Furyless explanation

If I got to heaven and find out that Osama was the choir leader I would have no problem.
If I got to heaven and find out that Hilter and Saddam were my dad’s roommates I would have no problem (word is that there is no marriage in heaven so mom can’t stay with my dad sad)
If I got to heaven and find out that some Pharisee made it I might pop a vein.
I have no problem with evil people, but hypocrites who masquerade as angels of light make me want to scream. Especially when they are in MY church.
Sometimes I wish I had the power to stay angry, but then I remember PJ chasing Junior around the house with a broomstick and I retract that wish.
My fury is gone. It didn’t even last 24 hours. Sad. Anywayz here’s the story

A couple of months back I had this crazy idea that the youth in my denomination in Indy needed to unite, i figured throwing a combined youth rally would set the ball rolling. I mean the older generation really wasn’t doing anything about it, so I thought that it fell to the youth to set things right. We have over 12 churches in Indy and on any given Sabbath none of them are full, so I'm wondering why do I get on a plane and travel thousands of miles to a conference to unite the youth across the U.S. when those in my city aren’t united. I mean the black churches do things together sometimes and the whites do something together sometimes but never have we all come together and just praised God. NEVER

I talked it over with a number of people, just to gauge the temp. of the city and they were all excited about the idea.
So I start stalking this Pastor in the white conference (even tho’ we r in the same city. The black churches belong to another conference than the white ones do) because he helped start a similar event at one of our universities and he is a talented musician. (I have no artistic or musical skills whatsoever so having him on board was crucial.) He eventually returns my call and a couple of weeks we get together with other youth leaders and start planning this event.
Now I am a P.K (Pastor’s Kid) so I know all about Pastoritis and turfs battles, so I called all the pastors in the black conference and basically gave them a heads up and asked for their church’s youth leader information.
One pastor, Pastor X, chose not to get back to me but I found his youth leader info. thru’ the vine and started stalking her until she came to a meeting.
So we pick a date, pick a location and create the fliers.
Then we gave the youth
leaders various fliers to distribute in their church. Pastor X's youth leader forgot in all her excitement to debrief Pastor X, so he sees the fliers and basically has a mini stroke.
The next time they have their Pastors meeting he says in a round about way that he isn’t supporting the event because no one informed him and that it is just the white people’s way of trying to use our youth.
Now I really wish I can give you a background on this man but he is pastor so bad mouthing him isn’t kosher and he is like older than my dad so yeah there is the whole respect thing. I mean I might say something and God could send the 2 bears in 2 Kings to eat mii. NOT GOOD.
Anywayz to cut the long story short
He is boycotting
His wife who is the praise team leader who previously agreed to sing is boycotting
His praise team is boycotting
His youth leader is boycotting
His church is boycotting cuz he told her to return the WHITE flyers. He thinks the flyers are WHITE because they look too good to be BLACK.
To add insult to injury he schedules a “Spirit of Unity” choir practice to start 2 hours before our event. (Spirit of Unity is when the five black churches get together and try and convince each other that we don't hate each other)

So yeah I was mad, It’s the whole EXPECTATION thing.
I expect pastors to think not of their egos but of their parishioners.
I expect pastors to forgive and let live.
I expect pastors not to seek vengeance.
I expect pastors not to be prejudicial.
I expect pastors not to be paranoid of white pastors.
I expect pastors not to be concerned about monetary gain.
Basically I expect pastors to be like my dad and uncle. I'm not naive, I know pastors r humans just like everyone else, I lived with them all my life. They get mad but to instruct every member of their congregation to boycott an event and then schedule another event to validate his excuse.
I dunno
So yeah I was furious
O and to make matters worse
His youth leader had to audacity to tell mii that the praise team will not be able to sing because of a “Prior commitment”. She had the guts to come to the meeting and say that she couldn’t promote the event in her church because the praise team which has about 8 members had a prior commitment

I have connections with the music directors at a number of churches and I found out that this prior commitment thing did not create itself till four days after the fliers were passed out. Yet now all the choir members from the black churches (5 out of 12) are supposed to be at this prior commitment thingy

What really really got to mii was the fact that I went out of the regular Kafo way of doing things to included everyone. I was nice to people, i called them, emailed them, stalked them, left messages. I normally don't embark on a mission until I am sure that all the i's are dotted but this time around I was the energeizer bunny, walking up to random people and introducing myself and getting their number. I just didn't expect the opposition to come from within the church leadership, 'cuz i thought i adequately scratched their back. Sad :(

I have given this event everything I am and then some that now i have lost my enthusiam. I am blank. I have to say a few words on Sabbaath and normally the problem is putting a clamp on all the various ideas and sticking to the theme, but now i am empty and i am laying the blame at Pastor X's feet. Now a part of mii wants this to succeed not for God's glory but just to piss off Pastor X. Sad.

I was hoping that Junior (Junior is my kid sister who is basically infectious happiness) would come down from school and rub off on mii but she can't cuz she needs to save money for some punk's (PJ) graduation.

So the event is this Saturday at 7p.m. and a part of mii is scared that it will flop but then my uncle says it is better to fail at something that will eventually succeed than succeed at something that will eventually fail.
I have repeated this over and over again and I think I have managed to convince myself that even if we only have 50 people instead of the expected 350 God’s name will be praised.

So pray for mii oooooo


Soul said...

The pastors is a man.
A human being. who is capable of being arrogant, jealous and proud.

He has shown in his own way that he has forgotten his mission and he has forgotten that the church is not his power to weild as a sword.
he is a servant and not the master.
Let him be. He will receive his pennance.

Now onto Saturday.
It Will be a success
It doesn't matter if only 30 people show up. It will be a success because your hearts were int he right place.

Those who turn up, will be there to 'untie' and not divide.

I for one am thankfull that this fool (yes I called him a fool, I have no qualms with that) has removed himself and the 'doubters' from the event.
Who knows what untold damage they could have caused?.
Let them go. they have shown you their face and their hearts..

Acknowledge it, and seek better things.. let them stew in their ignorance and arrogance. Let them pontificate and carry on. Let them assemble in their thousands to put on an event which their heart isn't in.
Thus, essentially meaningless..
but most important of all.. let their actions speak for themselves.

I wish you all the best n your event. and I'm sure it ill be wonderful for those who attend.

Poetic Justice said...

Just to hold you up. I understand the exent of fury and rage. People think that because they didn't come up with an idea that they are now not going to commit. Seriously Black people, we need to get over ourselves. When it comes to God's work is it really about black and white. And to think that a minister was in on this is too much to include.

That is another reason why people leave the church, beuraucracy and all that jargon gets thier minds thinking in on one level while God is working on another.

Omo fashi jare "where two or three are gathered" is all that matters. And if these four people don't come or that church doesn't show then that is that!

KM said...

Kafo said "Pray for mii."
I will do. Definitely.

I too have high expectations for pastors, because my uncle is one, and I went to school with a few sensible ones, so I know "sensible" (adjective) and "pastor" (noun) can run in a sentence together without "not" having to precede the adjective...

& Soul is right. You were inspired to do something, you listened and did it, and you did it properly. There's something in Matthew that I just have to laugh over sometimes: y'know the wheat and the tares parable? So Jesus was talking about it later and he said "Every tree that wasn't planted by my Father in heaven will be pulled up by its roots. Forget them. They are blind men leading blind men. When a blind man leads a blind man, they both end up in the ditch." And Peter says "I don't get it..." And Jesus says "Are you being willfully stupid?!"

Nuh worry yuhself about either the blind or the willfully stupid. I sense -- call it a prophecy still -- that you have work to do. So you do what you got to do still. Hold your corner, and nuh worry yuhself bout no fool-fool people. Pray fi dem tho. They will "get it" if they choose to. And it'll be better for them long term if they make that choice.

Meantime, I pray that God blesses to the work that you'll do in prep for this weekend. You got this: you straight. :-)


disgodkidd said...

sister, my best friend, who is also a pastor, said something recently i think i could share with you. "Seperate the Man from the Anointing". And concerning your event, breathe. Phillipians 2v13.

Vixen said...

You've been tagged by the way. See Mysterious Meander for details.

Jaycee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jaycee said...

Kafo..."whereever two or more are gathered in God's Name, He will be THERE," and thats all that matters...

I want u to know that sometimes when we're doing great and mighty exploits for God, we have to constantly keep in mind that "we're not God." Unlike Achan who tried to save the ark of God from falling down, we can't save God...God's arm can defend itself...

I am completely confident that ur event will SURPRISE the living daylights outta you...whoever shows up will be whoever God wants to show up, and He will carry out mighty things that will bring people to their knees...

The word tells me that, "my God shall COME and not be SILENT."

Surviving with Truth said...

hi kafo,
havent had a chance to read this post... boy is it ever long!
will come back after my exams tomorrow. just sayin hi..

DiAmOnD hawk said...

girl... that is the spirit... even if only 50 show up... if it's only 5... God's name will be glorified in Jesus Name. I am disappointed at the stance along the racial lines that the pastor has taken.. but that is not YOUR concern.. u just do what you felt led to do...

Kafo said...

thank you alll ooooooo
initially i was angry but after being at the event i realized that it had to happen that way so thanks a bundle