time adapting to the unexpected circumstances that come your way
  3. You are struggling with the Goodness of God admidst the storm
  4. You are a huge fan of Steven Curtis Chapman songs
  5. You are in need a some heavenly perspective
  6. You are oscillating between faith and despair
  7. You are grieving the loss of a family member
Seriously. I just finished reading this book and now I'm off to buy the Kindle version just so I can have it on me on my ipod wherever I go.

This last month has been excruitatingly painful (not sure if that is grammatically correct). I find myself between a volcanic mountain and the jaws of a shark and it's hard but this is what I'm learning, I CAN DO HARD. Having a heavenly perspective and not wallowing in self pity is not the easiest thing to do when pain is seeping from all pores but today I'm choosing to SEE.

I'm choosing to SEE Your goodness, mercy, grace and love
Choosing to SEE that You has a plan amidst the storm
Choosing to SEE that every single action has been preordained by You.
Choosing to SEE that from up close the picture may look blurry
but the further I get from this mess the more beautiful it appears
Choosing to SEE that You are in control regardless of the fallout
Choosing to SEE that my steps are ordered
Choosing to SEE that You are God and You are good
Choosing to SEE and believe and praise because on a hill faraway stood an old rugged cross
and because He lives I can face whatever tomorrow brings
Because He lives all fear that is rooted in low self self-esteem, broken promises,
broken dreams and unmet expectations is gone
Im choosing to SEE that He holds tomorrow and that is why my love is worht alot.
Basically I'm choosing to SEE and believe that He is all good and not all bad because those are the only too options.
So that is what I will try and do for the next 18 days I will choose to SEE

Upside down blessings

you are blessed beyond measure
breathe in and then out
you are chosen
each complication is exactly tailored to fit you,
to bring out the worst in you so you can draw closer to Him
He loves you too much to let you drown in your pseudo happiness
He loves you too much to let you wallow in the applause of the masses
He loves you too much to punish you with blessings you are ill equipped to receive
He loves you too much to much to ignore your pleas of repentance
and so He allows this.
He allows this situation to bend you but not break you
To perplex you but not cause despondency
That is how much He loves you
Blessings masquerading as tailor fitted trials
Oh my word
Each mess the enemy throws your way He fashions into a lesson
Each curve ball is transformed into a mission
So breathe in and then out
Scream and then Laugh
Cause you
Yes, You are BLESSED

Don't do anything

Watch this video before reading

Don't vote.
Don't pray.
Don't volunteer.
Don't listen to their cries.
Don't pray.
Don't intercede for others.
Don't forgive those who have wronged you.

The church has not listened to your needs, they have mistreated you and gossiped about you. They have ignored your request and stereotyped you based on clothing.
So please ignore the call to serve.

Watching this political ad got me thinking, if you don't vote for your political party, then the other party wins.  This verse makes it personal

He who is not with Me is against Me, and he who does not gather with Me scatters abroad.

This is war, and there is no neutral ground. If you're not on my side, you're the enemy; if you're not helping, you're making things worse.

Matthew 12:30

So let me sum it up in a few words 
Inactivity for the cause of God is activity for the cause of Satan

Rack, Shack and Benny

Daniel 3
20 And he commanded certain mighty men of valor who were in his army to bind Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego, and cast them into the burning fiery furnace. 21 Then these men were bound in their coats, their trousers, their turbans, and their other garments, and were cast into the midst of the burning fiery furnace. 22 Therefore, because the king’s command was urgent, and the furnace exceedingly hot, the flame of the fire killed those men who took up Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego. 23 And these three men, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego, fell down bound into the midst of the burning fiery furnace.
24 Then King Nebuchadnezzar was astonished; and he rose in haste and spoke, saying to his counselors, “Did we not cast three men bound into the midst of the fire?”
They answered and said to the king, “True, O king.”
25 “Look!” he answered, “I see four men loose, walking in the midst of the fire; and they are not hurt, and the form of the fourth is like the Son of God.

  1. They went into the furnace bound: The devil has a way of shaping our temptation in such a way that we are crippled and bound going into them. He knows our proclivities and our weaknesses  and so he  fashions a trial that is heightens the pain because of our issues.  For instance, I'm immune to alcohol so the devil doesn't tempt me in a bar, he tempts me in a bookstore. So beware lest you fall.

  2. They were cast into the midst of the fiery furnace:  You will go through the fire, unfortunately God doesn't rescue all of us before we get into the fire, just because you have faith and take a stand for God doesn't me the devil will let go that easily. I always thought that all I had to do was stand for him and He will let trials pass over me, but it's not always that easy, sometimes you will have to walk through the fire

  3. They  were four men: He meets you IN the furnace, IN your trials, IN your tribulation, that is where you see Him. I have to admit that most days I'm blind to His working, good or bad, so this gave me hope that I might eventually see Him in this mess.

  4. They were all loose: They went in bound, but came out loose. Wow. The weakness, the proclivity, the spiritual deficiency that the devil used to cast you into the fire, you lose. Christ sets you free from yourself IN the fire. You are then free, free to live, free to share, free to worship. I'm most honest in my tribulation, I realize that sin seizes to control me when I'm in trial, i think it is because I'm focused on the source of my strength.

  5. They were not hurt: God burnt up the chains that had them bound but they were not hurt. This is where I lose it y'all,  because most days I feel like I'm hurting, most days including today I feel emotional and sometimes physical bruised, but they were not hurt and so I take comfort because my soul will not be hurt, though this physical body perish, I will rise. You see, I serve a God who has power to burn up my chains and the ropes that bind my character but leave me untouched.

Oh my word, this is deep, G. I. G. God is good.

Another thought just crossed my mind,
How did King Neby know what Christ looked liked?
Could it be that the lost around us will only see Christ when we are in the fire?
Could it be that we might not even have to give them a bible study and they will see Him?

Unanswered Questions

Stuff happens.
Each time it rains, it pours and thunders
and so we ask why.
The pain obstructs our view and clouds our perspective
We refrain to reframe our troubles through heaven's eyes.
and so the tears fall because we want answers and all we get is silence

Then in walks the friend who says that God is good and Satan is the perpetrator
God is in control of this universe, not the devil.
So you can say the devil did it
but God allowed it
permitted it
ordained it
sanctioned it
decreed it
Choose the word you want.
I don't care. The fact remains that my pain exists and He sees it

So we look to the sky and question.
We scream WHY
Why did you allow him to treat me so
Why is my house still empty after 3 miscarriages
Why am i alone with no one waiting for mii at home
Why did you allow her to leave and die before her prime

on days like this
He says
Kafo, if I loved you enough to die for you
can't you trust Me enough with the unanswered questions
can't you trust Me with your pain

i become speechless
because under the shadow of the Cross, His love shines through

Be Silent: 3,800 versus 1

I know the death of 1 poor child is less tragic than the suicide of a gay American teen.
I know the death of 10 Asian children is less horrific than the suicide of a gay American teen.
I know the death of 100 African children is less lamentable than the suicide of a gay American teen.
I know the death of 1000 S. American children is less sickening than the suicide of a gay American teen.
I know the death of 3,000 children under the age of 5 is less heartbreaking than the suicide of a gay American teen.
I know this
and now you know this
because yesterday 3,800 children under the age of 5 died of preventable causes like diarrhea contracted from unclean water and no one talked about it.
I didn't, did you?

Today another 3,800 will be buried and not a tear will be shed, or a story written.
No memorials, or wreaths will be laid, no psychologists on talk shows.
This is the world that I have created by being silent
This is the world that I love
This is my world
This is your world
So live, be silent and be happy. 

Just in case you wanted to break the silence
ADRA Water Focus:
for more info 


Every 20 seconds, a child dies from a water-related disease.
Number estimated from statistics in the 2006 United Nations Human Development Report.

1 life lost in this senseless way is tragic, 4 lives lost is a crisis - Ellen DeGeneres
(message on kids who have committed suicide in September due to anti-gay bullying)

Every day, 3,800 children under the age of five die from preventable causes like diarrhea contracted from unclean water.
Dirrahoea remains in the second leading cause of death among children under five globally. Nearly one in five child deaths – about 1.5 million each year – is due to diarrhea. It kills more young children than AIDS, malaria and measles combined.
Diarhhoea: Why children are still dying and what can be done. UNICEF, WHO 2009

Chilean Miners v. Insanity

It's 2:08 am EST, the fourth miner was just brought to the surface.
G. I. G. God is good and as I sit thoughts run through my mind. 

   is one of the Chilean miners losing faith and attacking other trapped miners, tonight, hours from rescue.
   is the crowd mourning each time the siren sounds when a miner emerges
   is one of the miners detaching his headset while in the capsule halting contact with the rescue team
   is one of the trapped miners refusing to enter the capsule because of fear
   is one of the trapped miners throwing a fit because he wasn't the first miner to be rescued

Insanity is mii
 could it be you?

Too harsh, let me come a lil' bit closer.

Do you cringe at the testimony of a Christian friend, wondering when your deliverance will come?
Are you more likely to moan about what could go wrong in your situation when good news is being shared?
Do you find yourself detaching your headset, ending communication, avoiding prayer?
Would you refuse to get in the capsule, out of the boat and walk on water because of fear of failure?
Would you throw a fit because God chose to rescue another before He did you?

Here's what I'm learning today as I watch the rescue mission. It would be insane for me at this point to throw a fit, stop praying or get jealous. 
I serve a God who is intimately acquainted with my needs, dreams, drama and proclivities. He is the ONLY one aware of the amount of pressure needed to cleanse me of selfish pride. He knows which dreams of mine are routed in sin and how long my friend can handle her current situation. And so today I breathe in, breathe out, say a prayer for the remaining 29 miners and believe that He who brought me to it will see me through it for His glory alone.

Another thought that is running through my head is company. What company do you keep? Do you surround yourself with hopeful people who have testimonies or those who can't dream of sunlight? As the miners come to the surface, their faces are wreathed in smiles. How beaten up do you appear, what toll is your mental health having on your physical appearance? When your day of rejoicing comes will your appearance speak of your faith or doubt?

Mercy,  questions, questions. I'm tired and need to get to bed, it is closer to 3 am than 2 but i have to finish listening to Bebe sing this song and watch another rescue. Listen to the words (via my playlist in the side panel) they are beautiful.


Hour 17
20 miners out 13 still down.

Still thinking

Insanity can also be defined as the rescue team withholding from the trapped miners the fact that a rescue plan was in the works.
Insanity is Christians withholding from a dying and trapped world that there is a rescue plan, it does work and its been in place for over 2000 years.

*Pardon my use of the word insanity in relation to the miners' experience. If one of them has a nervous breakdown tonight or tomorrow it is not insane but understandable. My goal is not to demean or trivialize their struggle but instead to draw a parallel between their harrowing experience and rescue and our Christian walk during adversity. I have nothing but respect, admiration and good will towards these men because I can't even imagine their struggle.

Caleb [1: Backstage Crew of the O.T. ]

Some say that is what my name means.
Called Foreigner, Alien, Illegal immigrant, Attache.
Choose your pick, I've been called all these names and more
With rancor, even to my face.
Disgraced I should be when they questioned my birthplace
but I know what I know, and so I live it.

Leader. I have now become among those who used to call me names.
Chosen to represent the tribe of Judah.
Our task was to scout out the Promised land,
Filled with milk and honey, we rejoiced when we saw grapes the size of oranges.
The air so fresh, the grass so green, rivers pristine.
Oh how we celebrated, we all did.
That was, that was until they saw the sons of Anak.
They were Giants and in an instant.
Faith disappeared and fear moved into their minds,
and so they forgot, but I didn't.
I saw what their fear obscured,

I saw because I know what I know
that He that brought us to it will give it to us if we only believed
because He has promised and is faithful.
I know what I know, and so I live it.

But like a disease what they perceived spread through the camp
until it stank with fear
I tried to give them hope and remind them of His promises
but faithless eyes cannot see His glory.
Moses and Aaron fell facedown
Joshua and I tore our robes in anguish
so boldly Unbelief took up rocks to stone us
to silence His words on our lips and flip leadership
He [Yahweh]  spoke condemning their doubt
"Fear is your leader and so I concede
I will no longer try and force my glory into your situation
You believe that they are stronger, so be it
You believe that you will die in the wilderness, so be it
every last one of you, one year for each day you denied my glory you will wander.
But Caleb has a different spirit and so I will bring him back to inherit this land."

He [Yahweh] called me by name.
No longer a foreigner
I'm now called and chosen.
A prince with an inheritance
all because I know what I know, and  live it.

40 years have gone by since that day
but i remember it like yesterday.
So I say,
Give me this mountain
Give me this task, this obstacle
this unconquered land inhabited by giants
so that those chosen and called by His name from this day will live out their destiny with pride.
Head held high, they will forge on into the unknown because of their relationship with the Known God.
So they will know that 40 years after the fact, what He says will be, will be.
Regardless of my aging muscles and weathered palms,
I have no qualms because He will, because He is
and so I go this day.
Because I know what I know and I live it.

Will you?

Anniversary Day

150 years ago in a lil' town in Michigan, 
Christian pioneers gathered together to label their movement.
They chose the name
Seventh Day Adventist Christians
Christians: followers of Christ who believe Jesus was and IS the Son of God.
Adventists: living in expectancy of the 2nd advent of  Christ
Day: each day striving to share the light we have received as we profess our creation which occurred in days not millenniums
Seventh: remembering, living and proclaiming all the truth not just the comfortable parts


It's a new month
Something happened yesterday that might have a huge impact on my life.
A friend shared this verse
and it is my new promise to claim
So this is a shout out to all my fellow SDAC may God continue to use you to further His will

But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you.
1 Peter 5:10 
So embrace this promise as you walk CONFIDENTLY into the last quarter of this year.

Today marks the 50th celebration of Nigeria's independence.
50 years
Still together
I have to admit that most years I shun this celebration because it seem ridiculous given the current state of affairs.
But today
i think
50 years and we are still together.
There has to be something good to come out of all this strife.
So yeah, today I celebrate my country.

Enjoy this video

In short: Questioning

There are three things that today need to be mentioned,
nay, four that cause me to question.
Why do prideful men always end up as self-serving ministers intent on giving Christianity a bad name?
Why is more planning given to the wedding date and not the foundation of the marriage? 
Why does the American Dream more often than not end up being a curse?
Why does the process of settling in make one more unsettled?

KemiPsalm 1

Lord I am overwhelmed.
Fear erodes my mind, like a tsunami,
sweeping away all your promises,
leaving shattered hopes behind. 
Blind, i grope around in darkness, 
So please shine your light and show a path.
Reveal Your will to mii.
Provide a way out of this mess that causes distress.
Please Father have pity on my soul,
and make mii whole.
Bless mii or kill mii 
Bless me or release mii from this torment
because I don't know how much more I can take.
Peace eludes my grasp and so Insomnia 
gives an embrace that chills the night's air.
Here I am Lord on my knees before You.
Perfect that which concerns mii.
Lord do not put me to shame
Let those around me not belive you have forsaken me
Please Lord come to my rescue and deliver mii
Here I will sit giving praise to Your name 
because you have called mii
You have chosen mii
and in time you will bless mii.
As I wait give mii peace to rest in your promises
Lord let my waiting not be in vain.

Thank God I'm NOT Fat [Sabbath Series 22]

Thank God I'm NOT Fat.
What if God allowed you to be placed on contraceptive that messed up your hormones and you gained weight?
Thank God I'm NOT Broke.
What if God allowed all your savings to be schemed off in a Ponzi scheme?
Thank God I'm NOT Jobless.
What if God allowed your company to be bought out by the government and you subsequently laid off?
Thank God I'm NOT Homeless.
What if God allowed your home to burn down and the insurance and mortgage company screwed you over?
Thank God I'm NOT Single.
What if God decided that your spouse had fulfilled his mission on earth and dying was the next step?
Thank God I'm not SICK
What if God allowed your cells to turn against you and you contract a rare disease?
Thank God I'm NOT living in a war torn country
What if God allowed the military to stage a bloody Coup in your country?
Thank God I'm NOT a sex slave
What if God allowed you to be raped repeatedly by the UN officers charged with keeping the peace?
Thank God I'm NOT ____
What if God allowed ____ to happen?

What then?

I woke up with pain in my jaw, took my painkillers, and right before I jumped into the shower I thanked God I wasn't fat and then the otherside of me said WHAT IF and i spent the next 30 minutes in the shower being taught a lesson by God.
I'm late for church
So let me wrap this up.

We spend I spend a lot of brain time trying to feel better by telling myself that there is someone out there in a worse condition. The problem with this line of self medication is that there is always someone in a better condition.

We should be joyful just because He loves us, not because we are better off than another person.
I realize that 65% of the my depressed thoughts come because I believe those around me are more blessed.
He is trying to get us to realize that regardless of the situation of those around us, this is personal and about our relationship with Him, NOT in reference to another persons' relationship

I'm not saying this right,
Let me try again
There are two lessons in this Not-Fat-Shower-Story
1. Regardless of your situation you should thank God
2. Stop comparing, it only brings grief, because there will always be someone you believe is better off than you.
okay 3
You need to get to a point where it is 100% personal. Your relationship to Christ shouldn't be in judged on the fervency or passivity of another Christian

Now I'm officially late
Have a blessed day

forgive the typos
my CSO is honking

Using you

He loves mii.
The real mii.
He did not choose me to use mii.
He chose mii not because I could increase his social standing or money bags.
He didn't choose me for my abilities in the kitchen or bedroom.
He LOVES mii.

On another note.

God loves you.
God did not choose you to use you
He chose you not because you could increase the number of people in His church or the size of it.
He didn't choose you for your abilities in the kitchen or the church boardroom.
He LOVES you.

Meditate on this.
Because if the only connection you have with God is the work you do for Him
There is a problem.
God is like a husband, he didn’t marry you because of the food you can cook, or the bed you can make.
He married you because he wants a relationship with You. Not one primarily based on your service but one steeped in your desire to listen to His will and surrender your life to Him.

Service is easy
Surrender is ...

please pray for me oooo
i'm in soo much pain right now. It's been 8 days since i removed my wisdom teeth and now i have been told by my dentist that i have a complication called dry socket. Which is basically hell on earth in your mouth. I have a friend's wedding this weekend so I need a major physical breakthrough as soon as possible. So please pray for me.

Wisdom in my Teeth

Excruciating pain courses through my veins
it can't be explained and yet I'm told to quantify it.
I'm told to affix a number on a scale of one to ten,
but when will this torture end?
How can it be quantified when I've forgotten the familiar;
the simple ability to chew has been replaced by torturous movements of my jaw.
So i sit and pop painkillers like peppermints
in an effort however feeble to stem the tide.
There is no end in sight and so i sit and bemoan my misery,
singing, talking, laughing are all memories of the past
oh will i ever use my jaw to speak words of life
instead of moan and groan each response.

How could the dentist do this to me,
oh wait, she isn't a dentist but a 
oral and maxillofacial surgeon.
Surgeon my foot, more like a
19th century confederate general
letting off cannon in my mouth.
What would she know about my jaw,
and the structure of the individual bones that are my teeth.
What insight can she possibly shed about impacted infected molars that cause pain.
She is evil, how could she pretend to care,
all is wanted was my money,
all she wanted to do was inflict this pain so she could see me squirm and cry.
Psychopathic lady masquerading as a doctor.


Right now I'm in alot of pain so i can't make this rhyme or be deep about this.
For the last 7 years on and off my wisdom teeth have given me problems, pain that always appears at the most inopportune time. In the last year it has gotten more severe and frequent so I made an appointment, rescheduled once (out of fear) and finally got them extracted yesterday.

Wierd but I sometimes treat God the way I rant and rave against my dentist. I sometimes convince myself when I'm in extreme pain that He is not all loving and is instead hell bent on causing me misery.
I forget about all of those countless hours that I prayed for relief and asked him to cleanse me. I conveniently suffer from selective amnesia to the point that I blame Him for my misery instead of thank Him (my dentist) for causing temporal pain (extracting my wisdom teeth) that will forever remove the eternal (7 years and counting permanent) one.

I forgot that the afflictions of this present time are temporal and are actually working for me a exceeding weight of glory that I can't see or imagine. Hmm Paul says it better in his second letter to the church in Corinth

16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. 17 For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, 18 while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal. 

So yeah even though right now I'm in pain I am thanking my dentist for this temporal pain that will put an end to my suffering. I am thanking my Lord and God for putting me in situations of pain that help purify and cleanse my character. For each situation of pain that brings peace and patience I thank God. For each situation of pain that removes another layer of pride that I possess I pause and say thank You God.
cuz most times 
i forget and whine

back to the vicodin

Sabbath Series: 21 - Sex and the Sabbath

This is an abbreviated version of an article I wrote earlier this week.
To read the article in its entirety visit

Once upon a time God said let there be light and during that same week He said let us make man in our image and they did, and he told the man and the woman be fruitful and multiply. The following day He decided to rest.

So Connection #1: Sex and the Sabbath were both created by God in the Garden of Eden.

Now let’s go a little bit further into why. Why did God create sex? Sex was created for a two-fold purpose the first is for procreation and the second for intimacy. Gen. 1:28 says “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it” that is the procreation angle.

Have you ever wondered why God made sex pleasurable and not boring? “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed” (24 – 25). Sex is an integral part of marriage, God in his wisdom created body parts that mesh and fit so well that two become one and this isn’t just physically this verse hints at an emotional intimacy, an emotional connection.

Why did God create the Sabbath?
Does God get tired? No. He does not. So why does Gen 2: 1 -3 says that he rested from his work. Could it be that God rested on the Sabbath as a template for man? Here’s how I envision it, the Trinity is chilling up in heaven by the sea of glass and God the Father says let’s make man in our image and then after 5 days of speaking things into existence He forms man with His hand and puts a bowtie on creation by spending the 7th day just chilling and bonding with man. Focusing on our relationship with Him, he does this all in an effort to foster intimacy between man and God. Check out Exodus 20: 8 – 12 and Isa. 58: 13 – 14, it’s about relationship pure and simple.

Connection #2: Sex and the Sabbath were created by God to enhance relationships.

Unfortunately for us, Eve ate the fruit, sin moved in and all that was pure became corrupted. Sex which was previously an expression of true love, used to enhance the relationship with a couple was distorted. Adultery, incest, masturbation, homosexuality are all distortions of this gift that predate our technological advances such as porn and are in scripture (Gen. 19:5, 36; Rom. 1: 26 – 27). The Sabbath a gift from God was forgotten and replaced to suit the needs of man. Its purpose watered down and diluted to the point that the Creator’s intention is obscured by the devil.

Connection #3: Both have been distorted and now are being used by the devil to destroy our earthly and heavenly relationships.

What blows my mind is that the church is now complicit in this deception. Our response to the devil’s misrepresentation is secrecy. In an attempt to appear pure and holy we lock sex in a box and feed our children cookie cutter answers.

We dress the Sabbath the same way; we throw out names like Constantine and dates like 324 A.D. without sharing with our friends and children the immense joy of just chilling with God for a full 24 hours. This gift from God we pound into their heads with a list of dos and don’ts, we legislate what can and can’t be done on the Sabbath instead of focusing on the relationship we are suppose to have with our Creator. Our friends don’t get it because we either wear it as a badge of privilege reserved for the elect, or a burden or a item on our checklist to ensure we reach heaven.

Connection #4: Misrepresented by church

Sex done right is about honesty and freedom. Not backseats of cars, or dimly lit motel rooms. It is definitely not about broken condoms or morning after pills. It isn’t about seductive perfume or suggestive clothing. It is about being naked and unashamed with your spouse.

Sabbath done right is about honesty and freedom. Not two hour church services with frowns on our faces or looking over our shoulders when we stop to buy gas. It isn’t defined by the clothes we choose to wear to elicit a response from fellow believers about our status or class; it isn’t about the fake smiles on our faces plastered to portray a peace we don’t truly feel. It is about being spiritually naked and unashamed in front of God who loves us beyond what you can imagine.

Connection #5: It’s about honesty and freedom.

Sex done right isn’t a one night stand. It needs foreplay that begins when you wash the dishes in the sink and take out the trash. It starts with flowers when she least expects it and grows with 2 a.m. discussions about your fears. It’s about commitment.

Enjoying the Sabbath isn’t a one day stand either, it doesn’t begin when the sun sets on Friday. That’s just the cherry on the cake. A good Sabbath starts on Sunday during your personal devotions and continues all through the week as you make a choice to surrender to His will.

Connection #6: It’s about commitment

So wake up, embrace God's true meaning for this day and also for sex because they were both created by God to draw us closer to each other and ultimately to Him.


Hot and steamy
Like an aphrodisiac scent
you make my heart beat faster
With just one word
I look at your lips,
lick mine, in anticipation of when yours will part
and fill the silence because my mind tries and fails to imagine the reality.
This fantasy is brief
I want vivid and explosively titillating.

I want to experience it all
Immerse my senses in what you have to offer
Spend each second of the next minute 
Getting closer
Heart to heart

To connect
Drawn in as one
without fear
we will fly and reach a climatic intimacy

Pulse racing
I catch my breath
You lean in
I look up


Finally you speak
I breathe
It's hot
so hot
The truth is hot because
An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips Prov 24:26

New and Emerging

This is a PSA.
New Christian music and books.
So many new books and music to check out.
I feel guilty that I only share a song or two here or there when in reality Christian Lit and music is blood in my spiritual veins. So this is short list that touches the heart. So feel free to check them out.

1. Chris Tomlin: "Expectation" He is the reason for this post, right now his new single "I Will Follow" off of his Expectation album that drops November 16 is wonderful. Chris takes a break from his usual praise and worship sub genre and rocks it out with this song. So please go to iTunes and get this song ASAP.

2. Revive: "Blink" This single has soo much groove that I just bop my head to the beat and sing out the words at the top of my lungs.

3. FFH is back and it is beyond words. 5 or so years ago they dropped out of circulation and moved to South Africa. During this time they had another kid and Jeremy (lead singer) was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. This album Wide Open Spaces is closer to heart than most. This is What it Feels Like, Undone, Stop the Bleeding just to name a few

How much farther must I go ‘til you to say that I’m broken?
How much heartache must I know for you to say, ‘Enough’s enough.
These are Jeremy's words but my thoughts.
Whew, I wish I had a job so i could pick it up today but alas I must wait.

4. Jeremy Camp:  "We Cry Out" Christian Soft Rock hasn't been the same since Jeremy hit the scene about a decade ago, his latest album, A worship project brings tears to my eyes

5. Israel Houghton:  "Love God Love People" I used to love Israel when he was hard core praise and worship but now he has this whole urban Christian thingy he is doing. I have the Power of One album but I only listen to 3 tracks regularly from it. So I'm  London Sessions album  "Love God Love People" that dropped yesterday and I'm hearing  "You won't let go of me, " on the You Hold My World track and now I'm sold. Welcome back Israel I missed you :). Now I'm listening to the track Hosanna and wow God is good.

6. Gaither Vocal Band: Greatly Blessed, Better Day. Southern Gospel at its best. I don't think I need to say more, you have all star vocals, with David Phelps tearing up the upper registers and Micheal English holding the center, throw in Bill and Mark and lil' boy Wes and it is almost angelic. I'm going to see them in concert in 30 days and yeah I can hardly wait.

7.Wess Morgan:  I Choose to Worship. Never heard of this guy until yesterday and now it's like hmmm, cool. Listen to him before you look at this picture and try and place the voice. You can't, it's beautiful, the blend. Ahh okay I'll stop with the music now.
This is a link to listen to the song via his website

8. Mary Beth Chapman:  "Choosing to See" When Steven Curtis Chapman lost his daughter we all gasped and wondered how God could allow such a tragedy to hit their family. When Steven brought out his album earlier this year I was blown away and realized that his pain put into words is a gift that has illuminated my path and now his wife Beth brings puts to words her struggle over the last two years. If you are in pain, know someone who is in pain check this book out ASAP

9. Max Lucado:  "Out Live Your Life" I love Max, i've read all his books and this new one has me thingy about how being a Christian has to be contagious to the point where we speak less and pray more and it just oozes off of us with love. I dunno if this is possible but Max is back and I'm adding this to my public library reads

10. Stormie Omartian: My manfriend got me a book by this lady for graduation and since May I have bought 3 of her books to gift to others and read 2. Seriously she is a must read. My current read is "Just Enough Light for the Step I'm On: Trusting God in Tough Times". She also has a Praying series that you can check out, Power of a Praying WOman, Power of Praying for your Adult Children etc

okay I think i'm done for a while

An Unfamiliar look at a familar guy

Once upon a time there was a man named Abram. The Lord spoke to him and said“Get out of your country, from your family and from your father’s house, to a land that I will show you. I will make you a great nation; I will bless you and make your name great; and you shall be a blessing." (Gen 12: 1 -2). So Abram thought about it, decided that the Lord had some strong points but leaving behind his whole family would be a stretch and so Abram took Sarai his wife and Lot his brother’s son ,... (Gen 12:5)

On his journey south he hit popular spots like Bethel and Ai and then there was famine and he ended up in Egypt. Now Sarai is PHAT (physically hot and tempting) and Abram knew that even though the Lord told him to move, the Lord wouldn't really be able to protect his wife or provide for him so he decided that pimping his wife would be more financially beneficial and so he said to Sarai "So please tell them you are my sister. Then they will spare my life and treat me well because of their interest in you.”(Gen 12: 13 NLT)

And sure enough, Abram's plan worked  and "When the palace officials saw her, they sang her praises to Pharaoh, their king, and Sarai was taken into his palace.  Then Pharaoh gave Abram many gifts because of her—sheep, goats, cattle, male and female donkeys, male and female servants, and camels. (Gen. 12:15-16 NLT)

Unfortunately nothing lasts forever and Abram's half truth was found out and then they were all kicked out of  Egypt. To add insult to injury, Lot's servants and Abram's servants started quarreling because there wasn't enough grass for all the animals to feed on. Lot took the better portion of the land and Abram was let in the sticks.  A couple of years later Abram had to prepare for war and go and rescue Lot from some shady kings from the East. After the battle was won, does his ungrateful nephew thank him? No. He moves into Sodom and Gomorrah. whew (if only he had listened to the Lord and left Lot behind maybe he wouldn't have had to deal with this in the first place).

Anywayz life settles back down to semi-normal,  the Lord makes a covenant with Abram about kids and descendants, but Sarai is fixated on this new technique that trumps invitro-fertilization. Abram thought once more about the Lord's promise, realized that Sarai's servant Hagar would help speed things up so he pops a viagra pill and get's busy with Hagar.

13 years later, the Lord speaks to Abram, actually He appears to him, changes his name to Abraham, promises a child to post menopausal Sarah (also renamed) and blesses him. Lot pops back into the picture and Abraham intercedes for the townspeople of Sodom and G . Unfortunately Abraham sucks at bargaining, didn't go low enough and so Sodom and G is burnt to the ground.

Lot's family flees, his wife forgot her Jimmy Choo's shoes turns around turns into salt. His daughters wanted kids, got their father drunk and slept with him. Incest, whew (if only Abraham had followed the Lord we might have been spared this mess with the Ammonites and the Moabites (Lot's children/grandchildren) that became a constant torn in the side of the Isrealities)

If only

Anywayz, Abraham traumatized by all this mess, moves to Gerar, pimps his wife AGAIN to King Abimelech. He was found out AGAIN, of course and then he turns around and blesses Abimelech.
He moves again, Sarah gives birth to Isaac, he banishes Hagar and Ishmeal (his viagra child) and lives happily ever after???


You see Abraham, like me, still doesn't get it. He likes to have a back-up plan. He likes to help God be God and so " ... it came to pass after these things, that God did tempt Abraham, and said unto him, Abraham: and he said, Behold, here I am."  (Gen. 22: 1 KJV)

The Lord said, take your ONLY son and go chop off his head.
Abraham woke up the next morning and took his ONLY son, without telling his interfering beautiful wife Sarah what really was going down, and headed for Mount Moriah.

Isaac thinks his father doesn't have it all together, so respectfully he inquires about the sheep for the sacrifice.
This is the perfect opportunity for Abraham to pause, agree with Isaac about the insanity of this quest and turn around.
This is usually the time Abraham pulls out his hat a lamb or some other back up plan to assist the Lord but surprisingly enough he finally gets it and says "son, God will provide for Himself the lamb for a burnt offering.” (Gen 22:8)

He finally gets it
and we know how the story ends
how Abraham lives happily 

but here is another unfamiliar part we gloss over
(Gen 22:11 MSG) Just then an angel of God called to him out of Heaven, "Abraham! Abraham!"   "Yes, I'm listening." 

what would have happened if Abraham wasn't listening?
what would have happened if Abraham was too ticked off at God to listen to him that day?
what would have happened if the last thing Abraham heard from the Lord was that he should kill sacrifice his son?

Abraham would have killed Isaac and believed he was following the will of God

so in conclusion
back up plans are wonderful for your peace of mind but always back fire when God is concerned
Faith is easy and cool when you have a back up plan.
Faith is hard and involves total surrender when you don't have one.
Listening is crucial at every point, every single point in your walk with God.

goodnight y'all

unless otherwise noted the translation is NKJV

161.2 pounds and counting

I gained weight.
Wait, I didn't gain it,
it's not a gain it's a curse forced upon me
by the powers that be see they kept me awake
a meeting with Cheesecake at  2 a.m.
and another with Milkshake at 2 p.m.
I thought they just wanted to chill goodwill i thought was offered to 
help fill the gap that was created when Academics walked out on me.
But here I am now.
Sitting, and getting intimately acquainted with this extra ten 
It wasn't sudden
It wasn't drastic
It was slow and beautiful.
Like swaying in the moonlight to a familiar tune
My sister was oblivious and my mother said I never looked better
but here I am
161.2 pounds and counting

All it took was 30 days
it started with clandestine meetings at midnight
then the opposition got bolder and made contact in daylight
Salad was forced out and Pizza quietly moved in
Taking up residence in my intestines
Fries took it's time and now whole wheat bread is stuck in the toolshed
only remembered in desperate times with digestion gets rough

here I am
My jeans no longer fit
my beautiful grey outfit now sits high on my thighs
my sister and friends now magically sees the difference
and comment on my waist
but what a waste the warning comes to late
for here I am
161.2 pounds and counting.

Each time I climb up the stairs I am made aware by the pace of my heart
I thought I was smart but I played the part unaware that each choice,
each slippery delicious fry that i didn't deny has now contributed to the new size of my thighs.

So now each day I get up and try
Old friends I avoided I now seek daily
Miss. Treadmill, Dr. Elliptical and Mr. Free weights
Luckily for me they took me back willingly
The road is tough, and progress has been slow
but as I slip down to 159.8 I breathe a sigh of relief

I will get there, I will get there somehow
It will take more than a month but each day I'll stay the course
sniffle sniffle
If only I knew then what I know now. It is easier to gain a pound than it is to lose one.

I see the parallel and hopefully you do to.
continual compromise coupled with secrecy
leads you down a path of sin and hopefully you awake before you reach the gates of hell.
Hopefully the weight of your sin jars you back to reality and you seek His face
Hopefully the unbuttonable spiritual jeans help you realize that it is slow and it is sweet and the road is wide that leads to spiritual obesity

C.S. summed it up in Screwtape Letters
The safest road to hell is the gradual one - the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts.


Great minds discuss ideas,
average minds discuss events, 
small minds discuss  people ---- Eleanor Rooservelt

So let's talk

Here are some quotes from the video and article if you don't have the time to watch/read it

The church shouldn't be the place where you are coming to find a man. 

Do I think that all men that go to church are good men. NO ABSOLUTELY NOT! 

"If their strategy for meeting men is failing, Cooper offers two suggestions: Find another church or leave-and go where the boys go: tailgates, bars and clubs."

One of biggest reasons black women are single, Cooper says, is because of a lack of black men in the church. According to the PEW study, "African-American men are significantly more likely than women to be unaffiliated with any religion (16 percent vs. 9 percent). Nearly one-in-five men say they have no formal religious affiliation."

Watkins believes the social structure of the church keeps black men from attending. "Those appealing, high-testosterone guys have a hard time getting into the 'Follow the leader, give me your money, and listen to what I have to say' attitude."

"Many of us have a difficult time submitting to the pastor who is just another man."

So have at it

Do you think the church structure provides a negative environment that men cannot thrive in?

Men in the church, can they be trusted?

What are your thoughts when you think of the amount of time women spend trying to get dressed for church and look good, do you question their motives?

What are your thoughts in general about this article?


Deepest Fears: II, III and IV

Suppressing joy
Stifling all laughter
Stretching trivialities
Smothering all the tears
Stressing suicidal thoughts
Straining the drops of delight
Substituting reality with fantasy
Seducing slowly the heart and mind
Sustaining the lies that tear my soul apart
Sapping the remaining strength from my core

Over three years ago I wrote those words in a series on fear.
Untitled 1
Untitled 2
Deepest Fears: 1

This month I find myself re-reading Max Lucado's book Fearless,  because I'm back in that yucky place.
Maybe it's worse or maybe it's just different
but for some reason i'm back in prison
a slave of my own imagination
strapped 6 feet under in a coffin of my creation
i am warden and prisoner
enforcer and victim
and i can't shake it.

Deepest Fear #2
I can't do this much longer
This believing that He can and He doesn't
Hoping and dreaming and planning and depending and only getting silence in return
So i fear that the moment I give up is 2 seconds before he works a miracle
but i fail to recieve it because i just can't wait

Deepest Fear #3
I deluded myself
Good stuff doesn't just happen because you pray and you follow His will
maybe I am suppose to cut corners to succeed in order to be with the man I Love
maybe my definition of following His will is too strict and needs to be diluted a bit
So I fear that after all this right living I end up spending my life here alone.
Oh, of course I'm assured heaven because He is all that to me but for the x amount of years that I'm stuck on earth I'm miserable

Deepest Fear #4
Not only different chapters but different books
I want X and He is determined to give me A
and so I spend ANOTHER 5 YEARS in pain because what I want differs and HE DOESN'T SPEAK ENGLISH and so I'm left wondering and wandering
tip toeing thru' life
never being sure

I think I'm getting ready to quit
cuz I know He loves me, but then His idea of love is my idea of pain 
and I never know what His will is anyway so why should I stress it
I mean there is grace
and it covers all

so live life without these fears
and chase after what i want
break any rule that needs to be broken 
the silence, the not knowing, the Will of the One that doesn't speak English
what's the point

in conclusion
Fear is a dangerous taskmaster
the progression is slippery
Christ gave roughly 120 commands in the New Testament
and Fear Not or a derivative appear over 20 times
second place goes to "Love God and love others"... and it only appears 8 times

so yeah 
Fear NOT
not exactly sure how this is suppose to work cuz i'm crippled by fear but yeah I'll get back to you on that

forgive my playlist
I have been on the Gaither addiction for the last two weeks not sure when it is going to end, cuz there is something about the old songs that just ....

More than a Conqueror Prologue

A conqueror is one who derives satisfaction from the spoils of war.
Never, a conqueror is defined by battles won and conquests earned.
Turn and take a look to your left, there he stands undefeated.
Chest out, smiling as they recount his acts of greatness.
But you, you are more.

Look deeply and one will see that conquerors allow situations to define them but you instead find strength in the knowledge of your worth.

You are much more.

Much more than the titles affixed by man
Or the labels given by society.
More than the disease that riddles your body
You are much more,
More than the degrees earned in the academic halls of this land
Or the money stored up by man to insure against the unplanned.

You are more than your past attempts at victory
Much more than the bruises that mark each fall
More than the stares and jeers.

You are more than size of your jeans or your parents’ biological genes that convened to physically fit you
Catch a clue and see that you are not defined by status, but by a calmness that the world envies.
You are much more,
More than the acquired cars, houses and electronic toys.

Boys without a clue of their origin,
You are more than the evolutionary school of thought that claims you descend from apes.
You are much more than the pessimistic school of thought that sees every opportunity as a waiting failure.
You are much, much more than the narcissistic school of thought that seeks to elevate self at the expense of a friend.

You are more than his unbridled passion that seeks to conquer
Bruised but not broken, you are Love, Mercy, Peace, Kindness
Hope, Joy, Truth, Happiness
You are more

You are so much more.
You are more than a conqueror
You are more than all conquerors

cuz "Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us." Romans 8:37

This is for two women that I admire.
Today one walked in the rain to take the BAR exam and the other cried for a dream lost to a partner’s indiscretion.
This is part 1, hopefully i will get the conclusion out before my wisdom tooth drives mii insane