Brief Haitus


My laptop battery is dead
NO! My ac adaptor is dead
and soooo my battery can't charge
It has been dying for the last couple of days
so sad
and the replacement doesn't come till next Wednesday
So yeah.
in the words of the Governator

Dilemma at 10:11 pm

the phone rings
i look at it
it keeps ringing
and i do nothing
then it stops.
15 minutes later

it rings again
and i look at it
it keeps ringing
and i just look at it.
i think and wonder
finally, i pick up
but it disconnects
so i hit re-dial
it goes to fax,
i hang up
and wait and then
the phone rings.
i pick up
immediately this time
u say "Hey beautiful"
and I smile.


The greatest want in the world is the want of men;
men who will not be bought or sold;
men who in their inmost souls are true and honest,
men who do not fear to call sin by its right name;
men whose conscience is as true to duty as the needle to the pole;
men who will stand for the right though the heavens fall. –Ellen G. White


You are not defined by wealth
So quit stockpiling riches
conniving and lying just to make a dollar
You justify shirking your responsibilities
by saying your chasing the American dream
but in reality you are buying more toys
to compensate for your low self esteem
your money does not make you a man

You are not defined by position
So quit scheming and backstabbing

those you say are your friends
You climb up the ladder with invisible glass ceilings
trying to serve the man in order to become the man
but in reality you are just one pawn on this board
in this pursuit of so called self actualization
Your job does not make you a man

You are not defined by education
So quit using big words and feigning knowledge
Presenting others people ideas as your own
Making sure you win every discussion
Spouting philosophical theories
whosheying! Please,
Intelligence is not measured by degrees
Wasting time, memorizing words of dead white men
Your title does not make you a man

You are not defined by mii
You are not defined by any daughter of Eve
So quit boasting about those you think you’ve tamed
Measuring your essence by the size of your dick
Marking your bedpost each time you get laid
Talking out the side of your mouth
whosheying! Please,
Character is not measured by words
Wasting time, working constantly on your game,
Your charm does not make you a man


Every since moving to Cali I have been overwhelmed with testosterone.
I live with my Uncle and his family and there are these two other guys, ages 23 and 25 that also crash in his place and every where I go there are uncles who knew mii when I was 4.
This is reminiscient of the whole Junior/Senior year in college where I'm the solo female in the group.
I’m in church today and the pastor says this quote and boom the words start to flow.
Now being that I CAN'T tell this to all the boys that act like men that I know
I'm share it with y’all instead.

I couldn't figure out a way to end it tho.
so i think i have to answer the question and say exactly what makes a man a man
I think we need a conclusion



This was after a full nite or should i say a full pre-dawn day of crying. Seriously, when I thought I had no more tears I drank a bottle of water and found a box of Kleenex and started again and then around 10 am (after 7 hours of weeping) I was like go to bed and so I did and then I had nightmares or daymares and woke up and called Vietnam and they were like

Ah we have your purse
and I'm like SERIOUSLY, thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you

and then she said you can pick it up

and I'm thinking AHHHHHHHH Girl I don't need your permission

So yeah ppl. I have my purse.
Thank you all for the support. Seriously I was yeah. It was bad.


I'm tired


When you at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on --- Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Once again this is a case of quoter gone berserk. The statement seems innocent enough until you have one of those never ending days in which your nightmares come to pass.


I'm thinking
Now that I'm at the end of my rope, is talking about a knot the best way to cheer mii up
Now that I'm at the end of my rope talking about tying a knot is very dangerous. because being that I AM at the end of my rope when I think of a knot, I'm thinking of Judas' kind of knot.

I'm thinking
Now that I'm at the end of my rope, is tying a knot the best way to go out.
Now that you have planted the idea of suicide in my already addled mind I might become more creative and spice things up a bit. Would it be beneficial (wrong word, suicide CAN'T benefit anyone) okay less painful for mii to sit there and strangle myself.

I'm thinking food, good food OF COURSE
mixed with
Rat poisioning,

of course the thought has never crossed my mind

I've been in Cali for about 16 hours and all I want to do is exit stage left
I have managed to brake a wheel on my suitcase and lose my identity
I can't start working
I can't get a Cali license
I can't open a bank account
I can't drive
I can't get a new IN license w/o being present and presenting my non-existent SS card
I can't obtain a new SS card w/o committing a federal crime and presenting my license
I can't do anything
because my SSN card, license, all my credit AND charge cards AND gift cards have surreptioulsy disappeared.

Okay surreptiously is the wrong word
More like I MISPLACED (i don't want to use the word LOST because I might jinx it) MY FREAKING PURSE.
The day was going bad enough already, with the whole 100 degree temp.
I had managed to accomplish nothing and only cried twice and now this.

Here I am trying to stay awake a few minutes longer so that I can call all those nonsense companies that do not have 24 hour service for stolen cards. Mercy!

I guess one good thing about this is that 5 am in Cali is 8 on the east coast but then again I wouldn't have lost my identity if I hadn't gotten on a plane to come to this arid place.

I'm stopping

So yeah, please pray that it miraclously appears because that whole end of the rope thing is ... yeah. Let's just say that I need help

and sleep

good nite