I'm putting together this event (hence my recent absence from blogville) and to say we need a boatload of prayers is an understatement.

So yeah.

Please pray.


7 Weird Things About Mii

I was tagged by Jaycee.

  1. I have agruments in the shower: Most of the time I am replying or coming up with a better response to a discussion that occured days before. About a month ago I spent 30 minutes just talking it out while the water poured.

  2. I re-watch the 2 minutes before the love scence over and over again: Kissing is over rated but the moments before the kiss, yeah that is where it is. As the anticipation builds and they play the dance with their bodies and words. Yeah.

  3. I have a crush on Joe Biden: I really want this guy to win the election but for some reason Hillary and Obama are getting all the play. I spend my free time reading up on him and daydreaming about him being president.

  4. When I was 9 I had a crying blanket and pillow that followed me every where until my mom burnt it and then I was tramautized that I know latch on to well worn clothing.

  5. I love well worn clothes: clothes with character have a hard time leaving my body. I have this pair of PJs that I've had since '99 and I still wear it every chance I get, then there is the tank top from '98 that has holes in it that follows mii to the gym.

  6. I hate shopping: Yes I am female but shopping is over rated for mii,. It feels like a chore/punishment. I hate malls esp. because the bookstores don't have adequate seating for mii to pass the time while my sisters buy the clothes that I will eventually fap from their closets.

  7. I hate chocolate: Once again I MUST affirm my feminity, but I really don't care for it. I tell people I'm allergic to avoid the stares and awkward pauses in conversation.

Mercy. I don't think I have 7 people to tag who haven't already been tagged by Jaycee. So this is basicaly a free for all.

99 days later,

I am back home.

November to Remember

Praise isn't the same as thanksgiving
Praying isn't the same as requesting

So for the last four hours I've been trying to write something
Seriously I've been online since around 3 and yeah those two lines that's it.

November is hard to define
I'm trying to remember the whole month and find a way to put a bow on it and wrap it up and toss it in the vault but a myraid of emotions litter the ground. Rage, resentment, pain, peace, patience, disappointment, despair, happiness, hunger, hope, anger, anxiety and the list goes on.

I went for a walk today and yesterday and trying to see God in all this and talk about how far he has brought mii this month cuz in comparison to my emotional state last month November rocks, now of course stuff went down that broke my heart or caused mii to scream but someone in it all I got a glimpse, but yeah, the words just don't convey what I'm feeling they sound like platitudes and Eliphaz and Bildad and let's not forget Zopher so yeah, i don't want to sound preachy.


that is the problem I'm trying to describe God and my relationship this past month but fall short because words don't do him justice. So technically it isn't my fault and writer's block does not exist in this case. It is God's fault he is more than words.
and I wish I could tell you why
but He is more than wonderful
More than my heart or mind can see
I wish I could describe him to you
but words fall short, so yeah
He is more than the words in the dictionary can express
He is more than the father that picks you up when you cry
He is more than the mother you cleans up after you
He is more than the friend you supports your crazy plans
He is more than the banker that extends your loans
He is more than the spouse who witnesses each pitfall
He is more than
So let's just say
He is more

Woes of a Logical Person: IV

don't get it for mii
i want you to but
i get that you can't
so get
it for you
get it cuz it is
the right thing to do
no get if for mii
as a sign
as a gesture
i don't think it's
too much too ask
get it cuz u love mii
no, no,
NO! don't get it
cuz then u might resent mii
for putting u in that position
so don't get it for mii
get if for you
cuz if u get it for mii
it will only be b'cuz
i asked u to
so it wouldn't mean as much
as if you just got it
just like that
so don't get it for mii
get it cuz you really want too
cuz you need it
but then again
if u don't think u need it
why would
u get it
so don't get it
if u don't want to get it
if you don't get it for mii
no, i wouldn't feel worthless
but i might get mad
and then resent you
for not getting it for mii
even tho'
i did ask
so get it cuz you want to get it
it is the right thing to do
at least that's what i think
but if u don't think that
then don't
get it for mii
thinking of u
get it for us.
our relationship

this makes it better
it might help
but then if it doesn't
it's my fault
so don't
get it
don't get it cuz i ask you to get it
get it if you want to get it
i want you to want to get it
without mii asking u to get it
so yeah get

. . .

do u guyz get it
cuz if u don't get it
then i just wasted my time
so i need u to get it
but then again if u don't
that's cool
cuz it might make mii
seem philosophically superior to y'all
i kinda sorta need
you to get it tho'
cuz there is the possibility
that if you don't
then i might look infinitely crazy
on soo many different levels.
so get it
don't get it
think about it and then get it
b'cuz if u get it immediately
it might trivialize the gravity
so yeah chill then get it
or just act like you get it

honestly at this point
just get it

Thank God I'm Nigerian


We define innovation and let complication
serve as the reason for exploration
When others concede we proceed
and develop ways to succeed
In the midst of adversity
we create opportunity
We don't give up.

I wish I could go on about
our class, taste and unique spirit
but the pictures take care of all that
Happy Thanksgiving

Calabar Trailer

Anambra I-Pod




Water heater in Ibadan





Sokoto's New Toyota Cowrolla




Kano Ambulance

African Apprentice

It seems like the makers of Survivor are taking The Apprentice to Africa

So if you are interested, the info is below. It applies to Africans in diaspora also. I think it is also being hosted in Nigeria.


Reaction to the movie Something the Lord Made

My man loves this movie
I hate this movie
I reallly really really don't like it
Like certain parts of the Bible, it rubs mii raw
and then leaves mii with more questions then answers.

Find what you love and live it
Live what you love by working it
Working thru the uncertainty and disappointment
Shedding each layer of fear with failure
ilure frees you to live your life
By making peace with Trepidation
Trepidation embraces Uncertainty
Enveloping Anxiety with Wisdom
Driven to the scene by the Knowledge
That this is your life
Your destiny and each perceived pothole
is in actuality a signpost.
Leading you
On your journey
To perfection.
This perfection,
Which cannot and must not be defined by Pride
Or the expectations that others derive
Work it not for accolades and recognition
Because secret handshakes in back alleys with Conceit
Only gives you access to Vanity’s ballroom
So quit the tango
with Opulence
Throw away the bow tie of Arrogance
And walk out with the confidence
That you have been called
For a specific purpose
Reacquaint yourself with true success
Success that transcends
ideals and creeds
Reaching to satisfy humanity’s deepest needs

Stay tuned for the conclusion cuz I’m still processing the movie.

30 Days of Thankfulness 2: DAY 8


Diamond tagged me in her month of Thankfulness so here it goes. But before I go any further I have to thank God for the internet. You see for the last three weeks my internet connection was MIA. I had to go to the library to check my email every couple of days and yesterday around 6 pm Internet came back home and we have been having a party since.

New Beginnings
Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. Lam. 3:23 (NLT)

Lamentations is a saddest (if that is a word) book of the Bible. A book of weeping and mourning but somewhere amidst all the prophesies of doom Jeremiah found hope in God's mercy which like the dawning of a new day are new every morning.

The sun rising in the east
The birds chirping as they feast
Dew on grass, sky so blue
Fresh crisp air, remind me of you

Your mercy and your grace
Allow me to set a new pace

I'm thankful for new beginnings, Father
Yes, I know that You know that I'm a creature
who avoids change but this time around I'm thankful
and somewhat grateful for the process and some of the pain

So here is the story peps.
I moved out to Cali about 2 months ago with the sun in my eyes and thought that this new beginning would validate and justify the last 30 months but it didn't. Saying I was disappointed is putting in lightly, i think I spent the better part of September crying and October cursing but now as I start my third month in exile I realize that I needed this. I needed to see that even tho' I had come far I still have major issues. You see, I had gotten comfortable in Indy, my flaws were hidden with routine and structure but being in this crucible has awaken me to my inadequecies and dependence on God.

So yeah, 8 reasons I'm thankful

I'm thankful for the new people I've met and the experiences I've had.
I'm thankful for the kids that it seems were born to drive me mad.

I'm thankful that I came here regardless of the pain.
I'm thankful that I can now call love by his name. (N)

I'm thankful for the friends that kept me together (Naija parties & blog comments)
I'm thankful for November's 80 degree weather

I'm thankful that I get another new beginning in Texas ( in 3 weeks baby!!!)
I'm thankful that I am learning how to accept this

and to sum it all up

I'm thankful that thru' it all,
tears and shame,
disappointment and pain,
and all the other stuff that shouldn't be named

God was there, even tho' most times I felt alone
but every once in a while
as I watch the rising sun,
His mercy
His mercies
yeah new every morning

I'm tagging Jaycee and KM for Day 9. Which is the Day of i dunno. Hey Diamond do I come up with what the day is or do u?


Economic sanctions did not make Iraq fall
and just so you know, Iran is still standing tall.
Castro has outlasted the son of JFK
and all you can lay claim to is Gitmo Bay
Sanctions do not work

If you goal is to starve the average person
and let innocents get hanged for treason
If you want to fractionalize the future central government
by making thugs and warloads permanent
Keep on.

If fueling the propaganda machine
is your greatest wish and fondest dream
If the increase in rape victims gives you pleasure
and you revel in the blackmarket sale of a country's treasure
Keep on, keep, keeping on.

This is part of my letter to the G8, to get the rest of the story visit

Have a nice day.

To Know or Not to Know: 1 - To know what lies ahead

If you have a choice between certainty and hope,
choose certainty everytime.


I don’t want to twittle my thumbs
while waiting for the final wave
to sink this ship lost at sea

I want to know

I don’t want sit and imagine great things past
in an effort to persuade myself that
the future will surpass it in grandeur

I want to know

I don’t want to spend my days sautéing plans in dreams
and serving them up with hope as a side dish
on a platter on screwed up ideals

I want to know

I don’t want to choose a choice
that lands me in a separate country
far away from the goal that fuels my vision

I want to know what lies ahead

To Know or Not to Know Series

I’m a pendulum
Constantly oscillating between two extremes

Some days I want to know
Others I am cool being ignorant
Some days I trust God implicitly
Others I'm the skeptic in residence

So this comes in parts

Today I think I want to know.

Truth Teller tooo late

I was feeling good about myself. This is not a normal occurance, so I'm chillin',
basking in the wonderful feeling that I had somehow averted disaster, and done the right thing at the right time.

You see, this whole truth telling thing is a bit harder than writing a few lines that rhyme.
It requires you to either give a part of yourself or take apart another person.
It seldomly comes with no repercussions.

But I'm feeling good about myself because I had told the truth and truth is all that matters, right?
I mean, I even managed to do it in a lovingly manner. John Lennen said that love is all you need so I thought that telling the truth in love was the best course of action.

I wasn't trying to hurt her,
I wasn't trying to reduce her dreams to cliche.
I wasn't trying to get a few laughs at the expense of her heart.
I wasn't trying ...
I wasn't trying to do ANYTHING,
I was just living my life the way I wanted without having it constantly scrutinized by all.
Is that wrong?

Two years.... she had given it two years and I had given it,
8 months?
but the truth had to be told and I did it and thought that I had strengthened a friendship.
and then I picked up my freaking phone.

awon aye
awon amebo

I'm dating this guy, sorta
and I decided not to tell anyone at his church and neither did he
then I got on a plane and moved to Cali.
now there is this girl who has had a thing for my guy for about 2 years now, she claims that he is constantly looking at her, staring at her feet and stuff like that. Up until Friday I had only heard about her feelings thru' the church grapevine so I never really gave it any credence. Anywayz i thought that she got over it and had moved on to this other guy and then i'm talking to the chick on Friday and she is still going ga ga over my boy and I was like OOOOH NO!!!.

I didn't want to deal with it
so i circled around the issue and just told her that the guy was taken but I didn't say who he was dating because I really didn't want my whole private life splayed across the Church steps.

but my words were looking back at mii (the whole Truth-teller poem)
accusing mii
so on Sunday I called her back to tell her that the guy she had a thing for was taken but it seems like some NOSEY AMEBO who doesn't have a life had told her a couple hours before I did.

So now she not only feels bad because she has lost her dream man
She also has a slight mistrust of the youth of our church
and our relationship (mii and her) is basically in shambles because she thinks that I was lying to her and laughing at her behind her back.

The weird thing is that when I called her she didn't act like she was aware at all and then today I find out that someone broke the news to her 4 hours before and she was devastated. I know this person who decided to impart the knowledge to her and let's just say it wasn't altrustic or out of love or anything like that. This person isn't exactly tactful or nice, so I'm pretty sure she made the girl feel like an idiot.

What aggravates me about the whole situation is that today I spent over 2 hours on this issue when my sister is in the hospital, my mom is confined to bed rest, my future is uncertain, my relationship with God is rocky.

It seems like in an effort to avoid confronting our own mediocre existence
we invest time in dissecting the lives of others.
I'm done
I'm guilty of it myself.
two weeks ago i spent a third of my conversation with my boy discussion some other person's love life.
Hmmmm.....words, words words, they're coming.

This is why I try and avoid the whole church community and keep my private life private.
but even that has repercussions.


and now i have spent another 30 minutes blogging about it.

Speak: Truth Tellers?

Nothing can be more cruel than the leniency which abandons others to their sin.
Nothing can be more compassionate than the severe reprimand which calls another Christian in one's community back from the path of sin.
------------------------------------------------Dietrich Bonhoeffer.

You sugar coat and dress it up
like lil’ Barbie it’s all dolled up
Masking it beneath platitudes
with a nonchalant attitude
Because your scared of rejection
you prevent my comprehension
Smothering needed correction
to prevent possible tension
Spoken with the best intentions
you portray a misconception
In an attempt to remain my friend
you instead contribute to my end
In an effort to persuade
you evade and parade
To maintain this masquerade
that is being portrayed
you weave webs of deceit
making truth seem obsolete.

Brief Haitus


My laptop battery is dead
NO! My ac adaptor is dead
and soooo my battery can't charge
It has been dying for the last couple of days
so sad
and the replacement doesn't come till next Wednesday
So yeah.
in the words of the Governator

Dilemma at 10:11 pm

the phone rings
i look at it
it keeps ringing
and i do nothing
then it stops.
15 minutes later

it rings again
and i look at it
it keeps ringing
and i just look at it.
i think and wonder
finally, i pick up
but it disconnects
so i hit re-dial
it goes to fax,
i hang up
and wait and then
the phone rings.
i pick up
immediately this time
u say "Hey beautiful"
and I smile.


The greatest want in the world is the want of men;
men who will not be bought or sold;
men who in their inmost souls are true and honest,
men who do not fear to call sin by its right name;
men whose conscience is as true to duty as the needle to the pole;
men who will stand for the right though the heavens fall. –Ellen G. White


You are not defined by wealth
So quit stockpiling riches
conniving and lying just to make a dollar
You justify shirking your responsibilities
by saying your chasing the American dream
but in reality you are buying more toys
to compensate for your low self esteem
your money does not make you a man

You are not defined by position
So quit scheming and backstabbing

those you say are your friends
You climb up the ladder with invisible glass ceilings
trying to serve the man in order to become the man
but in reality you are just one pawn on this board
in this pursuit of so called self actualization
Your job does not make you a man

You are not defined by education
So quit using big words and feigning knowledge
Presenting others people ideas as your own
Making sure you win every discussion
Spouting philosophical theories
whosheying! Please,
Intelligence is not measured by degrees
Wasting time, memorizing words of dead white men
Your title does not make you a man

You are not defined by mii
You are not defined by any daughter of Eve
So quit boasting about those you think you’ve tamed
Measuring your essence by the size of your dick
Marking your bedpost each time you get laid
Talking out the side of your mouth
whosheying! Please,
Character is not measured by words
Wasting time, working constantly on your game,
Your charm does not make you a man


Every since moving to Cali I have been overwhelmed with testosterone.
I live with my Uncle and his family and there are these two other guys, ages 23 and 25 that also crash in his place and every where I go there are uncles who knew mii when I was 4.
This is reminiscient of the whole Junior/Senior year in college where I'm the solo female in the group.
I’m in church today and the pastor says this quote and boom the words start to flow.
Now being that I CAN'T tell this to all the boys that act like men that I know
I'm share it with y’all instead.

I couldn't figure out a way to end it tho.
so i think i have to answer the question and say exactly what makes a man a man
I think we need a conclusion



This was after a full nite or should i say a full pre-dawn day of crying. Seriously, when I thought I had no more tears I drank a bottle of water and found a box of Kleenex and started again and then around 10 am (after 7 hours of weeping) I was like go to bed and so I did and then I had nightmares or daymares and woke up and called Vietnam and they were like

Ah we have your purse
and I'm like SERIOUSLY, thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you

and then she said you can pick it up

and I'm thinking AHHHHHHHH Girl I don't need your permission

So yeah ppl. I have my purse.
Thank you all for the support. Seriously I was yeah. It was bad.


I'm tired


When you at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on --- Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Once again this is a case of quoter gone berserk. The statement seems innocent enough until you have one of those never ending days in which your nightmares come to pass.


I'm thinking
Now that I'm at the end of my rope, is talking about a knot the best way to cheer mii up
Now that I'm at the end of my rope talking about tying a knot is very dangerous. because being that I AM at the end of my rope when I think of a knot, I'm thinking of Judas' kind of knot.

I'm thinking
Now that I'm at the end of my rope, is tying a knot the best way to go out.
Now that you have planted the idea of suicide in my already addled mind I might become more creative and spice things up a bit. Would it be beneficial (wrong word, suicide CAN'T benefit anyone) okay less painful for mii to sit there and strangle myself.

I'm thinking food, good food OF COURSE
mixed with
Rat poisioning,

of course the thought has never crossed my mind

I've been in Cali for about 16 hours and all I want to do is exit stage left
I have managed to brake a wheel on my suitcase and lose my identity
I can't start working
I can't get a Cali license
I can't open a bank account
I can't drive
I can't get a new IN license w/o being present and presenting my non-existent SS card
I can't obtain a new SS card w/o committing a federal crime and presenting my license
I can't do anything
because my SSN card, license, all my credit AND charge cards AND gift cards have surreptioulsy disappeared.

Okay surreptiously is the wrong word
More like I MISPLACED (i don't want to use the word LOST because I might jinx it) MY FREAKING PURSE.
The day was going bad enough already, with the whole 100 degree temp.
I had managed to accomplish nothing and only cried twice and now this.

Here I am trying to stay awake a few minutes longer so that I can call all those nonsense companies that do not have 24 hour service for stolen cards. Mercy!

I guess one good thing about this is that 5 am in Cali is 8 on the east coast but then again I wouldn't have lost my identity if I hadn't gotten on a plane to come to this arid place.

I'm stopping

So yeah, please pray that it miraclously appears because that whole end of the rope thing is ... yeah. Let's just say that I need help

and sleep

good nite

Parting I

Parting is such sweet sorrow that I shall wait till it be 'morrow. William Shakespeare

This doesn't make any sense. What is Willy saying?
Is he saying he plans to delay the parting a couple of more centuries until he suffers from dementia and can't remember a thing?
Is he saying that he will delay the sorrow that naturally will come with the parting?
Is he sooo high on crazy romantic illusions that he believes that sweet sorrow will metamorphizes into something else?

I don't know what he was trying to say.
All I do know is that

trying to find a reason to stop time while fast forwarding into the future is absurd,
trying to pack 2 and a half years of stuff into 2 50-pound suitcases is impossible,
trying to convince yourself that phone calls will ease the seperation is illogical,
trying to teleport yourself back for every celebration and event is ridiculous,
trying to create a strong impression so that ppl. remember you is pathetic,
trying to memorize each person with your Canon SD1000 is ineffective,
trying to deepen relationships while the pendulum swings is useless,
trying to control the pain with logical extrapolations is ludicrous,
trying to mend bridges so that u're conscience is clean is sad,
trying to stop the flow of tears with Kleenex is hopeless,
trying to capitalize and savor every moment is futile,
trying to ration the amount of hugs is pathetic,
trying to savor his embrace is impossible,
trying to put on a strong front is pitiful,
trying to express your fears is risky,
trying to smile is time-consuming,
trying to breathe is too hard.

but yeah,
here I am failing at all I am trying

but still trying to convince myself that leaving Indy and moving to Southern Cali. is for the best.

Are you teachable?

I was in church last week and in the middle of the sermon I had this overwhelming urge to stand up and tell the pastor to SHUT UP.

I had to resist the urge again this past Sabbath.


It was hard but I controlled myself and did not tell the pastor to HUSH.

Here's the problem.
  1. Homelessness and mii don't agree, the pastor is my uncle, STRIKE 1 and so there is the whole Naija respect thing, oh and I do live in his house so telling him to hush would not be beneficial for my bumified being.
  2. Then there is the obvious fact that he is a man of God, STRIKE 2 and God might choose the moment to teach mii a lesson and strike me with lightening or make mii dumb, either way my life is irrevocably altered.
  3. STRIKE 3, everybody knows mii, my voice, my hair, my Naija outfits there is no way, no way that I would have been able to pass it on to my non-existent twin sister or claim to have had an out-of-body experience.
So yeah,
I kept my tush in the seat and did not tell him to shut up.

Instead I tried to write as fast as my fingers could because what he was saying was sooooooo
soooo sooooo beautiful. Mercy. It is sad that I have forgotten all that shorthand that they tried to force down my throat at ISI.

I needed to tell him to shut up so that I could write down all the stuff he was saying but he just kept on going an' going an' going and eventually I just gave up and figured why am I stressing I live with this guy I could hack into his computer and get the sermon.


Here's what I was able to write last week.

Prov. 17: 10: A rebuke goes deeper into one who has understanding, than a hundred blows into a fool.

If you are teachable you are changeable
If you are changeable you are fixable.

If you are teacheable
  1. You will not play with sin: Samson
  2. You will not give an excuse: Moses
  3. You must be willing to break down the idols in your life: Gideon
  4. You must be willing to do the things that don't make sense to you: Joshua
  5. You mut be listening for His voice: Samuel and Elijah

Are you teachable?
  1. When was the last time people gave mii input: if no one is giving you input it is because you are a dead horse and they have given up on you because they know you will not listen or react positively to what they have to say.
  2. When I see measureable growth in my character.
  3. When I don't have to answer each critique with a defense: do you have an answer/excuse or rationale for every mistake? Do you constantly find yourself justifying eact action and explaining it to the advisor EVERY SINGLE TIME!!!
  4. When I don't have to criticize back: when my pride is in check and I am able to look at the person and not try and discredit them
  5. When I'm learning new ways to grow: it doesn't end with the light that you have recieved. Learning is a lifelong process and doesn't end the moment you get baptized.

Up until #3 I was feeling pretty good about myself and then he said those words and I was like OUCH.

So yeah I just needed to share this while it was still fresh in my mind. Ahhhh now that I am done I am thinking of this quote by my boy Bonhoeffer. Ahhhhhh, okay I'll be back later to give u my spin on Bonhoeffer's confrontation.



I have never thought of myself as a poet. I'm a numbers child, a huge chunk of my childhood memories are steeped in swapping homework with the sisters. I did their math homework and they wrote all those asinine essays of "How to Prepare my favorite dish" or "My Family" or the one we had to write after every single break "How I spent my Holiday." (I mean were our teachers lives that pathetic that they had to get their kicks out of finding out how our summer break went?)

Anyway I never thought of myself as a wordsmith. In SS 1, I cheated. Before this I was the source of info. people came to mii for answers but it's the last day of finals and some guy from Poetic Justice's class stole the wrong exam questions and ended up having the expo for the SS 1 English Literature final (instead of for his class, SS 2) and I wasn't in the mood of figuring out what the difference between an oxymoron and hyperbole was so yeah I cheated.

I came to America Junior year of high school and had to write a reserach paper. Mii, Kafo, spent the better part of a month researching about the Holocaust, I had NIGTHMARES, wrote 10 freaking pages on the tragedy and Ms. Schaffer (yes I remember her name, and her hair style and her scrowl) rewarded my efforts (this was the first time I tried to write a paper on my own) with a D and then when she found out that I had just gotten off the Mayflower she upgraded it to a D+.

I went to college and chose the major with the most math classes without becoming a Math Major (b'cuz then I might end up a schizophrenic like John Nash). Freshman year I tried in vain to convince my Gen. Chemistry prof. that writing a conclusion for each lab would detract from the lesson learned that day. My sophmore year, I remember sitting in English Lit 1 and thinking of ways to torture my professor after she made us write a paper on that crazy poet lady that commited suicide, was it Plath? Junior year if it was not for "The Economist" reading head of department I would have convinced all the profs. in our department to handle my papers with care because English was my second language.

But here I am years after avoiding English, cheating on a final, swapping homework, changing majors, bribing sisters and negotiating with Lab techs.

Here I am, a poet.

Today I was reading Mack's latest post and as I was writing a comment words just came and I was like, "Wow, chill, I'm a poet."

I'm a poet even tho' I still can't tell the difference between an oxymoron and a hyperbole.
I'm a poet even tho' I haven't read any of the literary geniuses like Byron or Hughes.
I'm a poet even tho' I still haven't figured out what a comma splice
I'm a poet even tho' I still don't know when to use a semi colon.
I'm a poet even tho' most days the words come out wrong
I'm a poet even tho' some days the words confuse mii.
I'm a poet even tho' I still prefer numbers to letters.
I'm a poet even tho' some words prove elusive.

So yeah this is for Mack

Don't stop
As poets we never run out of things to say
Regardless of our forever evolving relationships
Seeking to manipulate how we view ourselves
In addition to the anger that stains our thoughts
Drenched in the constant upheaval of the cosmos
In spite of the noise that threatens to submerge our voice
Coupled with the pain that defines this moment
We are still and will always be poets

We exist
to inspire a generation to think
to share a light that banishes darkness
to speak a truth in a world where lies thrive
to convey a feeling that is cloaked in mystery
to provoke a response from the nonchalant
to empower a nation to act
especially now
to provide an anchor in the midst of the storm
to bridge a gap between our amnesiac present and our past
to discover a path that leads others to the Light

We exist to speak life

so don't give in to the voice that says you are worthless
don't succumb to the idea that you have nothing to say
don't embrace feelings that cripple the mind
you are not useless

you are a poet.

Sprung story

So yeah, I'm sprung. Just like everything else around mii in this loco world it was beyond my control. But then again if it made sense I wouldn't be a process of springing but a logical conclusion. The wierd thing about the whole sprungness feeling is that it doens't dissipate. I know eventually it should start to fade but for the last month it has basically been one big knot.

So yeah, here I am mourning the loss of my solo levelist lifestyle. There is no one that a person can behave in such a manner and still claim to be single. So I guess after 23 wonderful years of unsprungfulness.

So yeah, I wish I can pinpoint the exact moment but I can't. It's like after writing the whole Woes of a Logical Person 3 I realized OOPS Girl u have it bad. I mean why else would I be mourning the loss of something that hadn't begun.

Sniffle, sniffle.
I'm not entirely sure that I will miss the solo levelist days tho.

Wish mii luck.


You know your sprung
When u call him just to hear his voice
When u call him just to hear his voice and forget why u called
When u call him just to hear his voice and forget why u called and then make up a
just to stay on the phone

You know your sprung
When u spend your days talking to him
When u spend your days talking to him on your cell phone about trivialities
When u spend your days talking to him on your cell phone about trivialities and he isn't
in your network

You know your sprung
When his scent arouses you
When his scent arouses you and his eyes sets you on fire
When his scent arouses you and his eyes sets you on fire and he hasn't
even touched you

You know your sprung
When u crave his touch
When u crave his touch and dream about his touch
When u crave his touch and dream about his touch and stay in bed just to
prolong the
dream about his touch

You know your sprung
When u wrap your arms around him
When u wrap your arms around him after watching a movie at 2 a.m
When u wrap your arms around him after watching a movie at 2 a.m. standing in the
movie theatre parking lot

You know your sprung
When his words render you speechless

When his words render you speechless and cause you to shiver
When his words render you speechless and cause you to shiver even tho' you are sitting in
100 degree weather

You know your sprung
When u spend the whole day with him
When u spend the whole day with him and then talk to him all night
When u spend the whole day with him and then talk to him all night about things that
happened when u spent the whole day with him

You are sooooo sprung.

Today my sister ...

I'm trying to get this all out before the clock strikes twelve.
Something beautiful happened today and in order for mii to say today i have to finish this post in the next 28 minutes so yeah here it goes.

Today my sister who I used to feed when she two,
Today my sister who likes to try on every shoe

Today my sister who fought with me over Champion & Happy Day underwear
Today my sister who likes to dress up in outrageous color and flair

Today my sister who got sick from eating banana cake mix
Today my sister who beat the living daylights out of mii when she was six

Today my sister who made mii cry when my dad spanked her for beating mii up
Today my sister who always tries to dress mii up

Today my sister who played every role in her neverending dramas
Today my sister who knows in detail every childhood trauma

Today my sister who is three inches taller than mii
Today my sister who climbed Guava trees with mii

Today my sister who has the LD on every Naija person we know
Today my sister who knows more about Hillary than Bill wants to know

Today my sister who tried to cage a scorpion with her feet
Today my sister who acts likes she knows everyone she meets

Today my sister who bugs mii 24/7
Today my sister who left home when she was eleven

Today my sister who is too lazy to write her own resume
Today my sister who has fun everyday

Today my sister who is 2 years and 4 months my junior,
Today my sister who knows Makosa like an African Dance major

Today my sister who has dealt with undisciplined Naija children
Today my sister who named chickens and cried when they were eaten

Today my sister who doesn't understand the concept of daytime minutes
Today my sister who thinks that she is the sheeznit

Today my sister who saved mii from being the lastborn
Today my sister who continues to rescue mii from boredom

Today my sister who has an awesome memory
Today my sister who wishes she could drive the Camry

Today my sister, my ONLY baby sister, graduated from college

and if anyone, if one more person including the parents thanks mii for being there I WILL LOSE MY MIND.


Torn by love
the cords created by love

How can it be
When will it be
How does it happen
When does it happen

We were one for a while
Hearts beating in sync
I felt your every move
You were a part of mii
The day I gave you life
I also birthed unhatched agony

Over the years, I've watched you grow
Teaching you everything I know
Each lesson strengthened your wings
Each warning illuminated your path
Each rite of passage was a mountain
scaled on this journey away from mii

Bolstering your courage
Widening the chasm
Weakening our bond
Stretching the cord

and now it's broken,
this cord created
by love is now torn by love

Yesterday I went to a friend's wedding and the undercurrents were swift.
The tension could cut through titanium metal without making a sound.
So many words unspoken, demands ignored, prayers unanswered,
So yeah, watching the mother of the bride these words came.
They don't encapsulate all of the emotions,
but instead give voice to one.

You name it.


Bewilderment has laid seige to my brain.

I was going to launch into an explanation of Woes III but the experience is too fresh and my brain is muddled. Muddled, NO! more like frantic, it's like my brain is scared of Bewilderment who is two seconds aware of taking over the castle and because of this Brain is acting like the inhabitants of Gondor (The White City in Lord of the Rings) running around defenseless with no plan. Seriously. When I try and gather my lil' peons together, to make sense of it all (that is what we logical people do) the formation ends up more screwed. So yeah, I guess I should just let it simmer until Aragorn comes or the city falls to Sauron.


I have issues with silence. There is this guy who is great at silences and it drives mii loco. Seriously. I could be giving him the latest family drama and he is so silent. MERCY!!!. It's like HELLO!!!
Are you there??? Sometimes I am left wondering if he is even listening. I remember when we first started talking it used to drive me nuts but now I kinda cherish those moments. I embrace them (most of the time) because I know him. I know that after the silence comes this response that is like a Stradivarius violin, carefully and uniquely crafted for mii (and my animated ridden situation).

I have issues with silence. In church last week when a lady said that it is beautiful to just be able to sit next to a person and have the deepest conversation without words.
I'M LIKE WHAT!!!(of course I'm in church and can't get up in the middle and start telling her how unrealistic that is) I really did try and imagine just sitting there and having this fulfilling conversation without words but I couldn't. I need words. I like words. I need a response. Any response would do. Seriously a slap, a nudge, a snore, a wink or a tap on my shoulder. One word. Any word.

The Silence of God

Dottie Peoples says when God is silent He's giving us more time to pray.

Micheal Card says that the silence of God can drive a man crazy.

I say that the silence of God is the worst kind of silence.

I call it Senseless Silence. When I say Senseless i'm not talking about it being without reason. No, I'm talking about all the senses being rendered useless. A silence that you can't see or touch or feel or hear or taste. It is there but you can't use any of your other senses to define it. Silence that exists on multiple dimensions. This I think is the Silence of God. Now you may disagree with mii and that is wonderful. I don't fully get it myself so I'll leave you with the words of Mark Jarman.

First forgive the silence
that answers prayer,
Then forgive the prayer
that stains the silence.
Excuse the absence
that feels like presence,
Then excuse the feeling
that insists on presence
Pardon the delay
of revelation
Then ask pardon for revealing
your impatience
Forgive God
for being only a word
Then ask God to forgive
the betrayal of language

Woes of a Logical Person: III

How am I supposed to get over you
When you can't even promise to forget mii

How am I supposed to move on****!8****
When your scent still lingers on my skin

How am I supposed to "see other people"
When I am just beginning to see you

How am I supposed to dream again*!*8***
When you are still the man of my dreams

How am I supposed to plan forever
When forever doesn't include you

How am I supposed to love again***** ****
When I haven't even fallen in love with you

Solutions to Woes of a Logical Person: III

How am I supposed to get over you
When you can't even promise to forget mii
I will get in a train wreck and force myself to
suffer permanent loss of my short term memory

How am I supposed to move on
When your scent still lingers on my skin
I will learn to swim and remain in the pool
until my skin begins to smell of chlorine

How am I supposed to "see other people"
When I am just beginning to see you
I will switch to contacts and begin
to have contact with millions

How am I supposed to dream again
When you are still the man of my dreams
I will have many unresolved issues right before
I go to bed and will spend my dreams solving them

How am I supposed to plan forever
When it doesn't include you
Planning forever is ludricous it hasn't worked yet
so stop thinking and planning MERCY!

How am I supposed to love again
When I haven't even fallen in love with you
Hmmmmm this is a tough one
I'll have to get back to you

Things out of proportion

I got disillusioned.
My passion for politics disappeared,
It seems like after the rage that defined May came the resignation of June.
I think
It has something to do with the fantasy of democracy being presented, or maybe
It has something to do with the masquerade called the Supreme Court, or maybe
It has to do with elected leaders that act like they are high on pot, i'm thinking
It has to do with greedy pimps raping my continent in the name of development

hmmm, na bump that
I'm just blowing this out of proportion

but then again,

I did get disillusioned and
there has to be a reason so

I'm convinced
It has something to do with
Commuting jail sentences,
Broken promises and borders,
30 second ads that cost millions,
Politicians that spout yet never act,
Imaginery weapons of mass destruction,
Hours spent on glamourized jail sprung belles,
While mere minutes are spent on fallen soldiers

maybe I'm blowing this out of proportion a lil'

But words are being distorted
and I can't get past it

I'm convinced that
It has something to do with
Genocide being defined as acts of genocide,
Coercion defined as economic sanctions,
Civil war defined as acts of insurgency,
Starvation defined as population control,
Cronyism defined as restructuring,
Imperalism defined as loans,
recommended by the IMF to the Paris Club (who else?)

Breathe in
Breathe out
nah, I'm just blowing things out of proportion

but then again I open my eyes

put on my glasses and

I'm convinced that
Greediness is being portrayed as capitalism,
Reparations as handouts,
Drugs as prescriptions,
Slavery as cheap labor,
Immigrants as aliens,
Nepotism as qualified candidates,
Inflation as economic irregularities,
Segregation as Affirmative Action already achieved,


this isn't real
i'm just blowing things out of proportion

Marital Requirement: #2

I’m tired
Kids love mii

My husband needs to be rich, sterile or house-broken

Here’s the story
There is this lady at my church with this 15-lb 6-month baby boy, Mic, and her regular babysitter (her mom) is out of town so she needed someone to watch Mic this Monday and Tuesday and for some odd reason she thought that I would be perfect. Now as I mentioned earlier, kids love mii, for some reason unbeknownst to mii. So, she asked, and I couldn’t turn her down ‘cuz she was really in a jam and I had nothing else to do so yeah.

So after staying up all of Saturday and Sunday (up all of Saturday night, went to bed around 11 am on Sunday, up by 2 pm, that's my next story) I went to bed around midnight and got up at 7. Monday morning she drops off Mic and for the next 2 hours I tried to decode the tears and sometimes screams emitting from his powerful llungs. Seriously, this kid can wail, one day at church when he was upstairs in the loft I heard him downstairs in the sanctuary above the sounds of all the people in church. SERIOUSLY.

Anywayz his wailing awakens my kids (d Munch (12) and Tiny (7)) and next thing I know they come down the stairs full of advice. I’m like HELLO, I helped raise both of you so STOP with the 2 sec. wisdom sound bites. Around 10 a.m close to my wits end I take him outside and within moments he is asleep (DON’T ASK), it was a miracle. He sleeps for the next 3 hours and I catch a few Zzz’s myself.

When he gets up, I geared and ready to go and able to predict each whimper.

Today was different, when his mom dropped him off he didn’t grab her hair and scream he came to mii willingly. This should have been a warning sign to mii. Three hours later, lil Mic is still awake. Finally around noon he goes down for a nap and is up after 45 mins. I then spend the rest of the day trying to convince him that sleeping is a noble cause and crying is not laudable but Mic isn’t falling for my line.

Here’s the conclusion,
creating kids is easy,
having kids is painful,
watching kids is hectic, time consuming and a full time job

On Monday, it took mii 3 hours to cook rice, stew and dodo, BECAUSE I had to carry him everywhere and it is very hard to fry plantain with one hand and half a body.

I couldn’t even pee. The kid is attached to mii, that whole separation disorder thingy he has it, seriously, this kid is watching mii like a hawk today, and the moment I try and get my nephew to watch him so that I can take care of business his face puckers up, his mouth opens, and because I am trying to avoid the next sound I capitulate.

I capitulate to a 15 lb, 6 month old kid.

So basically here is the marital requirement.
He has to be MAD rich so that he can afford househelp to keep the place clean and cook while I care for his offspring
He has to be sterile
thereby supporting my adoption of 3 year old kids who can speak and I don’t have to decode their crying.

He has to be my like dad, house and child broken, basically sharing in the whole diaper-changing, snut-cleaning, food-making, house-cleaning, child-rocking process.

Hopefully he exists.

Realistic conversations

I hate this conversation
I hate the tears that flow
I hate the reasoning involved
I hate the part of mii that wants to scream
I hate the part of mii that wants to object
I hate the part of mii that agrees because you are right

We don't miss people
it doesn't last forever
You look back and it is just the memories
you remember the fun you had
but don't weep for the fun you aren't having with particular people.

what is the point of talking to u
of getting to know u
if this is it


Hmmm, Flip it
i need to scream
cuz the tears aren't helping

6 Degrees of Seperation

I'm supposed to be in bed but I can't shake this feeling
I'm working on three hours of sleep and really miss my pillow
This is a remix of some scribbling that I don't particularly like

This one is tough ** * ** * * * * * This one is hard,
Difficult to accept ** * ** * * * * * But it is what it is


There is a reason why people are told to be cautious
There is a reason why people are advised to think twice
There is a reason

It seems to me that if you ignore such counsel you dig a hole
Not with a spoon or spade but a shovel
Each wrong decision moves you further away from your destiny
Each wrong choice today creates an obstacle that must be scaled tomorrow

When will people learn that life is not a moment but a series of moment
When will people learn that life is not a move but the entire game of chess
When will people learn

Here are the facts, life is a cold hard mistress
The ills that we perpetrate today MUST be paid tomorrow
She will NOT pardon or forget our mistakes
She is not God, but Life

There is a reason why we were warned about promiscuity
There is a reason why we were told to think before we act
There is a reason

Our childish ignorance
Our teenage delinquencies
Our youthful recklessness
Now haunts our future

When will people learn that life is not a cell but an entire matrix of cells
When will people learn that life is not a silken line but the spider's web
When will people learn

Those six degrees of seperation that join us all
Restrain and also bind us,
Constricting the flow of life,
I mean mistakes thru' us

We are all related in one way or another
This might not be fair
but this is Life


Last week Wednesday, during prayer service,
I realized that I had a problem
People were giving testimonies and prayer requests
But my lips were frozen

It is not like I don’t know God.
It is not like I don’t know what words to use
It is not like I am not capable of forming a coherent sentence.
You see I have forgotten how to

My sister was recently released from the hospital,
Most people with her condition seldom make it pass infancy, she’s 26
She got THREE job offers after 3 years of unemployment
But for some weird reason I didn’t feel the need to speak

It is not like I don’t speak to God regularly
It is not like I don’t have Him on speed dial
It is not like I don’t realize his goodness
You see I have forgotten how to

My other sister graduated from college,
Landed a job that she is ecstatic about,
Found a guy that she loves that is not only naija but SDA
And is planning a 2000+ people wedding (YIKES)

It is not like I don’t have a reason to praise
It is not like I don’t appreciate what He has done.
It is not like I have chosen to ignore his blessings.
You see I have forgotten how to

The kid has managed to make it to the last 6 weeks of college.
She recently found her latest cell phone which mysteriously disappeared.
She has a roof over her head and doesn’t pay rent.
She has a ride to clinicals (45 mins. away) even tho she STILL can’t drive.

It is not like I don’t come in contact with his mercy
It is not like I don’t feel His angels protecting those I love
It is not like I don’t have whole chapters of praises
You see I have forgotten how to

Crying disappointments
Screaming frustrations
Enumerating requests
Tallying "mistakes"

Praise which used to flow easily like honey from my lips
is now bestowed thru the Heimlich maneuver
Praise which used to cause my feet to dance like penguins on ice
is now portrayed as an infant’s first awkward steps.

Because I do not praise
Because I am so consumed by anger
Because I spend all my time counting lost years
Because I analyze the lives and blessedness of others
I forgot

You see I have forgotten how to praise

Sedoka: I WISH

If Sun never set
We would watch it forever
We could talk ‘till the sunset

If we never met
I would embrace it's limits
I could enjoy the sunset



Sedoka: A Japanese poetry style.

I kept on thinking that it didn't fully mirror my emotions
so I made it a true Sedoka and added the second verse
on June 22nd, yeah yeah five days too late I KNOW

Story behind the Words: Guilt vs. Mercy

Do you ever feel like you deserve to die?
Do you ever feel like sin is your middle name?
Do you ever feel like saints were created to taunt you
Do you ever feel like heaven was imagined to haunt your nightmares?
If you answered yes to any of the above, then you are in good company.

Here's the story
I was scheduled to speak in church two weeks ago and the idea terrified mii. I've spoken in a couple of churches over the course of the last year,

  • So
    I should have relished the opportunity and made it my finest hour,
    I should have spent the week emersed in the Word,
    I should have spent countless hours scouring thru' concordances to fully understand the root meaning of a word,
    I should have spent the week on my knees praying,
    I should have spent the week memorizing portions of the sermon,

but i couldn't
I spent the week trying to get out of the assignment.
I really thought that God was going to send lightning to strike mii dead at the pulpit.
Trying to find a perfect excuse as to why my preaching skills are ill suited for the current climate in the church is tedious work. I tried and tried and tried.

Needless to say I couldn't convince my pastor, so on Wednesday, feeling frustrated I skipped prayer meeting and decided to chill at home (i mean, WORK on my SERMON).
I get on my computer, open up iTunes, and I am determined to drown my guilt and fears with some music when this sermon by my boy (Pastor Dwight K. Nelson) dropped into my lap. (more like podcast-downloaded into my face).

You see, I had spent the previous week avoiding God and the church because of this sin that I had committed. I was blinded by my guilt to the point that every prayer I said started and ended with a plea for mercy. I really think that when it comes to sin Paul would give up his high chair and pray for mii. I mean even David with his wife-stealing, husband-killing ways can't compare to mii.

His sermon uses the genealogy of Christ to explain how there is mercy for everyone regardless of past history or sins. It was just what I needed to hear and so I spent the next two days listening to it over and over again on my shuffle.
Here's the short of it

God is soo merciful that he allows messed up people in his family tree. Matthew includes these names not because they are all important in recounting the genealogy of Jesus but because of the mercy. Women are normally not included in family tree's but Matthew added 5 women and 1 Gentile, all in the first chapter of his book. There are actually two trees in this chapter and because of the second tree we can all be included in Jesus' family tree.


Mercy for the unloved: Tamar
Mercy for the pagan: Rahab
Mercy for the excluded: Ruth
Mercy for the fallen:David & Uriah's wife
(do u wonder y her name isn't mentioned???)
Mercy for the faithful: Uriah
Mercy for the obedient: Mary
Mercy for the sinner: Manasseh and mii

I am soo botching this up. Mercy Came a Running: When Mercy Grew on Trees that was the title and if you have issues with guilt I suggest you download it using iTunes (IT'S FREE)


I am turning in my Nike's and surrendering to His mercy.

Mercy Came Running

God's mercy is constant, never changes and is chasing after us.

Jacob ran in circles*
Elijah ran to the mountain*
Sarah ran out of hope*
Moses ran from justice*
But Mercy came a running

Tamar ran after her father-in-law
Daniel ran to the lion's paw
Paul ran the Christians out of town
Martha ran Mary's esteeem down
But Mercy came a running

Rahab ran a brothel*
Noah ran to his bottle
Adam ran from God
Aaron ran to make gods
But Mercy came a running

Lot ran with the wrong crowd*
Jonah ran away from the crowd
Joseph ran from his brothers
James ran to his mother
But Mercy came a running

Samson ran to the wrong woman*
Solomon ran after too many women
David ran from the sheep
Amos ran after the sheep
But Mercy came a running

Samaritan lady ran to husbands
Abigail ran from her husband
Zaccheus ran up a tree
Mephibosheth ran on his knees
But Mercy came a running

Peter ran from questions
Philip ran to questions
Thomas ran to view visual proof
Nicodemus ran from the truth
But Mercy came a running

Will you stop running???

* denotes phrases from Max Lucado's "Facing the Giant"


Today is the 40th year anniversary of the 6-day war waged against the state of Israel by Egypt, Jordan and Syria. It’s been forty years and nothing has really changed. Everyone suffers and no one is really just, the land has been poisoned by the blood of the innocent.
So yeah, it got mii thinking and then I couldn’t stop.

It always starts with hope
Hope destroyed
This destruction causes pain
Pain inflicted
Because of the decree
Decree enacted
By the elevation of men to heroes
Heroes created
To deal with injustice
Injustices endured
Because of implanted heroes lies
Lies propagated
Chain people to irrational fears
Fear instilled
Becomes a breeding ground for anger
Anger festered
Never allowing a time of healing
Healing neglected
Causes unforgettable wounds
Wounds implanted
In the hearts and the minds
Minds disillusioned
Give way to uncontrollable hatred
Hatred perpetuated
Against innocent families
Families obliterated

On all sides, time and time again

All have suffered
All have lost
And it all began with the loss

Suicide bombers, Israeli troops,
Fatah warriors, Hamas youths,
And it all began with the loss

The loss of hope


I don’t mean to be obtuse but the truth came out disjointed
And when I tried to make it sound comprehensible
I started to input my limited view into the struggle of the people
and so I stopped

Scrambled Words

Do you ever get the feeling that people are not saying what they mean?
Do you ever get the feeling that your words have been misconstrued?
Do you ever get the feeling that the english language was created by drunks?
Do you ever get the feeling that we are all accursed because of it?
If you do then take comfort in the fact that sanity is a myth and normality a fantasy.
Enjoy this

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters :

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:


When you rearrange the letters:


NO I did not spend my time coming up with this stuff.
I am jobless but not that bored.
I got this from a friend who got this from someelse else.
So the question is WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE???

Woes of a Logical Person: II

I pass you by
and then I sigh
I can’t seem to be seen
I want, I need to believe
That you still feel something

You pass mii and then you sigh
I think that you disapprove
I follow your every move
I want, I need to believe
That you feel anything

This is harder than I thought
I think on how to act
So I contemplate and strategize
and so I never act

I’m waiting for you to act
I think on how to act
Your silence makes mii think
and so I never act

In vain we wait

I am you
and You
are mii

Unspeakable Joy

Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence.
Talent will not; nothing is more common that unsuccessful [people] with talent.
Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.
Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.
Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.
The slogan “press on” has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
Ex-Pres. Calvin Coolidge, via

I’ve been looking for something profound to say ever since I landed in New York but the words are hiding in Fort Knox, and I’m the lil’ kid outside its enormous walls begging to be let in.

Here’s the story, my sister is graduating; now as naija people graduating is not a big deal. I mean high school graduation is a joke and even when you get your 1st degree people don’t spend the day applauding your efforts, no they are curious and are quick to advice you on which grad. school to apply to.

Anyways my sister is graduating with a bachelor’s degree after 8 years and to say I am proud is an understatement. I don’t think I have ever in my life been as proud of her as I am right now. I don’t think I have been as proud of anyone except my mom (when she got her doctoral degree while sending three daughters to college).Even when she eventually becomes a lawyer I won’t feel this sense of familial pride and joy as I do now.

I can’t even write right now because my wonderful sister is making noise in the other room and it is the middle of the day and normally the darkness illuminates my thoughts.
The words are still elusive but here it goes.

---------------Hold your head up high
---------------Daughter of Oduduwa
---------------Be not ashamed
---------------You are strong
---------------Your strength cannot be measured
---------------by any quantifiable means
---------------When others gave up
---------------You pressed on
---------------When they said it couldn’t be done
---------------You smiled
---------------I passed you by on this journey called life
---------------Excelling in areas that you could only dream about
---------------You could have resented my success
---------------but instead you choose to support mii
---------------My road was easy
---------------Yours hard
---------------Still you prevailed against the storm
---------------When the waves swelled
---------------You practiced the breaststroke
---------------When the walls seems insurmountable
---------------You laughed
---------------I admire your strength
---------------I envy your persistence
---------------Your ability to sing
---------------In sinking sand
I wish I have the words to convey what I feel but I don't
I'm numbers not letters, so i'll stop

He has restored the years that you have sown in tears
So it took you eight years what the rest of us accomplished in four
So what?
Your better for it
You are the most well adjusted
Spiderella is going thru an identity crisis,
I’ve never been in a relationship,
And Junior is still clueless as to her path in life

So yeah
Big ups to you
U now have it all
The hubby, the home (not house), the job,
all that remains is the twins so yeah HURRY UP

And even tho’ my happiness
is never outwardly expressed
I am proud that you are my big sister

So live the life you have chosen
Live it without regrets
Rejoice because you are free to dream
Life's shakcles no longer define you
You have shown mii that
Nothing is impossible


Like a screeching parakeet, demanding to be recognized
They grate my nerves
With never ending chatter


Like titanium bullets, discharged at light speed
They pierce my soul
Doing damage irrespective of my defenses


Like a cheetah, stalking its prey in the wild
They hound me
Never satisfied until fresh blood is drawn


Like Sahara, encroaching Savannah
They drain my strength
Thirst slaked at the expense of my sanity


Like radioactive waste, dumped on fertile ground
They corrode my thoughts
Preventing life from springing anew


Like a buffalo stampede, moving as one
They crush my dreams
Obliterating anything in its path

They exist
To create our destiny
To remind us that we are human

We become and are a product of our Choices

I hate choices.
I'm the person who goes to McDs and can't decide on what she wants.
I'm the person who goes to Macy's, shops and then spends the next week going back to the store to exchange or return everything she got.

I'm the person who has spent 2 years researching digital cameras and has YET to buy one.
I could tell you about the 3-year search for black pumps but i think u get the gen. idea.
I do well with ultimatums and one-way streets.
I adapt that is what I do.

Drop mii on Venus, and within a week I'll show you how to make pancakes from venusweed.
Presented with options, my brain goes into overdrive.
Maybe it's the lefty thing.
I either freak out or spend an inordinate amount of time reaching the same conclusion that I started out with.
I hate choices.
So yeah, now I am basically screwed, because my one-lane street has become the I-10 into Los Angeles.