Sabbath Series: 7 - Unfinished chapter

Sometimes it is best if you first read it all
This is the first day that i have had internet access since Monday, my sister was in the ICU (she got discharged earlier today, THANK GOD) so i changed my flight plans and instead of going to Indy came to Portland. So anywayz, i'm in her room on Tuesday morning after about 2 hours of sleep and I'm trying to find the strength to go on and be courageous and all that jazz, so yeah, i'm in her room and my Message bible opens to Lamentations 3 and i start to read...

I'm the man who has seen trouble,
trouble coming from the lash of God's anger.
He took me by the hand and walked me
into pitch-black darkness.
Yes, he's given me the back of his hand
over and over and over again.
He turned me into a scarecrow

of skin and bones, then broke the bones.
He hemmed me in, ganged up on me,
poured on the trouble and hard times.

He locked me up in deep darkness,
like a corpse nailed inside a coffin.
He shuts me in so I'll never get out,

manacles my hands, shackles my feet.
Even when I cry out and plead for help,
he locks up my prayers and throws away the key.
He sets up blockades with quarried limestone.
He's got me cornered.

He's a prowling bear tracking me down,
a lion in hiding ready to pounce.
He knocked me from the path and ripped me to pieces.
When he finished, there was nothing left of me.
He took out his bow and arrows
and used me for target practice.
He shot me in the stomach

with arrows from his quiver.

Everyone took me for a joke,
made me the butt of their mocking ballads.
He forced rotten, stinking food down my throat,
bloated me with vile drinks.
He ground my face into the gravel.

He pounded me into the mud.I gave up on life altogether.
I've forgotten what the good life is like.
I said to myself, "This is it. I'm finished.
God is a lost cause."



Then the door opens and OREGON (this would be the man that she loves that the rest of the family wish she wouldn't) walks in. I say hi and then try and go back to my reading...

I'll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness,
the taste of ashes, the poison I've swallowed.
I remember it all—oh, how well I remember—
the feeling of hitting the bottom.
But there's one other thing I remember,
and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:

God's loyal love couldn't have run out,
his merciful love couldn't have dried up.
They're created new every morning.
How great your faithfulness!



Wow. stop this is the verse. His mercies are new every morning, Great is thy faithfulness. Hmmm... after all the tears and pain God is faithful sweet.

and then i stopped and got distracted by OREGON snoring (technically he came to visit my sister but ending up sleeping in my chair. Nonsense) and then I started thinking of all the things I wanted tell him but didn't because my sister is engaged to him and all that jazz and then they said they were transfering her back to the regular ward and so i became occupied and forgot about Jeremiah.


About four hours later we are walking to his car and he says something that pisses mii off and i told him to basically agree to not address mii until we got to their apartment cuz i didn't really want to sit in the car and listen to his opinion on anything and next thing i know he is calling my sister (who still has tubes plugged into her) and talking about calling security on mii. (child couldn't handle his own buziness he had run to a sick women in the hospital whoseyingggggg)

WHAT THE FLIPMODE SQUAD!!!!!
yeah let's just say the next hour wasn't really my shining Christian moment.

For the next four days I didn't open the Bible and let's just say that iu spent my prayer time cursing him out to God, so yeah it was still a prayer but still.....
Last night i had a mini crisis of faith and of course CSO (cool significant other otherwise know as boyfriend by the gen. public) helped mii thru it

and then

Today before OREGON came to pick us up from the hospital I decided to finish the passage

I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over).
He's all I've got left.
God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits,

to the woman who diligently seeks.
It's a good thing to quietly hope,
quietly hope for help from God.

It's a good thing when you're young
to stick it out through the hard times.
When life is heavy and hard to take,

go off by yourself. Enter the silence.
Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions:
Wait for hope to appear.....


Enter the silence, bow in prayer, don't ask questions?
Enter the silence, bow in prayer, don't ask questions?
Hmmm
Enter the silence, bow in prayer, don't ask questions.

now i am thinking if i finished the passage and even the chapter the past five days wouldn't have been as emotionally tasking as it was physically (took a shower once in the five days wore the same clothes and slept on a chair)

Hmmmmm

so yeah

Happy Sabbath and help mii to continue to pray that God gives my sister sense and strength cuz she sorely needs both
oh
and that in the next 48 hours that i am here i do what Jesus would do.

5 comments:

KM said...

Jeremiah gave you good advice sweetheart; go do.

I didn't realize y'all had issues with the brother but hope you'll work it out soon enough because when "They Do," it'll be done. You're already blood via God: acc. to Genesis & Acts we are all related. So... I'm not going to offer you the easy path. You know where you need to walk. :)

I also know it's a difficult thing to deal with difficult people and difficult situations, and you're all in a difficult situation. So please be patient with yourself, and be patient with the brother too.

Glad to see you back, sis. :)

Jaycee said...

How did the last 48 hours go???

"It's a good thing when you're young
to stick it out through the hard times.
When life is heavy and hard to take,
go off by yourself. Enter the silence.
Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions:
Wait for hope to appear.....
"

May your FAITH never die. May your STRENGTH never die. May the God that ANSWERS by fire (like He did for Elijah) always be there when you need Him. May you always remember that God can never be a SECOND LATE. He always shows up at the RIGHT TIME...even after all the suffering and pain...

I trust ur beauriful sis up there is doing wayy better now. God dey!

*smile*

Jaycee said...

This was a beautiful sabbath post by the way...forgot to mention that...lol

Kafo said...

@ KM: i am not liking you at this point :( but you are right so yeah, true, mercy this WWJD stuff is easier said than done thanks

@ Jaycee: yes we spent the last 2 days just talking no shouting and she was able to make some positive decisions that i pray she follows thru with in the coming months.

KM said...

Lol Kafo, it's ok :)
I hope you're feeling at least a little better. It does get easier with time.