Seeing you makes mii cry
Each time you return
I can no longer deny
the truth.
To disguise the pain,
to maintain
this masquerade
I evade and
then persuade
Reality to retreat,
down these lonely streets.
But hugs and goodbyes
prompt tears in my eyes
and i'm forced to realize
that which cannot be disguised
by my lies.
It remains true
I am human bound by time.
school started before i got off the plane yesterday, i made it to both of my classes on time and was blown out of the water by my lack of brain cells. I am already swamped. I have to learn how to use UNIX and program in it, in a week, keep in mind that the last time i wrote a computer program was in 2004. So yeah, pray for miii oooooooooooooooooo. I will make a concerted effort to NOT abandon this blog.

Summer Consumption: 5 - Sex is NOT the problem

I have about 6 more days before i have to go back to Houston, heat and school and i would be lying if I told you that i was ready and looking forward to it. There was this list of things to do and places to go and books to read and it seems like I am not even 25% into the list, for instance there are at least 10 books that I haven't even opened and i was really scared that i was going to end the summer without a 5 star book but VIOLA, here it is

I did not read I kissed dating Goodbye because i didn't date and still don't
I did not read Stop dating the Church because I am addicted to my church and can't church hop
I did not read Boy Meets Girl because I was angry at Joshua Harris for kissing dating goodbye
so yeah there is nothing up until now that recommends this guy or his books to me, it's like Joel Osteen something about him prevents mii from reading his books (do not gasp!)
I am not going to tell you about this book because there is soo much to say and I don't want to focus on one issue instead of another and make you think that this book is about A and not Q
so yeah

read this book if
  1. You are in a relationship and boundaries cause issues
  2. You want to know more about masturbation and the Bible stand
  3. You want to be sexually pure in every way
  4. You have a hard time forgiving yourself for last night
  5. You think the way you dress shouldn't affect him
  6. You don't plan to have sex before you get married
  7. You are over the age of 10 and have a pulse
  8. You are single, married or divorced.
  9. You like sex
  10. You love God

so yeah two thumbs wayyyy up
and 5 out of 5 stars

No book is perfect but there is a wealth of knowledge that will help to agressively pursue God's will knowing full well that you WILL screw up and that everything you can do really can't measure up to what is needed to redeem your soul.

I'm planning on starting a book club in my church in Houston just so that we can read this book. Right now I am flipping thru Lies Women Believe and Jesus for President

Sabbath Series: 8- Forgiveness

In church,
last Sabbath
this is my mind.

Are You serious?
She defines the word hypocrit
Talking about praying twenty four seven
If she were my chaplain
I'd call the hangman
or pray for a handgun
to end it so i wouldn't have to listen
I can't do this
This smile that she has
where was it

where was the smile
during the years of pain
that coursed thru our veins
where was the support
before the report
that exposed her cohort
where was the support
after the report
Calm down.
Why, they messed up bigtime
where was the remorse
where was the repentence
which would have come at no expense
we should have taken offense
when she built the fence to seperate
Do we look dense
to stomach this nonsense
Listening to her talk sweet words
She talks beauty
where was the humility

and diplomacy
when she sanctioned slander
three feet from the altar
okay maybe that is a slight exaggeration, Lord

it was like what
seven feet no more like twelve
just outside the sanctuary but still in the church
plans to besmirch
your ordained and chosen
and it is starting again
oh what a web we allow them to weave
this web of deciet and lies
by our complacency
Forgive, my child.
While they baptize and prophesize
we say our goodbyes
and let righteous die
instead of an outcry
we fold our hands and theorize
but this is not my fault

Did she really expect a hug to change it all
expect us to forget
talking on the radio
to boost the family ego
the dynamic duo
Bonnie and Clyde
hurling spitball accusations
dragging your church's name thru the mud
seeking blood
spreading hatred
ah yes, you
i really can't say anything about him
right? even tho' he gave this vulture wings to fly
i can't say anything about him
even tho' he perpetuates this decietful cycle
i can't say anything about him
even tho' he rewards the dishonest and unjust
i can't say anything about him
even tho' ...
i'll stop
because lashing him would offend You
because he is a chosen minister
is he?
Lord he was ordained to lead but what happens now
Cupid Conference
My child, vengence is mine.
do i look like i am five
thinking she can buy mii with a hug
or a smile
this is so vile
but then it is their style
the others they try and buy off with food
in an effort to set the right mood
subdued, they won't intrude
or is it gifts
they choose to use to mend this rift
give the church another facelift
and hope that we are dense
and will stomach this nonsense
She is DEAD
egba mii oooooooooooo
in the last ten minutes two of them have mentioned her
Am i the only person on this planet
that realizes that talking about a dead person in present tense is wack
they need to get over themselves
and stop lauding those who dead
which part of the dead know nothing in
Ecclesiastic don't they understand
no u just force doctrine down our throats and
expect us to live the truth that you preach
and teach
and forget this latest speech
because i really doubt that she fooled anyone
okay maybe a couple of clueless brethren
Forgive, my daughter.
stop, stop telling mii to forgive them
those that condemn and cause mayhem
and steal and missue Your money
i am suppose to forgive these people
and try and be peaceful
instead of using my spiritual pistol
why can't i just pistol whip them with Your word
this is so absurd!!!
let mii set this record
for no reward
with your sword
straight up
i could start with talents in Matthew 25
then remind them of Sapphira fate in Acts five
David wouldn't touch Your anointed in 1 Sam. twenty six
that should remind them of spiritual ethics
i could work my way to the abominations in Proverbs 6

and let them know this isn't the path to heaven
Ai and Achan in Joshua six and seven
should let them know nothing is hidden
from your sight
prayers that are trite
are dealt with in Isaiah one
Matthew chapter 3 would let them know
repentence is the only option
First John first chapter verse nine
would realign this decline and
set a deadline
to end this mess
they need to confess
Please, Lord
let mii speak, let mii shout
let mii lay these people out
forgive, 'cuz i've forgiven you



Have you wanted to do something that meant something on a day that is numerical unique?

For the last 13 weeks i have been part of a project to raise money for Abel Cruz a young man with cancer in Texas. Our time has been spent making flyers, business cards, organizing events, calling corporations just to raise money so that he can have a much needed bone marrow transplate.

On Tuesday Abel died.

$800 in 24 hours
today is 08.08.08
which if you add that all up is 24

so for some wierd reason i believe that we can raise this money
The funds are still needed to pay off his hospital debt. We can raise this money so that his family can look back and smile and thank God for the life he lived instead of working to pay off his medical bills

100 people donating 8 bucks makes a lifetime of difference.


please spread the word and let mii know how much you donated and how much you got your friends and family to donate.

We can do this.

Thank You

Summer Consumption: 4- The 10 Commandments of Dating

Okay this continues my whole I am trying to understand relationships and sexuality and all that jazz.

So yeah two smart guyz put together a book and here are the 10 Commandments according to them.

  1. Thou shalt get a life

  2. Thou shalt use your brain

  3. Thou shalt be equally yoked

  4. Thou shalt take it slow

  5. Thou shalt set clear boundaries

  6. Thou shalt save sex for later

  7. Thou shalt not play house

  8. Thou shalt fight fairly

  9. Thou shalt not ignore warning signs

  10. Thou shalt choose wisely

Now some of these are clear cut and what you would expect but there are a couple of suprises. Commandment Number 3 is not just about being unequally yoked spiritually but include other areas in which you might be yoked differently. I think I liked Commandment Number 2 the best, there was this acronym for the BRAIN

Balance the head and heart
Refrain from physical intimacy
Analyze your past relationships
Include others in the process
Never neglect opportunities to evaluate along the way

Not exactly two thumbs up, more like one and a quarter.
There is something that rubs mii wrong when people portray men as only wanting sex and women as only wanting commitment. Yeah, maybe I am just naive and need to believe that the primary goal of every man is not just to get into my pants, but yeah, my perogative, I think it was in the chapter on Not living together that they said Men only move in for free sex and i was like OKAY....... and yeah then there is the whole women acquiensce to sex just for intimacy as if we are not hot blooded humans ourselves.

So yeah good book with some antiquated assumptions but their suggestions are all valid and worthy of note. Oh, the book was written about 10 years ago so some of the references are out of date but i believe that their might be an updated version out there. All in all 3.9 stars out of 5


Army Wives.
Last summer, i was bored out of my mind and while i was flicking thru channels I came across this show, Army Wives, on Lifetime. Now let mii just preface this post by saying that I have a HUGE bias against Lifetime, it seems that everytime i end up on the station, some teenager is winding up pregnant, or her mom is getting the living daylights beat out of her by her boyfriend who she thought was dead but he came to life. Oh and let's not forget the drama of high school. So yeah, let's just say i stay away from the station.

So as i was saying i stumble across this show and fall in love with it and the drama of these women who have married military men. So this summer, season 2 is about to start but i couldn't really remember what happened during season 1, so i put the dvd on hold at the library and waited in anticipation so that i can relive last summer's drama before plunging into this summer's.

Last Wednesday after much waiting the library contacted mii that the Season one was waiting for mii and i jumped into the car and rushed over to get it.

I am spending the summer with my sister and her roommate and I told them both that they had to watch ONE episode.
41 minutes and if they did not fall in love with the show they didn't have listen to mii harp at them anymore about the show. On Thursday everybody was tired so i don't think we even put on the TV. Friday came and i reminded them to watch it but they didn't. Saturday night my sister fell asleep before I got back home but when her roommate got back I once again reiterated the point and told her to just watch the first couple of scenes and if she didn't like it she should stop.
She did and was hooked.

On Sunday, I literally dragged my sister to sit in front of the TV and watched the first two episodes with her and she was like her roommate was hooked.

Sunday night i had to go to bed early so I left them watching episdoe 5 thinking that they would watch one or two of them and then go to bed.

They were up until 8 am and watched the whole first season.
And now they are both going thru the second season.

So I should be glad, right?
I sold a product and they bought it?

They spent over 10 hours over the last 3 days watching a TV show that I recommended.

So i deserve a round of applause, right?
but for some reason i am not elated,

yeah i did pause for half a second to give myself a pat on the back but that was it

you see i can't remember the last time i promoted something spiritual to my sisters with that much enthusiam.
Something that would bring them closer to Christ and not just entertain them. Something that would change not only their faces but their hearts.


So yeah.

What are you promoting?

Summer Consumption: 3- 10 Prayers God Always Says Yes To

So my uncle (Pastor T) recommended this book because he heard my boy (Pastor Dwight K. Nelson) refer to it in one of his sermons. Now the instructions when I recieved the book were to read the last chapter, Chapter 10. Of course I have a hard time following instructions and so i spent a whole month trying to get thru the first two chapters. SLOW, boring, non inspiring.

Then finally a week before my uncle is about to board a plan to Naija and take his book with him I finally fast forward to the last chapter and I am blown away by the sheer genius of the book.

So here are the ten prayers
  1. I wish I could believe.
    God show me that You exist.

  2. Why should I get involved?
    God make mii an instrument

  3. What's in it for mii?
    God, outdo mii in generosity

  4. I Can't take it anymore.
    God, get mii thru this suffering

  5. Am I a terrible person?
    God, forgive mii

  6. This stress is killing mii.
    God give mii peace

  7. Ok, I admit it, I'm afraid.
    God, give mii courage

  8. Sometimes being smart just isn't enough.
    God give mii wisdom

  9. Will I ever be happy again?
    God bring good out of this bad situation

  10. Why am i here anyway!
    God lead me to my destiny

so yeah 4 out of 5 stars. It is a short book, an easy read with lots of scripture reference. The author is a bit redundant and the opening three chapters are slow, so maybe I should adjust my rating and change it to 3.5 stars out of 5.

The last two chapters are hot tho'

for real.