Silence

Bewilderment has laid seige to my brain.

I was going to launch into an explanation of Woes III but the experience is too fresh and my brain is muddled. Muddled, NO! more like frantic, it's like my brain is scared of Bewilderment who is two seconds aware of taking over the castle and because of this Brain is acting like the inhabitants of Gondor (The White City in Lord of the Rings) running around defenseless with no plan. Seriously. When I try and gather my lil' peons together, to make sense of it all (that is what we logical people do) the formation ends up more screwed. So yeah, I guess I should just let it simmer until Aragorn comes or the city falls to Sauron.

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I have issues with silence. There is this guy who is great at silences and it drives mii loco. Seriously. I could be giving him the latest family drama and he is so silent. MERCY!!!. It's like HELLO!!!
Are you there??? Sometimes I am left wondering if he is even listening. I remember when we first started talking it used to drive me nuts but now I kinda cherish those moments. I embrace them (most of the time) because I know him. I know that after the silence comes this response that is like a Stradivarius violin, carefully and uniquely crafted for mii (and my animated ridden situation).

I have issues with silence. In church last week when a lady said that it is beautiful to just be able to sit next to a person and have the deepest conversation without words.
I'M LIKE WHAT!!!(of course I'm in church and can't get up in the middle and start telling her how unrealistic that is) I really did try and imagine just sitting there and having this fulfilling conversation without words but I couldn't. I need words. I like words. I need a response. Any response would do. Seriously a slap, a nudge, a snore, a wink or a tap on my shoulder. One word. Any word.

The Silence of God

Dottie Peoples says when God is silent He's giving us more time to pray.

Micheal Card says that the silence of God can drive a man crazy.

I say that the silence of God is the worst kind of silence.


I call it Senseless Silence. When I say Senseless i'm not talking about it being without reason. No, I'm talking about all the senses being rendered useless. A silence that you can't see or touch or feel or hear or taste. It is there but you can't use any of your other senses to define it. Silence that exists on multiple dimensions. This I think is the Silence of God. Now you may disagree with mii and that is wonderful. I don't fully get it myself so I'll leave you with the words of Mark Jarman.

First forgive the silence
that answers prayer,
Then forgive the prayer
that stains the silence.
Excuse the absence
that feels like presence,
Then excuse the feeling
that insists on presence
Pardon the delay
of revelation
Then ask pardon for revealing
your impatience
Forgive God
for being only a word
Then ask God to forgive
the betrayal of language

12 comments:

disgodkidd said...

hmmm.

i always wanted to do a post like this - like forever. i call it "silence of the lamb" ... the lamb that don't protest as he dies for me.

but yes, i also know that silence of the lamb that literally drives you over the edge. the only good thing about that silence though, is that's when you find out that you have wings.

eddiie said...

You have been tagged...........

pamelastitch said...

I cherish my moments of silence - great post....

pammy

KM said...

Gun salute fi dat poem deh...

One of my uncle writes about silence, the silence in/of heaven, and the silence in/of the soul. The more you think about it the more interesting it is. It's not like silence as in the absence of sound; it's the presence of something, something that as you say renders us senseless, reminds us that we need filling, and shows us Who alone can do it...

Awesome.

classybabe said...

I love silence sometimes,there is a quote about silence conversations and friendship,can't remember it too well now

diary of a G said...

what can I say?
am speechless
thanks for coming thru

Lost Soul said...

wow! deep doesn't even begin to dwell on that. Sometimes when my "he" is silent I feel closer to him. Perhaps its the beauty of the silence that draws you deeper. How deep are you willing to go? How much more trust in God's silence are you willing to accept, live with? The silence that God gives demands so much faith, I don't know if I ever had that level of faith.

Queen of My Castle said...

WOW! I was once told that when God is not speaking it is because He's testing you on what you know and allowing you to take inventory of yourself so that you know not only what you are capable of, but also what hidden wretched things, if there be any, are lying dormant within. Just as a teacher does not speak during an exam, as it is when we are being tested and refined spiritually by the Master Teacher. Nice post.

catwalq said...

omo, u r on another level

Olamild said...

that's deep

I never thot of something like this. I thought of silence on a different page entirely but I like what u did with this lil post.

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

When you live in a house with 3 children under the age of 4, silence becomes a cherished and scarce thing. I crave it at this very moment.

lol! Good post though.

Jaycee said...

kai...............

(errrmmm....when I do that I'm speechless Kafo)...

God's silence does not mean denial, it's merely the delay of the most important response you will ever get in your lifetime...until the perfect time. One reason I love God is that He is in a category all by Himself, His definition of 'silence' is not ours, neither are His ways ours...