A new level: pain called praise

i tried to cute this one up, i tried (for about 2 seconds),
but tears still flow so here it is

*********************************************************
Pain still fresh i thought it was defined,
all aspects covered in my mind but once again i am caught off guards by it's intensity
Pain anew, rings true and shatters all past illusions of its identity,
proving once more that as a follower of hope
i must endure the inevitable consequence of hope

Yes, hope has a consequence,
it's never talked about in parties
but instead tucked away in the dark recesses of the mind
shoved behind layers of prayers, pleas, bargains and dreams.

but it remains, hope creates expectations,
expectations unfulfilled results in disappointment,
unexpected disappointment ushers in pain.
a new pain a beautiful pain that stuns the hopeful into screams of silence

**************
It hurts to mourn with those who mourn
but it hurts even more to rejoice when you want to mourn
it stings to praise and rejoice with those in celebration when your soul cries
when each day that goes by decreases your chances and .....
but you smile for them even tho' u don't know if u will ever see the sun on u

new level, new depth, for real i didn't know it would have such an enormous effect
so yeah, this pain called praise demands your all, it requires a certain level of selflessness that
reminds you of your selfishness and further convinces you of your weakness and utter dependence, it forces you to confront your desire for presents instead of presence and not so subtlety questions your faith.

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this isn't want i want to say, but this is what came out so maybe in a week when the wounds aren't so fresh i can speak in a comprehensible manner, i don't like how it ended hmmmmmmm but yeah i need to focus on something a lil' less morbid before this week starts so yeah happy easter, i'm out.

13 comments:

simeone said...

hmmmmm..kafo ki lo sele..?..
this is really really deep...
the Lord Himself is the strength of your life....
happy easter..

Robyn said...

God has His reasons.
But all i know is they are good.
No matter how painful it gets.
stay with Christ.

Remi, United Kingdom said...

Aweeee.... wassup luv?

I don't know what it is you are going through, but I agree with Simeone, God is your strength.

It is well with you my dear, God is faithful and will make everything beautiful and perfect for you.

Happy Easter.

Lots of Love

Kafo said...

@ simeone: amen oooooooooooooooo

@ Robyn: true

@ Remi: happy easter to u too

Debbie said...

I relate with this piece on a personal level, the bible puts it this way, hope differs makes the heart sick.
Each day that goes by decreases your chances, hmmm! but God is the strenght of our live and our portion for ever.
He will come through for us no matter what we are going through that is a hope that is sure and, he will surely come through for us.

Peace as we remember and celebrate the risen Lord.

The poets voice ~~~ said...

I can relate with the pain that emerges when you have to rejoice but really want to mourn..it stings so much.

But wat's up Kafo?
I knw the Lord will wipe your tears. He took the pain for you already so may every pain in your life be buried!


P.S thnx for letting me about the blog thing..I'm still working on it.If u stop by there again, let me knw if it works now. thnx

KM said...

*hug*

Olamild said...

ahwwwwwww

It is well with you Kafo
It is well

Telekinesys said...

I feel you.

'Even to your old age and gray hairs, I am he,I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you;I will sustain you and I will rescue you.'
Isaiah 46:4TNIV

LusciousRon said...

Hope you are feeling much better now. Take it esay.

Daydah said...

My prayers are for you to overcome it all this yr...will hav to pray harder... it is well my sister...thanks for dropping by my blog

deola said...

It is well, really it is

Buttercup said...

Aww sweetie..I'm sorry u r going/went through pain..