Last week Wednesday, during prayer service,
I realized that I had a problem
People were giving testimonies and prayer requests
But my lips were frozen

It is not like I don’t know God.
It is not like I don’t know what words to use
It is not like I am not capable of forming a coherent sentence.
You see I have forgotten how to

My sister was recently released from the hospital,
Most people with her condition seldom make it pass infancy, she’s 26
She got THREE job offers after 3 years of unemployment
But for some weird reason I didn’t feel the need to speak

It is not like I don’t speak to God regularly
It is not like I don’t have Him on speed dial
It is not like I don’t realize his goodness
You see I have forgotten how to

My other sister graduated from college,
Landed a job that she is ecstatic about,
Found a guy that she loves that is not only naija but SDA
And is planning a 2000+ people wedding (YIKES)

It is not like I don’t have a reason to praise
It is not like I don’t appreciate what He has done.
It is not like I have chosen to ignore his blessings.
You see I have forgotten how to

The kid has managed to make it to the last 6 weeks of college.
She recently found her latest cell phone which mysteriously disappeared.
She has a roof over her head and doesn’t pay rent.
She has a ride to clinicals (45 mins. away) even tho she STILL can’t drive.

It is not like I don’t come in contact with his mercy
It is not like I don’t feel His angels protecting those I love
It is not like I don’t have whole chapters of praises
You see I have forgotten how to

Crying disappointments
Screaming frustrations
Enumerating requests
Tallying "mistakes"

Praise which used to flow easily like honey from my lips
is now bestowed thru the Heimlich maneuver
Praise which used to cause my feet to dance like penguins on ice
is now portrayed as an infant’s first awkward steps.

Because I do not praise
Because I am so consumed by anger
Because I spend all my time counting lost years
Because I analyze the lives and blessedness of others
I forgot

You see I have forgotten how to praise


laspapi said...

I like this. You write poetry.

Anonymous said...

please don't forget how to praise oooooo. If there is anything you should not forget, don't forget praise. Forget about others and d distractions and face urself.

Jaycee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jaycee said...

I love this write-up. The process of writing it brings all testimonies into rememberance. "Write the vision on tablets, that all who see it may run..."

It reminds me of my own testimonies, I'm in a period where if not for God, I would have no shelter or no money...but God kept me. He's not letting go of moi!!! Lolll...

disgodkidd said...

i identify. many times we forget. all the time, He restores our soul.

Allied said...

"An infant's first awkward steps" turns into running after much practice.

You still remember how to praise HIM you just have to find your strength in HIM.

All is well in Jesus name.

Anonymous said...

this is so beautiful.. you will remember or lelearn mami...

Jaycee said...

(I forgot to tell u I absolutely LOVEEEEEEE ur playlist...seriously, it's been playing on my laptop for the past how many hours???)..lolllll...

Vixen said...

My sister, the veritable one and only genius in my family has somehow kept the family afloat financially the last year even though she didn't have a job or steady income to her name. Not only that, but she has kept us together emotionally as well. Through the thousands of miles that separate us all, from those in the US on the East, West coast, Nigeria and the Midwest, she helps us all stay in contact regularly and keeps us one.

She is the heart of my family. She is the core. She is the glue.

Without my kid sister, we are all just cast adrift as elementally and emotionally charged beings, joined only through blood. Her level head and intelligence quenches the fires that our quick tempers and lack of judgment might cause. I have alot to be grateful for. I have you.

Anonymous said...

i came back to read this again.. its that beautiful

Kafo said...

@laspapi: mii i am not a poet ooooooooo. it is just easier sometimes than prose cuz less words r needed.

@jem: i guess that is it realizing that nothing else matters except Him and you. hmmm....

@jaycee: i actually left out the song that was on my mind the Casting Crown song. Praise u in this storm

@overwhelmed: thanks TWICE

@disgoodKidd: well said

@allied: thanks for visiting

@vixen: sniffle sniffle

IJEOMA said...

you are not the only one..

azuka said...

True that. I seem to have forgotten how to give thanks...

ICE said...

I'm not much of a wordsmith but I am obliged to concur with vixen.

I had a talk with someone dear to me this morning and I had an arduous time telling them just how much I appreciated them for some odd reason.

In a world so devoid of ample positive affirmation, it is imperative to tell those who mean a lot to us just how much they do mean to us.

As the adage goes, you cannot profess love for God when you cannot profess it for your fellow man. So Kafo, you are a balm to all around you and hopefully knowing that will make the praise for your God flow in thanks and adoration for Him making you the fearfully and wonderfully made individual you are.

Daydah said...

The poetry just flows like a brook. I love it. And believe me, you do know how to praise, you just did, with this lovely poem!
And its from your innermost core cos its so true. And its a truth about others.
Vixen has said it all - Kafo, we ALL praise God for blessing us with you. God bless you!

DiAmOnD hawk said...

what is SDA

Kafo said...

that's my denomination
seventh-day adventist

lamp said...

You have brought Tears to my eyes, and a voice to my silence,no we haven't forgotten to praise, just there are too many tears!!

Omosewa said...

You have a way with words that's so HAWT.Hmmm, i feel you, i feel you. One day someone said to me- 'dont judge God based on other people's experiences, know Him and experience Him for yourself"...i'm paraphrasing, but it really hit home for me. Everyday, i try to remind myself that as long as i'm still here, there's a purpose, and i'll discover it and live it. I love your blog, dont know how i missed it. I'll be back. And, LOL@the child who loved you a little too hard.