Story behind the words

Okay so here's the story.
I don't do people,
I don't do guys,
Mercy! I don't do friends.
I have friends but it is always on my terms (Less messy that way)
So a couple of months ago when i started talking to this guy
It was on my terms (We talk 'cuz we gel)
I mean before i started this whole blogging thing
I would just talk to myself (Which most people consider a symptom of schizophrenia)
And being that i cherish my sanity i started talking to people, (namely him)
It began like any regular friendship the major difference was that we were honest with each other. If i wanted to get off the phone because my show was coming on then I told him. If i thought what he said was wack i'd let him know. No coyness or dancing around the issue

One thing led to another and we started these 4 hour marathons where we would start talking around 10 or 11 on Thursday nite and quit around 3 on Friday because his phone which is a landline would run out of juice (battery).
Now this is cool, I have friends who I talk to for hours but the difference was that we never ran out of things to say.

And then early this year I started looking forward to his calls. This is when I realized that there was a problem.
You c I don't do expectations.
The more you expect from a person the greater the probability that they will fail and you will end up hurt.
I mean the only reason why people are disappointed is because of unmet expectations. that's like psych 101
So I try not to expect anything. (except from family and they disappoint 8 times out of 10 thus proving my point, I mean numbers don't lie right?)

But then i started to expect his calls. ISSUE #1

and then there is the whole thing that i don't talk to this guy in public i mean we do but it is like lame stuff like the weather or a song and it never lasts more than a minute and then i just run out of things to say. I never run out of things to say on the phone but the up-close-and-personal thing wasn't working. I'd just get tongue-tied ISSUE #2

Then I'd bolt cuz i have run out of lame things to say
I never bolt thus bringing us to ISSUE #3

So because of the expectations
because of the tongue-tiedness (yeah i know it not a word but it sounded good in my head)
and because of the bolting

I had to sit down with my head and heart and have a discussion (I mean 3 issues can't be a coincidence)
which i always try to avoid cuz i luv my head but my heart just makes stuff messy
And my head couldn't convince my heart so i talked to the object of my affection (the whole honesty thing) and basically laid it out

I wanted this feeling out of my body
but my heart is not so easily persuaded
so I'm hoping that maybe if you act like a dick
My head could convince my heart and life could go back to normal


Yeah yeah yeah I know at this point y'all are thinking that I'm nuts, but I like the status quo. At least I have convinced myself that I like the status quo. So yeah

He refused to act like a dick
I said yo it would help if you just say you are not into mii
He says he can't do that either
I say why
He says cuz He is a nice person
I go into agrument mode and say that nice people sometimes have to think of the greater good and u don't want mii stalking you. So you need to be mean to be nice
He gets quiet
I launch into how five words are very easy to say
Still quiet
I say yo we r friends this is a favor
He says being that we have the whole honesty thing it would be a lie and he couldn't lie to mii
I say oooo
He is quiet
I say I need a lil more info aiight (Yeah yeah yeah y'all know where this is going but I needed to here the words so it won't be like my heart is playing tricks again)
He says he is into mii
i said that doesn't help matters
he says What
i say i'm trying to get away from this feeling not embrace it

he says i understand

then we have a logical discussion

and y'all know the rest
So we r taking a month off of talking
cuz we figured it was the talking that might have brought on the mess

Now a week after that discussion
It seems that logical people really are not as smart as we think we r

Yeah
That's the story

13 comments:

Vixen said...

Kafo...wonders shall never cease, your brain does get in the way of stuff. I guess that's the sucky part of being a genius.

Poetic Justice said...

Okay you should have called me for advice. I mean come on, if I could help vixen I can help you!

Now about what I think, call him and tell him how you feel. Don't run because true "emotions" and oppurtunities don't come very often. Friendship is a great foundation unless this dude is married then run in the opposite direction.

I think this is the guy that I thought it was and if it is
start singing "I wanna run to you" by Whitney Houston because I am giving you absolute Thumbs UP!

Kafo said...

U both officially have issues
FRIENDS
can u read
i have priorities and gettig hitched is not one of them
i will leave that up to you two
hmmm

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

I like the sound of him babe... sometimes its hard to find someone that you truly connect with... dont miss it babe.. doesn't gotta be a marriage... or hookup thing... but just having them there can be nice too.. no?

Olubusayo said...

I didn't say marraige oh! haba see how people take my words out of context. I said don't pursue a relationship if the guy is married not that you should run and marry him. Abeg jare! Marriage is not the first step girl. You have to learn to crawl before you can stand on your own let alone walk!

Jaycee said...

Seriously...logical people are CRAZY...and I know what u're saying cos I'm so logical abt things like this...loll...(no further comments)...

"I mean the only reason why people are disappointed is because of unmet expectations. that's like psych 101." Tell me abourrrrit...

I love this post...

Kafo said...

crawl before u walk
ooo PJ u had to take it there

thank you jare Jaycee :-) someone who feels my pain

The Life of a Stranger called me said...

kafo - u r a killer.

Ok so what happened - after the time off conversation?

what is the next logical step?

ICE said...

1. There is no perfect person under the sun. Whether u like it or not, people won't always rub u the right way.
2. Don't anchor your own happiness on someone/something else.
3. There is only one perfect person and if u hang out with him long enough some of his mojo will rub of on u and u'll become less and less of an expert at disappointing and being disappointed.

(I really don't know what I'm talking about but it sounds good)

mack said...

*just laughed my ass off*

Hey K, kpele ejoo... it aint just you. I talk to myself too, that makes me twice as smart... (grinning out loud)

And I thought girls arent't supposed to be logical creatures; so what are you doing being logical?
Ne ways, guess what? You can make him act like a dick if you want to. It's called the 'bringing-out-the-dick-in-him' method. Think about it babe.

Kafo said...

@ dLifeofaStrangercalledmii : hmmm omo i haven't yet figured the next part. But jumping off a cliff with no life jacket is ludricous. So yeah def. sticking to the status quo.

@ ice: okay not exactly sure what u r saying but hmmmmm

@ mack: i need your help oooooooo. this whole act-like-a-dick thing i need a started course.

Anonymous said...

I'm talking 'bout DR J.

Daydah said...

I love this post! And it made me start singing, "Kafo has a boyfriend!" You know that chant we say as little kids?
Kafo my advice is that you better hold on tight. The chance of finding another person you can bond with like this - and even be honest enough to open up to, is 0.005%. Think about it......