Summer Consumption: 1- REAL SEX

I would never EVER have picked up a box on sex this time last year or the year before that or the 22 years that preceded that one but earlier this month I felt the need to educate myself not on sex but on chasity because like any Christian in relationship I now have to set boundaries on what is kosher and what is not.

Let mii preface this by saying that there are some things that are on the DON'T DO list and SEX along with Drugs and Alcohol top that list but then there is a lot of gray area between holding hands and doing the deed, so yeah and being that talking about sex in church is a moot issue (they make it seem like it is the ANTICHRIST) i turn next to books for advice (yes i know i should ask my Pastor in private and all that jazz but then my pastor is my uncle so yeah let's just say that i will be on the next plain to Otun Ekiti where i will live out the rest of my years feeding the homeless)

So yeah, I wish I could say that this book is all that and that is answers all the questions but it doesn't.

This book
  1. Reiterates the point that sex should be between a married man and woman
  2. Dispells some myths that society and the church have about sex
  3. Educates the reader on how sex is a communal thing (i think this was the most original part of the book)
  4. Offers tips on how to remain pure: i think my fave. part was when she said if you can't do it in front of your father don't do it at all WHATTTTTTTTTTTTT (okay then she said that being that that is kinda Freudian and creepy you should use the Rotunda rule)
  5. Is real, of course being that this is my first relationship/sex/chastity book I am not yet an expert.
  6. Ties in pornography and masturbation and I must admit adequately informs the reader on how it is just part of the slippery slope

This book does not

  1. Draw the line on what is kosher and what is not (DANG)
  2. Preach on how Sex is the devil's younger brother's son
  3. Use Biblical text to develop her statements (but then there is nothing on porn in scripture)
  4. Try and convince you that you shouldn't have sex, it just states the fact as they exist.

All in all, I give this book 3 stars. Read it if you nothing else to do and if you are curious about community and sex, porn, masturbation and ROTUNDAS. The beginning is kinda boring tho'


Jason said...

Your "what is kosher or not" boundary question makes me think of ethics (i had to study it for this big test I have coming up)... The 3 questions my book (about ethics) told me to ask myself were: 1. Is it legal?, 2. Is it balanced? (meaning that the action would be fair to all involved) and 3. How will it make me feel about myself?
Being that i have been there and made many mistakes before, all that I can advice to you is walk a thin line, or in eggshells if you prefer... dont get carried away by the heat of the moment... aim to honor yourself, your presend bf and future husband (who may or may not be the same person), and above all, GOD with your ALL your actions. Your conciousness and your emotions will thank you later.

Kafo said...

hey BELLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA thanks i know i still owe you like 5 calls, will get around to it I WILL :) laterzzzzz

DiAmOnD hawk said...

hiya kafo... been a minute...
featured the same song you have on your blog on mines last week... hmmmm
anyways hope you're good... when you find a book that tackles your "does not" list... let us know! :-)

Jaycee said...

Those who seek for knowledge will receive it. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled.

The answers will

My mum gave me my first book on relationships last year...honestly, I can't even get to finish the book. Lollll. It wasn't a Christian book, it was by some Dr. Although the bible makes no mention of porn or sex per se, I guess that's where I get most of my advise from for my relationship. Lol.

BOUNDARIES are very important...I can't even underestimate them. One thing I know is that you actually have to TALK to mister about this...talking about boundaries is what makes the difference. Knowing about them but not talking about them is a dangerous zone. All the best darling!

OluwaDee said...


A.I really haven't found the book that actually answers all em questions. I feel its better u talk 2 a fellow guy, a bit older n Christian.

Pray bout it thought n ask God 4 insight.

The Life of a Stranger called me said...

A most needed to talk about topic in a relationship. I cant express how important parties should be on same page..

Jaycee said...

I'm really feeling the love medley!

Kafo said...

@ DIAMOND: long time where have you been, anywayz i was checking in on your page to see if you had updated and i saw the song and yeah let us just say that i stole the song from u, WILL YOU FORGIVE MII

@ life of a stranger: we are on the same page and i guess that is what makes it a whole lot easier

@ oluwadee: i am going to write that book, will you buy a copy.

@ JAYCEE: please i stop by your page and heard the song i needed to hear but haven't heard in about a month, thank YOU.

rethots said...

'tis funny but, something tells me instinctically we know what we ought to. But, being human.....reading it seems to reinforce what we already know.

His Word may not have treated every issue individually but, it certain give us knowledge (& depth) which i believe all that matters.

Interesting subject though...... What is the acceptable extent one can go? Ultimately, boundaries should not (just) be set in the mind but, be thoroughly discoursed.

What hails thee, Unspoken?

The Life of a Stranger called me said...

any chnace of an UPDATE? lol.

Allied said...

Omo otun ni e?

Please let me know when u find a book..

Uzo said...

For a moment i thought this post was about the HBO series Real Sex...

Not too interested about reading a serious book about sex (LOL) but i might just check this out...

Today's ranting said...

hmmm wat can i say? easy babes.